Imagine the average person's morning. When the thunderous sound of the alarm goes off, another crazy vision breaks off at the climax. This signal is so unpleasant that it only causes body cramps. A man who has built a cocoon out of a blanket is in no hurry to get out of bed to meet a new day. By a volitional decision, he forces himself to rise and almost by touch wanders to the nightstand. There, attached to a long cable, lies the culprit of all morning troubles. Finally, the mobile phone, which so importunately imitated the sounds of the harp, was switched off. Reluctantly, the person proceeds to the usual morning procedures.
Why is the alarm not working?
We have an early rise at least 5 times a week. Why doesn't the alarm clock make us jump out of bed and start our day cheerfully? This almost hated device is capable of triggering the processes of deliberation and search for compromises in the brain. Lying in bed, we do not think about how beautiful this world is, we only weigh our chances. Can we stay in bed for another 10, 15 or 30 minutes? Maybe it’s better to devote this time to yoga classes? In the end, only the thought of a delicious breakfast and a fragrant cup of coffee can pull us out of that very cocoon.
Answer the question, why can't an alarm clock make us just get up? After all, many morning classes bring us pleasure. But instead of going out and doing all these things, we are just struggling with our condition. Then we force ourselves to take a contrast shower and turn on encouraging music. This somehow compensates for the grumpy mood. A cup of coffee is designed to overcome morning fatigue. However, science tells us that all these methods make us run in a vicious circle. Next, we'll provide readers with tactics that include simple tips to make it easier to get up in the morning. 
The importance of circadian rhythms
Our circadian rhythms inform the body when it is time to go to bed and when it is time to wake up. This is how the body reacts to the onset of complete darkness or light. The pineal gland, which is part of the endocrine system, produces the hormone melatonin, which correlates with light and darkness. In order to make it easier to fall asleep, you must adhere to some rules.
Half an hour before bedtime should be devoted to books
At the moment when the signal about the onset of darkness is received, the body needs some more time in order to reorganize into "sleep mode". It is important to spend this time (about half an hour) on relaxing procedures. Watching TV or playing video games cannot be considered as such. The flashes of bright lights that our eyes perceive can trick the brain and interfere with the production of melatonin. Scientists call reading under dim light as the best relaxing procedure. 
Alcohol and heavy meals interfere with sleep
It is a mistake to think that an alcoholic cocktail promotes falling asleep. However, this effect is only temporary. During the night, a person who has drunk alcohol before bedtime may wake up repeatedly. Drinks containing caffeine work in the same way. Avoid eating spicy foods that can cause heartburn and may cause some discomfort during the night.
If you use an electronic device to wake up, do not use the snooze function. This will eliminate the likelihood of internal debate over the recovery. Set the alarm at a respectful distance from your bed so that you won't be able to turn off the alarm button immediately.
About the dangers of gadgets
As we have already mentioned, the light that mobile phones, tablets, laptops emit simulates the glow of the sun's rays and makes our brains go astray. As a result, the body remains awake and does not produce melatonin. Therefore, to improve the quality of sleep, remove all gadgets from the bedroom. 
Start your morning with a glass of water
Earlier, we covered tips on how to fall asleep faster and improve the quality of your night's rest. However, this is not all the trick. Now is the time to talk about how to awaken properly. So, you no longer need to start your day with a cup of aromatic coffee.
Drink water first after waking up. The body must replenish the moisture reserves it has lost overnight. Remember that a person loses moisture during sleep through exhalation, through sweat, and empties his bladder in the morning. Therefore the glass is clean drinking water will be more useful than ever. Also, drinking water in the morning increases the rate of production of new muscle and blood cells.
The benefits of morning exercises
A few minutes of yoga practice should be enough to fully awaken the body. Scientists also cite evidence for the beneficial effects of exercise in the morning. With physical activity, the body increases the flow of energy, which increases adrenaline levels and body temperature. All these features have a beneficial effect on awakening. 
