Hello reader! I decided to write my next article especially for teachers, so that they understand why students do not go to pairs? Indeed, such a problem exists for both contractors and state employees, and some audiences in pairs are completely empty.

What are the reasons for such omissions, and how the teacher reacts to them, let's try to figure it out together. The most important thing that is important to understand is the student's motivation, otherwise it will hardly be possible to instill in him the feelings of diligence, punctuality and responsibility. So let's talk together.

Reasons for absenteeism of couples by students

Many teachers do not want to know why a student misses pairs, and if he does not appear, they not only begin to loudly resent in the presence of the entire group or stream, but also threaten. As a rule, these are formidable promises not to surrender the upcoming session, so you will not hear anything original at such moments.

However, this is an incorrect and non-pedagogical approach to the problem, since the clarification of the relationship should proceed in a purely individual manner, and before yelling, one should understand the reasons, which, by the way, may be weighty or disrespectful.

1. Family circumstances... Sometimes in the life of a student there are things that can be settled only during educational process... Such "unexpected circumstances" can affect all areas of life, while requiring an immediate response.

Of course, in such stalemate moments it is best to find a teacher and take time off, but it often happens that every minute counts.

2. Personal problems... Sometimes students skip couples due to trauma, for example, after breaking up with a lover. At such moments, it’s not like learning, eating and breathing.

Even the most diligent and responsible student can deliberately "forget" to study and spend meaningless days in mental anguish. Here, little depends on the teacher, but the help of friends and fellow students will certainly come in handy and will be needed.

3. Part-time job... Some senior students manage to earn extra money during the educational process. Such an increase in the scholarship, of course, will not hurt, but it can significantly spoil relations with principled teachers who do not agree with the systematic absence of students from their pairs, especially lectures.

It's best to compromise here, otherwise the scholarship may not be available next semester.

4. Personal irresponsibility... In this case, we are talking about student laxity and systematic truancy without a good reason. Teachers do not like malicious violators of order in their pairs, therefore, in this case, without visiting the university, you can not only "fly" with a scholarship, but also easily be on the verge of expulsion from the university.

So here the whole point is not in the teacher, but in the student, who must understand why he entered the university - to study or to walk. The last motivation is a failure.

5. Antipathy towards the teacher... There are also students who, for one reason or another, do not perceive the teacher, and the answers in a couple turn into bickering and conflicts.

This situation is unpleasant for either the student or the teacher, so the former prefers to ignore the couples. He can do this with malicious motives in order to create trouble for the teacher in the department, but such cases in teaching practicerather, isolated.

Perhaps these are the most common reasons that hinder normal study and regular attendance at the university. It is advisable to eliminate them, otherwise the student's progress will be noticeably reduced, and promising and bright plans for life are distant.

What should a student do?

If a student is absent from couples, then the first thing to do is to understand that this attitude towards learning will not end well with anything. He should adjust himself, and perceive the unloved teacher according to the principle: "Everything will pass, this will pass too!"

You just need to be patient, try to grasp the essence of the subject and, if possible, please the unloved teacher. And how he will do it, intuition will tell. It is pointless to give any advice on this issue, since all teachers are different and each requires its own approach.

In cases where work interferes with normal learning, it is best to talk to a teacher about free attendance. It will be difficult to convince him, but in principle it is realistic (I know from my own experience); and most importantly - then make it clear with their knowledge, grades and general academic performance that the work did not in any way affect the interest in studies and a specific subject.

Here I will tell you my example: in order to achieve free attendance in the 5th year, I begged individual teachers almost every week. They incredulously made concessions to me, but demanding the presence of a complete outline.

It was hard, and it was possible to rewrite the "scribbles of fellow students" only on sleepless nights. But there were never any complaints, and my academic performance and the scholarship did not suffer in any way.

In cases where absenteeism is caused by a love drama, it is very difficult to pull yourself together and tune in to study. And breaking out of depression and painful memories on your own will not be easy.

However, here friends and sports should come to the rescue, which will help switch thoughts and set up the sufferer for further study. From myself, I can add: no relationship is worth higher education, therefore, you should not give up a promising future for the sake of imperfect and doomed relationships.

