Hello reader! I decided to write my next article especially for teachers so that they understand why students do not go to pairs? Indeed, such a problem exists for both contractors and state employees, and some audiences in pairs are completely empty.
What are the reasons for such omissions, and how the teacher reacts to them, let's try to figure it out together. The most important thing that is important to understand is the student's motivation, otherwise it will hardly be possible to instill in him a sense of diligence, punctuality and responsibility. So let's talk together.
Reasons for absenteeism by students
Many teachers do not want to know why a student misses pairs, and if he does not appear, they not only begin to loudly indignant in the presence of the entire group or stream, but also threaten. As a rule, these are formidable promises not to surrender the upcoming session, so you will not hear anything original at such moments.
However, this is a wrong and non-pedagogical approach to the problem, since the clarification of the relationship should proceed in a purely individual manner, and before yelling, one should understand the reasons, which, by the way, may be weighty or disrespectful.
1. Family circumstances... Sometimes in the life of a student there are things that can be settled only during educational process... Such "unexpected circumstances" can affect all areas of life and require immediate response.
Of course, in such stalemate moments it is best to find a teacher and take time off, but it often happens that every minute counts.
2. Problems on the personal front... Sometimes students skip couples due to trauma, for example, after breaking up with a lover. At such moments, it’s not like learning, eating and breathing.
Even the most diligent and responsible student can deliberately "forget" to study and spend meaningless days in mental anguish. Here, little depends on the teacher, but the help of friends and fellow students will certainly come in handy and will be needed.
3. Part-time job... Some senior students manage to earn extra money during the educational process. Such an increase in the scholarship, of course, does not hurt, but it can significantly spoil relations with principled teachers who do not agree with the systematic absence of students from their pairs, especially lectures.
The best thing to do here is to compromise, otherwise there may not be a scholarship next semester.
4. Personal irresponsibility... In this case, we are talking about student laxity and systematic truancy without a valid reason. Teachers do not like persistent troublemakers in their pairs, therefore, in this case, without visiting the university, you can not only "fly" with a scholarship, but also easily be on the verge of expulsion from the university.
So here the whole point is not in the teacher, but in the student, who must understand why he entered the university - to study or to walk. The last motivation is a failure.
5. Dislike for the teacher... There are also students who, for one reason or another, do not perceive the teacher, and the answers in a couple turn into bickering and conflicts.
This situation is unpleasant for either the student or the teacher, so the former prefers to ignore the couples. He can do this with malicious motives, in order to create trouble for the teacher in the department, but such cases in teaching practicerather, isolated.
Perhaps these are the most common reasons that hinder normal study and regular attendance at the university. It is advisable to eliminate them, otherwise the student's progress will be noticeably reduced, and promising and bright plans for life are distant.
What should a student do?
If a student is absent from couples, then the first step is to understand that this attitude towards learning will not end well with anything. He should adjust himself, and perceive the unloved teacher according to the principle: "Everything will pass, this will pass!"
You just need to be patient, try to grasp the essence of the subject and, if possible, please the unloved teacher. And how he will do it, intuition will tell. It is pointless to give any advice on this issue, since all teachers are different and each requires its own approach.
In cases where work prevents normal study, it is best to talk with the teacher about free attendance. It will be difficult to convince him, but in principle it is realistic (I know from my own experience); and most importantly - then make it clear with your knowledge, grades and general academic performance that the work did not in any way affect the interest in studies and a specific subject.
Here I will tell you my example: in order to achieve free attendance in the 5th year, I begged individual teachers almost every week. They incredulously made concessions to me, but demanding the presence of a complete summary.
It was hard, and it was possible to rewrite the "scribbles of fellow students" only on sleepless nights. But there were never any complaints, and my academic performance and the scholarship did not suffer in any way.
In cases where truancy is caused by a love drama, it is very difficult to pull yourself together and tune in to study. And getting out of depression and painful memories on your own will not be easy.
However, here friends and sports should come to the rescue, which will help switch thoughts and set up the sufferer for further study. From myself I can add: no relationship is worth higher education, so you should not give up a promising future for the sake of imperfect and doomed to failure relationships.
If family circumstances arise about your truancy, it is imperative to warn the teacher so that he does not learn such important information from third parties. In a personal conversation, you can explain everything and, as it were, ask for time off, and not confront the teacher with the fact of his absence in his subject. It is also advisable to remind of diseases, otherwise, by mistake, you can create the impression of a lax truant who ignores knowledge.
What should a teacher do?
Since I devote more to this article to teachers, I would like to talk in more detail about their behavior. Students are different, but a teacher is not just a teacher and mentor, but, above all, subtle psychologist.
That is why the issue of absenteeism must be treated with special care, so that later among students you do not get a bad reputation or some malicious nickname.
So your student is not in pairs? The first step is to write out his last name and go to the dean's office to find out if he is sick, and if he has good family circumstances.
If the reasons for the absence on couples are really good, then a serious conversation is best to temporarily postpone. But, if the teachers report that the truant attends other lectures, it's time to think.
Of course, it's not worth entering into his position, since all students know why they decided to study at the university. But again, the circumstances are different, but for a start it is recommended to send him "fiery greetings" through the headman. After that, you can wait for a groove - 2 - 3 pairs, and, if the situation does not change, transgress to more radical actions.
You can meet and stop him at recess, but it is also recommended to visit the couple where he is clearly present. In this case, one cannot do without serious conversation and warning, but still try to understand the arguments. If the reasons are disrespectful, and you are faced with the most ordinary loafers, then it will not hurt to threaten problems at the session.
When such convictions are again useless, make one last try, which, perhaps, will make him think. If not, then you can no longer worry about his fate, but ask in full during the exam.
No, I, of course, cannot teach and give recommendations to well-deserved and qualified specialists, but I am simply sure that the method of shouting and intimidation does not initially work. However, students are also people, with their own reasons and circumstances, which sometimes can be understood by an adult, even a teacher.
On the other hand, the teacher should not run after students and persuade them to attend couples, but from a purely human point of view, it will not be superfluous to ask about their academic performance.
How to officially truant couples?
So that later there are no problems with teachers for systematic absenteeism in their pairs, you can officially issue a free visit or transfer to correspondence form learning.
The first option is ideal, since the student does not lose the scholarship, maintains the duration of his studies and skillfully combines two useful things at the same time. The second option is more radical, since distance learning lasts one year more (5.5 or 6 years), is carried out exclusively on a contract basis and has a number of its own nuances. So the first option is best.
If absenteeism is reasoned, includes a certain period of time, does not require regularity, then you can write an official paper in the dean's office and sign it with the dean. But in this case, be sure to promise that all "tails" will be pulled up in a timely manner, and there will be no problems at the session.
Conclusion: From now on, neither the students nor their teachers should have any questions as to why students do not go to pairs.
I hope that all the suggested tips on the site will turn out to be informative and useful, and the attitude of the student-loafer towards learning will change as well as the attitude of teachers towards some of their careless students.
Now you know, why don't students go to pairs.
Best regards, site team website
P.S. Or maybe the students are right to not go to some pairs? Watch a video of one of the typical days of an American student :).
Question to the psychologist:
Good day. My name is Julia, I am 19 years old, I am a 1st year student of the university. Recently, I have an acute feeling that not everything is all right with me and I need help. To understand the whole situation, please read to the end.
It all started at the end of January. After the New Year, I felt that I was full of strength, that I was ready to plunge headlong into my studies, start playing sports (I even bought myself an annual subscription to a fitness center), master some new hobby, in other words, my life more or less satisfied me and I haven't experienced any problems. Everything changed when the university was quarantined, and everyone had an unscheduled 2-week rest, which seemed to me then very good news. In fact, everything turned out to be different.