If family circumstances arise about your truancy, it is imperative to warn the teacher so that he does not learn such important information from third parties. In a personal conversation, you can explain everything and, as it were, ask for time off, and not put the teacher before the fact of his absence in his subject. It is also advisable to remind of diseases, otherwise, by mistake, you can create the impression of a lax truant, ignoring knowledge.

What should a teacher do?

Since I devote this article more to teachers, I would like to talk in more detail about their behavior. Students are different, but a teacher is not just a teacher and mentor, but, above all, subtle psychologist.

That is why the issue of absenteeism must be treated with particular caution, so that later among the students you do not get a bad reputation or some kind of malicious nickname.

So your student is not in pairs? The first step is to write down his last name and go to the dean's office to find out if he is sick, and if he has good family circumstances.

If the reasons for the absence on couples are really good, then a serious conversation is best to temporarily postpone. But, if the teachers report that the truant attends other lectures, it's time to think.

Of course, it is not worth entering into his position, since all students know why they decided to study at the university. But again, the circumstances are different, but for a start it is recommended to send him "fiery greetings" through the headman. After that, you can wait for a groove - 2 - 3 pairs, and, if the situation does not change, take more radical actions.

You can meet and stop him at recess, but it is also recommended to visit the couple where he is clearly present. In this case, you cannot do without serious conversation and warning, but still try to understand the arguments. If the reasons are disrespectful, and you are faced with the most common loafer, then it will not hurt to threaten problems at the session.

When such convictions are again useless, make one last try, which, perhaps, will make him think. If not, then you can no longer worry about his fate, but ask in full at the exam.

No, I, of course, cannot teach and give recommendations to well-deserved and qualified specialists, but I am simply sure that the method of shouting and intimidation does not initially work. However, students are also people, with their own reasons and circumstances, which sometimes can be understood by an adult, even a teacher.

On the other hand, the teacher should not run after students and persuade them to attend couples, but from a purely human point of view, inquiring about their academic performance will not be superfluous.

How to officially truant couples?

So that later there are no problems with teachers for systematic absenteeism in their pairs, you can formalize a free visit or transfer to correspondence form learning.

The first option is ideal, since the student does not lose the scholarship, maintains the duration of his studies and skillfully combines two useful things at the same time. The second option is more radical, since distance learning lasts for a year more (5.5 or 6 years), is carried out exclusively on a contract basis and has a number of its own nuances. So the first option is best.

If absenteeism is reasoned, includes a certain period of time, does not require regularity, then you can write an official paper in the dean's office and sign it with the dean. But in this case, be sure to promise that all "tails" will be pulled up in a timely manner, and there will be no problems at the session.

Conclusion: From now on, neither the students nor their teachers should have any questions as to why students do not go to pairs.

I hope that all the suggested tips from the site will turn out to be informative and useful, and the attitude of the student-loafer towards learning will change as well as the attitude of teachers towards some of their careless students.

Now you know, why don't students go to pairs.

Best regards, site team website

P.S. Or maybe it’s right that the students do not go to some couples? Watch a video of one of the typical days of an American student :).

I study at school, I have never had strong problems with academic performance, I get up with an alarm almost without problems. But after that, I start to postpone the moment of getting ready, stalling for time, distracted by anything, and
when the time comes, and I know that if I pull myself together, I’ll have time, but I don’t have the strength to force myself. And so I can skip 2-3 lessons. I know that this is bad for me, I am ashamed, but I can’t bring myself to pull myself together. There are no problems in the family and she did not hide anything from her parents until this moment with truancy. I don’t like to learn, but I don’t hate it either. There are friends at school. I really, I have to persuade myself to go to school. Strange, but after I get ready, it’s easier for me to go to class. I used to think that it was due to the distraction in the phone, I limited myself access, but still managed to find something to distract myself and postpone the preparations by the deadlines, and then again I could not gather myself together and get dressed ...

How to stop truant?