These more than two (the quarantine was extended for a few more days) weeks completely unsettled me. I distinctly remember the day when I had to go to the university after a break: I just sat on my bed in the morning and cried, I realized that I didn’t just want to go to school, I was AFRAID to go to it. Yet that morning, I forced myself to get up and go to university. Every day, couples and just going out became more and more depressing and even scary thing for me, and I can't say that I just really wanted to sleep or I was lazy. The point was different, and I could not fully understand what was happening and why my attitude to school and life in general had changed so dramatically. Against the background of all this, I began to have very serious health problems, which completely ruined my life. Almost every day I experienced wild pains in my stomach, sometimes I felt sick. Because of the pains, my stomach often rumbled loudly, and therefore being in crowded but quiet places (auditorium, dining room, cinema, theater, etc.) was simply unbearable. Every time, being among a large crowd of people, I began to get terribly nervous, in pairs, it seemed that I almost fainted at all. This went on for about a couple of weeks, and by the end of February, I started skipping couples.
The days passed unbearably. I was very worried about the whole situation, I cried every-every day. I could cry at any moment, anywhere. But it's rather strange that there were rare moments when my mood just went off scale, I could chatter, laugh, even dance incessantly. Everyone asked why I was so “sausage”, and I myself did not understand what was the matter, because a couple of hours ago I was hysterical. But this did not last long, and after a couple of hours I was returning to my usual state. I had such "bouts of activity" about once a week, maybe less often.
Leaving my apartment (and even my room) was a real feat for me). I abandoned the university swimming section (which I simply adored before), fortunately, I had a certificate from the gym (which, by the way, I also did not attend - I was terribly afraid). The university hosted a lot of different events, free trainings, courses, many interesting films were shown in the cinema, but I did not want ANYTHING, I wanted to come home and go to bed. By the way, about what saved me. I found comfort and at least some joy in life in 4 things: sleep, music, food ... and alcohol. I listened to music always and everywhere, it was hardly possible to see me without headphones: I played some track and simply forgot about everything, imagined a wonderful life in which everything is fine. My imaginary world, thanks to music, replaced reality for me. Once the phone was discharged, and I woke up on some street, completely oblivious to its name, and generally not remembering how I ended up here, i.e. walked completely forgotten. With food, things were similar: I just went to the store and spent all the money I had on all sorts of tasty treats, then came home, locked myself in the room and gorged. From this, health problems became even more, there was a suspicion of gastritis. The stomach began to ache and rumble even more, which became the reason for even more frequent absences from school. In short, a vicious circle. Alcohol is a separate topic altogether. Since it all began, I became really cheerful only in moments of alcoholic intoxication: every weekend my friend and I went to a club where we got drunk to the core, got to know all sorts of men, went to them ... When the next week came, more a million hard thoughts about what I'm doing.
I gave up the couples completely. If in February and March I skipped them occasionally, a couple of times a week, one or two lectures, now I may not appear at the university for weeks, even skipping seminars. My group, probably, has already radically changed its attitude towards me, having recorded it in the category of "typical idle truant". But I'm not like that, and I know it. Before that, I just loved to study. I know that I am a rather purposeful person, that I have abilities, yes, maybe not super-fantastic, but those that helped me to enter the budget in prestigious university and even receive increased scholarship... In the first half of the year, I did not miss ANY class, I went to school with pleasure. Despite the fact that I am an introvert in life, I still somehow found a common language with people, communicated. I often met with my friends, went somewhere, now even with them I do not really want to contact (except, as I wrote above, go to a club to get drunk). She began to adore loneliness. Previously, I also liked to walk, to go somewhere alone, but recently I caught myself thinking that I want to live alone on the planet.
Because of all this, I ruined my relationship with everyone: with teachers, classmates, friends, and of course, parents. I tried to talk about my problems with mom and dad, but they start yelling that I just don't want to study. They do not believe and will never believe that I really feel bad, that I need help. In their opinion, I wind everything up. I used to think so too, but now I am beginning to be convinced of the opposite.
At the moment, my life has not changed, and it has become even worse. Everything I wrote about continues, and I can't help it. Every morning, with regular screams, my mom wakes me up for school, I get up with a face like a zombie, get ready and just go / go wherever my eyes look: anywhere, but not to study. During these months, I have visited, probably, on every street in the city and drove on almost every bus route. After the steam time, I head home, on the way having bought another ton of food, I come, eat everything and go to bed safely. About any homework there can be no question, I am even afraid to open it. Weekends are also spent in entertainment establishments that make me feel happy for a while, but I understand that this is imaginary happiness, a deception.
As for the university, while I still find the strength (both physical and moral) and the courage to come there at least for important classes and checkpoints, but soon, it seems, I will stop going to them, because of which I will lose my scholarship or I will deduct altogether.
I do not know what to do. I'm really scared. The whole situation torments me to the depths of my soul, but I can’t help myself. It gets worse and worse every day. Recent times I started reading about something similar on the internet, and all the symptoms point to a mental disorder. Before, I didn’t believe that such diseases existed, I was convinced that it’s all pretend, exaggerated, now I understand that it’s not just that ... I was the first to talk about the whole situation now, I wrote everything as it is. I just don’t know who to turn to, because I think that they will not understand me. I'm afraid to go to a psychotherapist, because I can't even imagine how he can help me. But I don’t want to leave everything idle either ... In general, I am in despair. What to do? How to change attitudes towards life? Should I contact a qualified specialist?
I apologize for such a huge text, but these are all my emotions and feelings, I tried to describe the situation in as much detail as possible. Thank you in advance.
The question is answered by the psychologist Ekaterina Aleksandrovna Sologubova.
Hello Julia! Thank you for contacting us! You ask if you need the help of a psychologist. Yes, definitely, it is necessary, because as I read your letter, I had a lot of questions, the answers to which I would not like to think out for you, and without them a reliable analysis of the situation is impossible.
So, for example, question number one is the choice of this university, to which you SUDDENLY didn’t want to go anymore, it was initiated by someone - you or your parents (this is important when analyzing your case). After all, we, adults, cannot help but understand that nothing happens just like that and that such a block that you subconsciously has arisen (and even in such a short period of time) has a clear basis. Perhaps, if the choice of the university is the initiative of your parents, and you wanted something completely different for yourself, this isolation can be a certain form of protest. And, if this is really so, then it might make sense to think about changing the university, about academic leave, about looking for a job, etc.
Question number two - how did your relationship with classmates develop before the New Year? Was there something in them that made you hide in your world, not see or hear anyone around?
Question number three: when did you first feel that you were afraid to go to college? Mentally, no matter how difficult it is, go back that day and think - what exactly scared you then - meeting with the guys, with the teachers, or even the very fact of leaving the house (a trip to the subway, public transport)? What exactly? After all, there were no problems with this before ...
And there are a lot of other questions: is there anyone among your environment who supports you, to whom you can come with your tears, experiences, to whom can you open up and trust? If there is such a person, then it is very cool, he is your resource.
In addition to eating, sleeping and drinking alcohol, do you have any other activity that brings positive emotions? For example, when you wander around the city, are there any places you want to return to, which are pleasant to visit? They can also be resource for you, you can rest in them, get a charge of energy, which is so lacking.
The position of your parents also raises the question - is it generally accepted in your family to discuss feelings and experiences of each other? I understood that they send you and the institute every day ... And if you try to talk, for example, alone with your mother from the "I-position", ie explaining to her what you are experiencing and feeling, without hysterics and mutual accusations.
Try to answer all these questions, say the answers out loud - and, perhaps, this will help to clarify something for you. But, I repeat once again, of course it is better to do this not alone, but accompanied by an experienced psychologist.
In addition to contacting a psychologist, I think that it would not be superfluous to conduct an examination, for example, by a gastroenterologist. You can do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland - sudden mood swings may be associated with a lack of iodine in the body. In order to get these and other recommendations, you first need to contact a therapist.
It is probably banal in such a situation to say that you, Julia, whole life in front and close from her into the sink is not an option, because we are all social creatures and deep understanding, knowledge of ourselves is possible only through communication with other such different and interesting people ...
As for the accusations that you address yourself, this is a road to nowhere. Try not to do those things for which you reproach yourself so much - do not go against your understanding of what is right for you and what has a place in your life.