Hello Anna! There are people who start something difficult, take the first step, so they need to make this step quick, easy and invisible. To do this, you need to postpone the main school fee for the evening, and in the morning set the alarm so that you just have time to get dressed and go out (breakfast at school). Clothes and a briefcase are prepared in the evening. It is very useful to make an appointment with friends every morning and then you will not get ready for school, but for a meeting with friends, because they will be waiting for you somewhere along the way, and will come to school together. The result will appear steadily after about a month. If this does not work, then the problem is deeper and it will be useful for you to work with a psychologist on how you generally realize yourself in life. Best regards Valeeva Galina

Question to the psychologist:

Hello! My name is Anastasia, I am 18 years old. This year I moved from my city to St. Petersburg to enter a university. Received in technical university at the hydrological faculty. In the first weeks everything went well, I went to classes, studied, managed to walk around the city. Gradually, I started skipping classes. First one lesson, then two, then a day. In November, I came to the institute only a few times. This month I came to find out what my English language debts are. There are so many omissions that I can no longer count. Next week there should be tests, but my head is empty, only scraps from the first lessons. I'm afraid to go to the teachers about debts, I think they will be scolded (although I deserve it). I live in a hostel, my neighbors are freshmen of the same university, I'm fine with them. I am considering several options for which I do not go to class. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I was disappointed with the choice of the university. To be honest, I don't even know what to work for me in the future. There is knowledge of English languagemaybe something from biology. I know that I am not the only one who was so mistaken that many go through this, but this does not give me an answer. I told my mother about this, and she offered to take the winter session and transfer to another faculty. I don’t tell my mother about absenteeism, because I’m afraid of her reaction, or I just don’t want to upset her. Mom lives in another city and learns about her studies only from me. The second reason is lack of rest. We did not have time to really relax in the summer, filling out documents and sending them to different universities. But I would not consider this point. The next reason - I call it the good girl riot. When you study for 11 years in a row, without missing a lesson without a good reason, you study, being afraid of getting a C, and getting a C, you get it yourself - all this leaves some kind of imprint. Perhaps, far from home, I feel free from obligations, because here it is, the goal is to do, it has been achieved and I must breathe freely and give up the inhibitions, which I do. Or maybe I'm just lazy to such an extent that I can only learn from under the stick? What if I have no innate gift to learn, not given? I am a little jealous of people who go to university with pleasure, who are not afraid of difficulties. I will be very grateful if someone answers my question.

The question is answered by the psychologist Mainali Larisa Valerievna.

Hello Anastasia. You have analyzed well your situation and possible reasons for which you missed classes. Yes, unfortunately, if there is no interest and emotional involvement, then this is not satisfying.

I would be interested to know what you do and what do you do when you are not attending classes? What is the prevailing need? How do you feel when you make a choice - to walk or go to lectures?

The fact that you have escaped from parental care and control, including the grades received at school, of course, can also cause absences, like many others. But you definitely have an "innate gift to study", otherwise you would not be able to finish school and go to college.

It is of great importance according to what criteria was the university chosen? Was it your desire, or was the most important thing to do somewhere? You can spend years studying, unlearning, under a stick, because it is necessary, or the parents want it.

It is very good that my mother supports me in moving to another faculty. Take your time with the choice. Analyze, what would you be interested in? What talents and abilities have you noticed in yourself? What activities are of interest? What do you like - communicating with people, counting, writing, etc.? Read what professions exist, take tests for career guidance, and try to choose several, realistically assessing your capabilities and abilities.

Question to the psychologist:

Good day. My name is Yulia, I am 19 years old, I am a 1st year student of the university. Recently, I have been acutely aware that not everything is all right with me and that I need help. To understand the whole situation, please read to the end.

It all started at the end of January. After the New Year, I felt that I was full of energy, that I was ready to plunge headlong into my studies, start playing sports (I even bought myself an annual subscription to a fitness center), master some new hobby, in other words, my life more or less satisfied me and I have not experienced any problems. Everything changed when the university was quarantined, and everyone had an unscheduled 2-week rest, which seemed to me then very good news. In fact, everything turned out to be different.

These more than two (the quarantine was extended for a few more days) weeks completely unsettled me. I distinctly remember the day when I had to go to the university after a break: I just sat on my bed in the morning and cried, I realized that I didn't just want to go to school, I was AFRAID to go to it. Yet that morning, I forced myself to get up and go to university. Every day, couples and just going out became for me more and more depressing and even scary thing, and I can't say that I just really wanted to sleep or I was lazy. The point was different, and I could not fully understand what was happening and why my attitude to study and life in general had changed so dramatically. Against the background of all this, I began to have very serious health problems, which completely ruined my life. Almost every day I experienced wild abdominal pains, sometimes I felt sick. Because of the pain, my stomach often rumbled loudly, and therefore being in crowded, but quiet places (auditorium, dining room, cinema, theater, etc.) was simply unbearable. Every time, being among a large crowd of people, I began to get terribly nervous, in pairs, it seemed that I almost fainted at all. This went on for about a couple of weeks, and by the end of February, I started skipping couples.

The days passed unbearably. I was very worried about the whole situation, I cried every-every day. I could cry at any moment, anywhere. But it's rather strange that there were rare moments when my mood just went off scale, I could chatter, laugh, even dance incessantly. Everyone asked why I was so "sausage", and I myself did not understand what was the matter, because a couple of hours ago I was hysterical. But this did not last long, and after a couple of hours I was returning to my usual state. I had such "bouts of activity" about once a week, maybe less often.

Leaving my apartment (and even my room) was a real feat for me). I abandoned the university swimming section (which I simply adored before), fortunately, I had a certificate from the gym (which, by the way, I did not attend either - I was terribly afraid). The university hosted a lot of various events, free trainings, courses, many interesting films were shown in the cinema, but I did not want ANYTHING, I wanted to come home and go to bed. By the way, about what saved me. I found comfort and at least some joy in life in 4 things: sleep, music, food ... and alcohol. I listened to music always and everywhere, it was hardly possible to see me without headphones: I played some track and just forgot about everything, imagined a wonderful life in which everything is fine. My imaginary world, thanks to music, has replaced reality for me. Once the phone was discharged, and I woke up on some street, completely oblivious to its name, and generally not remembering how I ended up here, i.e. walked completely forgotten. With food, things were similar: I just went to the store and spent all the money I had on all sorts of tasty treats, then came home, locked myself in the room and gorged. From this, health problems became even more, there was a suspicion of gastritis. The stomach began to ache and rumble even more, which became the reason for even more frequent absences from school. In short, a vicious circle. Alcohol is a separate topic altogether. Since it all began, I became really cheerful only in moments of alcoholic intoxication: every weekend my friend and I went to a club where we got drunk, met all sorts of men, went to them ... When the next week came, more a million hard thoughts about what I'm doing.

I gave up the couples completely. If in February and March I skipped them occasionally, a couple of times a week, one or two lectures each, now I may not appear at the university for weeks, even skipping seminars. My group, probably, has already radically changed its attitude towards me, having recorded it in the category of "typical idle-truant". But I am not like that, and I know it. Before that, I just loved to study. I know that I am a rather purposeful person, that I have abilities, yes, maybe not super-fantastic, but those that helped me to enter the budget in prestigious university and even receive increased scholarship... In the first half of the year, I did not miss ANY class, I went to school with pleasure. Despite the fact that I am an introvert in life, I still somehow found a common language with people, communicated. I often met with my friends, went somewhere, now even with them I don't really want to contact (unless, as I wrote above, go to a club to get drunk). She began to adore loneliness. Previously, I also liked to walk, to go somewhere alone, but recently I caught myself thinking that I want to live alone on the planet.

Because of all this, I ruined my relationship with everyone: with teachers, classmates, friends, and of course, parents. I tried to talk about my problems with mom and dad, but they start yelling that I just don't want to study. They do not believe and will never believe that I really feel bad, that I need help. In their opinion, I wind everything up. I used to think so too, but now I am beginning to be convinced of the opposite.

At the moment, my life has not changed, and it has become even worse. Everything I wrote about continues, and I can't help it. Every morning, with regular screams, my mother wakes me up for school, I get up with a face like a zombie, get ready and just go / go wherever my eyes look: anywhere, but not to study. During these months, I have visited, probably, every street in the city and traveled on almost every bus route. After the steam time expires, I head home, on the way having bought another ton of food, I come, eat everything and go to bed safely. About any homework and there can be no question, I am even afraid to open it. Weekends are also spent in entertainment establishments, which make me feel happy for a while, but I understand that this is imaginary happiness, a deception.