I really want to support you and the fact that you have written this letter indicates that you are already on the path of positive changes in your life. Just do not stop ... You spoke about the readiness, in the past, to go in for sports, to master a new hobby - and maybe now return to this? Perhaps it makes sense to start swimming again, you can find a pool near your home (not necessarily at the university), etc.
Julia, I wish you an early completion of such a difficult period in your life. Respectfully yours, psychologist Sologubova Ekaterina.
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Maria Soboleva
How to skip work without unpleasant consequences?
How to skip work - well, admit it, even the most disciplined employee has such a question at least sometimes. We understand that this is not good, but we are not robots and we can afford not to show up at the workplace just once. Here are just a reason to come up with a valid and convincing.
How to skip work and not get fired
If you are fortunate enough to have loyal leadership, almost any excuse will do as an explanation for the missed work day.
In general, for absenteeism under strict bosses, any employee may well face dismissal. At best, a reprimand or a fine. So you have to think in advance how to skip work without consequences.
Absence from the workplace — most valid reasons
You can ask your superiors for an extra day of rest, or day off, in advance for working overtime or on weekends. He will not be paid, but it is quite possible to skip relatively legally. You need to warn about your intention to take time off in writing.
Another option not to show up for work for a good reason is to donate blood. Do a good deed in the morning and all day at your disposal. This, of course, is not suitable for everyone. Not everyone can become a donor for health reasons, and many of us are afraid of the procedure.
If you nevertheless decided on this option, fill out a certificate at the donor point and an official explanation of your unwillingness to work today will be provided.
Alibi will provide you with a certificate that you have visited a doctor, an entry in the outpatient card. You could feel bad and you decided to urgently visit a doctor. But you should notify your superiors about your intention to seek medical help on the day you are not at work.
A certificate of illness of a child or a relative who needs your help - escort to the hospital, care, supervision will also save you from trouble.
How else to skip work and not be fired: in case of an urgent call to the repair team to eliminate an emergency - problems with gas supply, pipe break, sewer blockage.
But the installation of plastic windows or the installation of front doors, which made you skip work, will clearly anger a strict manager. If you can talk convincingly with your superiors, you're in luck.
If you can get fake certificates, don't expect to get away with it. One or two times the number may pass, but when you abuse it, the management can verify the authenticity of the documents.
Reason for not showing up - what to say
To skip, of course, is not good. But since this happens to almost everyone, let's look at the most popular reasons for not showing up for work.
Most often, employees refer to poor health, and then there is a chance for a day or two to take a break from work.
For example, you caught a cold, and in order not to infect the team, you decided to get medical treatment at home. Look for the cause of a cold, depending on the season - in winter, infection (caught from Yulia from the accounting department, picked up in a crowded trolleybus), in summer - an air conditioner or a draft.
Or a terrible migraine broke out, which will in no way give you the opportunity to fully work. Or you have a toothache - you will urgently have to visit a dentist.
The version of your food poisoning sounds convincing, because this can easily happen to anyone. They ate something like that at a party or in a cafe - and this is the result. Just sit at home for a day.
You need to call with a complaint about your poor health early in the morning - this is more convincing, the sleepy voice will look more like a sick person. In addition, you are very worried about your absence and warn about this in advance.
And you can imitate a cold by drawing in water with your nose, the illusion of a runny nose will be provided. When you get back to work, continue to feign weakness, take some pills. Play a role, so it goes to the end
Skipped work - what to do
What to do if you skipped work - write an explanatory note, and even before you are asked to show it. Describe more convincingly the reasons and circumstances of your truancy, it is better if the note is supported by some kind of papers (certificates, telegrams, letters).
For example, a telegram about the urgent arrival of relatives, you must meet and place them.
For those who work with clients, you can think of a meeting with one of the respectable people as an excuse for their truancy: they played bowling (billiards, squash) and discussed the details of the future contract.
Sometimes the banal fiction that the husband (child, mother) took away both sets of keys and you could not close the apartment helps to excuse it.
Women have a very natural reason for skipping work - the critical days.