As for the university, while I still find the strength (both physical and moral) and the courage to come there at least for important classes and checkpoints, but soon, it seems, I will stop going to them, because of which I will lose my scholarship. or I will deduct altogether.

I do not know what to do. I'm so scared. The whole current situation torments me to the depths of my soul, but I can’t help myself. It gets worse and worse every day. Recent times I started reading about something similar on the internet, and all the symptoms point to a mental disorder of personality. Before, I didn’t believe that such diseases existed, I was convinced that it’s all pretend, exaggerated, now I understand that it’s not just that… I was the first to talk about the whole situation now, I wrote everything as it is. I just don’t know who to turn to, because I think that they will not understand me. I'm afraid to go to a psychotherapist, because I can't even imagine how he can help me. But I don't want to leave everything idle either ... In general, I'm in despair. What to do? How to change your attitude towards life? Should I contact a qualified specialist?

I apologize for such a huge text, but these are all my emotions and feelings, I tried to describe the situation in as much detail as possible. Thank you in advance.

The question is answered by the psychologist Ekaterina Aleksandrovna Sologubova.

Hello Julia! Thank you for contacting us! You ask if you need the help of a psychologist. Yes, definitely, it is necessary, because as I read your letter, I had a lot of questions, the answers to which I would not like to think out for you, and without them a reliable analysis of the situation is impossible.

So, for example, question number one is the choice of this university, to which you SUDDENLY did not want to go anymore, it was initiated by someone - you or your parents (this is important when analyzing your case). After all, we, adults, cannot help but understand that nothing happens just like that and that such a block that you subconsciously arose (and even in such a short period of time) has a clear basis. Perhaps, if the choice of the university is the initiative of your parents, and you wanted something completely different for yourself, this isolation can be a certain form of protest. And, if this is really the case, then it may make sense to think about changing the university, about academic leave, looking for a job, etc.

Question number two - how did your relationship with classmates develop before the New Year? Was there something in them that made you hide in your world, not see or hear anyone around?

Question number three: when did you first feel that you were afraid to go to college? Mentally, no matter how difficult it may be, go back that day and think - and what exactly scared you then - meeting with the guys, with the teachers, or in general the very fact of leaving the house (a trip to the subway, public transport)? What exactly? After all, there were no problems with this before ...

And there are a lot of other questions: is there anyone among your circle who supports you, to whom you can come with your tears, experiences, to whom can you open up and trust? If there is such a person, then this is very cool, he is your resource.

In addition to eating, sleeping and drinking alcohol, do you have any other activity that brings positive emotions? For example, when you wander around the city, are there any places you want to return to, which are pleasant to visit? They can also be resource for you, you can rest in them, get a charge of energy, which is so lacking.

The position of your parents also raises the question - is it generally accepted in your family to discuss feelings and experiences of each other? I understood that they send you and the institute every day ... And if you try to talk, for example, alone with your mother from the "I-position", ie explaining to her what you are experiencing and feeling, without hysterics and recriminations.

Try to answer all these questions, say the answers out loud - and, perhaps, this will help to clarify something for you. But, I repeat once again, of course it is better to do this not alone, but accompanied by an experienced psychologist.

In addition to contacting a psychologist, I think that it would not be superfluous to conduct an examination, for example, by a gastroenterologist. You can do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland - sudden mood swings may be associated with a lack of iodine in the body. In order to receive these and other recommendations, you first need to contact a therapist.

It is probably corny in such a situation to say that you, Julia, whole life in front and close from her into the sink is not an option, because we are all social beings and deep understanding, knowledge of ourselves is possible only through communication with other such different and interesting people ...

As for the accusations that you address yourself, this is a road to nowhere. Try not to do those things for which you reproach yourself so much - do not go against your understanding of what is right for you and what has a place in your life.

I really want to support you and the fact that you wrote this letter indicates that you are already on the path of positive changes in your life. Just do not stop ... You spoke about the readiness, in the past, to go in for sports, to master a new hobby - and maybe now return to this? Perhaps it makes sense to start swimming again, you can find a pool near your home (not necessarily at the university), etc.

Julia, I wish you an early completion of such a difficult period in your life. Respectfully yours, psychologist Sologubova Ekaterina.

4.4285714285714 Rating 4.43 (7 Votes)

Maria Soboleva

How to skip work without unpleasant consequences?

How to skip work - well, admit it, even the most disciplined employee has such a question at least sometimes. We understand that this is not good, but we are not robots and we can afford not to show up at the workplace just once. But you have to come up with a valid and convincing reason.

How to skip work and not get fired

If you are fortunate enough to have loyal leadership, almost any excuse will do as an explanation for the missed work day.

In general, for absenteeism under strict superiors, any employee may well face dismissal. At best, a reprimand or a fine. So you have to think in advance how to skip work without consequences.

Absence from the workplace — the most valid reasons

You can ask your superiors for an extra day of rest, or day off, in advance for working overtime or on weekends. He will not be paid, but it is quite possible to skip relatively legally. You need to warn of your intention to take time off in writing.

Another option not to show up for work for a good reason is to donate blood. Do a good deed in the morning and all day at your disposal. This, of course, is not suitable for everyone. Not everyone can become a donor for health reasons, and many of us are afraid of the procedure.

If you nevertheless decided on this option, fill out a certificate at the donor point and an official explanation of your unwillingness to work today will be provided.

Alibi will provide you with a certificate that you have visited a doctor, an entry in the outpatient card. You could feel bad and you decided to urgently visit a doctor. But you should notify your superiors about your intention to seek medical help on the day you are not at work.

A certificate about the illness of a child or a relative who needs your help - escort to the hospital, care, supervision will also save you from trouble.

How else to skip work and not be fired: in case of an urgent call to the repair team to eliminate an emergency - problems with gas supply, pipe break, sewer blockage.

But the installation of plastic windows or the installation of entrance doors, forcing you to skip work, will clearly anger a strict manager. If you can talk convincingly with your superiors - you're in luck.

If you have the ability to get fake certificates, don't expect to get away with it. One or two times the number may pass, but when you abuse it, the management can check the authenticity of the documents.

Reason for not showing up - what to say

Skipping, of course, is not good. But since this happens to almost everyone, let's look at the most popular reasons for not showing up for work.

Most often, workers refer to poor health, and then there is a chance for a day or two to take a break from work.

For example, you caught a cold, and in order not to infect the team, you decided to get medical treatment at home. Look for the cause of the cold, depending on the season - in winter, infection (caught from Yulia from the accounting department, picked up in a crowded trolleybus), in summer - an air conditioner or a draft.

Or a terrible migraine broke out, which will in no way give you the opportunity to fully work. Either you have a toothache - you will urgently have to visit a dentist.

The version of your food poisoning sounds convincing, because this can easily happen to anyone. They ate something like that at a party or in a cafe - and this is the result. Just sit at home for a day.

You need to call with a complaint about your poor health early in the morning - this is more convincing, the sleepy voice will look more like a sick person. In addition, you are very worried about your absence and warn about this in advance.

And you can imitate a cold by drawing in water with your nose, the illusion of a runny nose will be provided. When you return to work, continue to feign weakness, take some pills. Play a role, so it’s to the end.

Skipped work - what to do

What to do if you skipped work - write an explanatory note, and even before you are asked to present it. Describe more convincingly the reasons and circumstances of your truancy, it is better if the note is supported by some kind of papers (certificates, telegrams, letters).

For example, a telegram about the urgent arrival of relatives, you must meet and place them.

For those who work with clients, you can think of a meeting with one of the respectable people as an excuse for their truancy: they played bowling (billiards, squash) and discussed the details of the future contract.

Sometimes the banal fiction that the husband (child, mother) took both sets of keys and you could not close the apartment helps to excuse it.

Women have a very natural reason for skipping work - the critical days.

Lack of transport, accident, disaster - these are quite good reasons for not showing up to your place labor activity... In order not to be late for work as a result of such a force majeure, you decided not to come at all and work this day fully at another time.

Each person may personally need to skip the work day, but it is always better to negotiate with the management and work your hours later. Then there will be no need to puzzle over how to skip work. A little respite will help you to work with great enthusiasm later.

Take it for yourself, tell your friends!

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