Lack of transport, accident, disaster - these are quite good reasons for not showing up to your place labor activity... In order not to be late for work as a result of such a force majeure, you decided not to come at all and work this day fully at another time.
Each person may personally need to skip the work day, but it is always better to negotiate with the management and work your hours later. Then there will be no need to puzzle over how to skip work. A little respite will help you work with great enthusiasm later.
Take it for yourself, tell your friends!
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Question to the psychologist:
Hello! My name is Anastasia, I am 18 years old. This year I moved from my city to St. Petersburg to go to university. Received in technical university at the hydrological faculty. In the first weeks everything went well, I went to classes, studied, managed to walk around the city. Gradually, I started skipping classes. First one lesson, then two, then a day. In November, I came to the institute only a few times. This month I came to find out what my English debts are. There are so many omissions that I can no longer count. Next week there should be tests, but my head is empty, only scraps from the first lessons. I'm afraid to go to the teachers about debts, I think they will be scolded (although I deserve it). I live in a hostel, my neighbors are freshmen of the same university, I'm fine with them. I am considering several options for which I do not go to class. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I was disappointed with the choice of the university. To be honest, I don't even know what to work with in the future. There is knowledge in Englishmaybe something from biology. I know that I am not the only one who was so mistaken that many go through this, but it does not give me an answer. I told my mother about this, and she offered to take the winter session and transfer to another faculty. I don’t tell my mother about absenteeism, because I’m afraid of her reaction, or I just don’t want to upset her. Mom lives in another city and learns about her studies only from me. The second reason is lack of rest. We did not have time to really relax in the summer, filling out the documents and sending them to different universities. But I would not consider this point. The next reason - I call it the good girl riot. When you study for 11 years in a row, without missing a lesson without a good reason, you study, being afraid of getting a C, and getting a C for yourself - all this leaves some kind of imprint. Perhaps, far from home, I feel free from obligations, because here it is, the goal is to act, it has been achieved and I must breathe freely and give up the inhibitions, which is what I do. Or maybe I'm just lazy to the point that I can only learn from under the stick? What if I have no innate gift to learn, not given? I am a little jealous of people who go to university with pleasure, who are not afraid of difficulties. I will be very grateful if someone answers my question.
The question is answered by the psychologist Mainali Larisa Valerievna.
Hello Anastasia. You have analyzed well your situation and possible reasons for which you missed classes. Yes, unfortunately, if there is no interest and emotional involvement, then this does not bring satisfaction.
I would be interested to know what you do and what do you do when you are not attending classes? What need prevails? How do you feel when you make a choice - to take a walk or go to lectures?
The fact that you escaped from parental care and control, including the grades you received at school, of course, can also cause absences, like many others. But you definitely have an “innate gift to study”, otherwise you would not be able to finish school and go to college.
It is of great importance by what criteria the university was selected? Was it your desire, or was the most important thing to do somewhere? You can spend years studying, unlearning, from under the stick, because it is necessary, or the parents want.
It is very good that my mother supports me in moving to another faculty. Take your time with the choice. Analyze, what would you be interested in? What talents and abilities have you noticed in yourself? What activities are of interest? What do you like - communicating with people, counting, writing, etc.? Read what professions exist, take tests for career guidance, and try to choose several, realistically assessing your capabilities and abilities.
I study at school, I have never had strong problems with academic performance, I get up with an alarm clock almost without problems. But after that, I start to postpone the moment of getting ready, stalling for time, distracted by anything, andwhen the time comes, and I know that if I pull myself together, I’ll be in time, but I don’t have the strength to force myself. And so I can skip 2-3 lessons. I know this is bad for me, I am ashamed, but I can’t bring myself to pull myself together. There are no problems in the family and she did not hide anything from her parents until this moment with truancy. I don’t like to learn, but I don’t hate it either. There are friends at school. I really, I have to persuade myself to go to school. Strange, but after I get ready, it’s easier for me to go to class. I used to think that it was because of the distraction in the phone, I limited myself access, but still managed to find something to distract myself and postpone the preparations by the deadlines, and then again I could not gather myself together and get dressed ...