Expose yourself to sunlight
In the spring and summer, the problem of waking up disappears, as soon as you let the sunlight enter the room. Therefore, experts advise to hang thick night curtains on the windows in the bedroom.
Communication is, first of all, the ability to listen, and then speak. Below are tips on how to learn not just to listen to the interlocutor, but to hear what he says, to understand the meaning of his judgments. There are people with whom it is interesting to talk. It is in your hands to become one of them.
Imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor
A great way to establish contact, help a person open up and hear what he has to say is to ask him questions like this:
- "How did you do that?"
- "Why did you do it?"
- "How did you feel at the same time?"
To actively participate in the conversation and be able to respond to the words of the interlocutor with appropriate questions and comments, imagine yourself in the situation in which he is or that he describes to you. So you will experience at least a small fraction of what he experienced, and you will be able to grasp, hear the very essence, which will allow you to react correctly - so that the interlocutor wants to tell you even more.
Change the nature of your actions
Advice to those who find it difficult to listen to other people's speeches and remember what they have heard.
Why is a school lesson exactly forty-five minutes long? The attention cycle is twenty minutes. The teacher is given two minutes for the organizational moment: say hello, put things in order and start the lesson. Twenty minutes to check your homework. Twenty minutes to explain new material. Three minutes to ask homework and say goodbye. As you can see, although the lesson lasts more than twenty minutes, the attention of the children can be retained by changing the nature of the actions. First, they tune in, then answer questions, then listen, record, finally say goodbye.
A professional speaker knows about these intricacies, but life does not always confront us with the pros. How to keep attention, for example, in a two-hour monotonous lecture? Take care of yourself! Change the nature of the actions at least once every twenty minutes, unless the speaker himself suggests it. You can write something down, ask a question about the material (at least yourself, if the format does not imply a dialogue with the speaker). You can use your smartphone to find pictures on the topic and look at them while listening to a lecture. Etc.
Remember people by names and interests
Stop passively listening to the interlocutor - scratch his pride behind the ear. Memorize the people you talk to, from their names to their interests. Quit idle talk - start a strong relationship.
Here's a tip to help you remember the name of the other person. When you hear the person's name, refer to him by name. "Nice to meet you, Eliza!" or "Eliza, this is my colleague Jenna." This activates auditory memory and allows you to hear the name spoken in your voice. In parallel, you provide the other person with a small burst of dopamine.
Become a Silent Sloan
Micro-expressions disappear very quickly - in less than a second. Anything that lasts longer becomes a regular facial expression. Why is it so important? Micro-expressions (less than a second) are uncontrollable, so they give out true emotions. Facial expressions (longer than a second) can be faked, they can be fake. Therefore, you need to look at short bursts of emotion and reflex reactions in order to get the most reliable idea of \u200b\u200bthe interlocutor.
Use the LISTEN techniques
Undivided listening is not only the basis of charisma, but also the essence of communication. However, it is rare. People most often interrupt, talk for others and do not pay due attention to each other. If you are looking to connect more closely with the people you care about at work and in your private life, LISTEN (listening) can help.
L \u003d Look, Lift, Lean (look, lift and bend: show that the main priority now is the interlocutor)
I \u003d Ignore everything else (ignore everything else)
S \u003d Suspend Judgment (to abstain from judgment)
T \u003d take notes (take notes)
E \u003d empathize (empathize)
N \u003d no Buts about It (and no buts)
Perhaps the best thing you can do in our world of detachment and alienation in order to build a warm relationship is to give undivided attention. Do not skimp on it, so you learn to listen and hear.
So you've decided to learn how to program. Have you heard something about Swiftsitting late at night in a cafe, your friends are whispering about Node.jsand you wonder for weeks who she is Ruby and where you could meet her. The only thing you are sure of is that you are missing out on something big. It seems that now everyone understands programming, and you still think that CSS - this is another series about policemen.
We bring to your attention a selection of online courses that will help you get up-to-date and understand the basics of programming in different languages... Soon you will be able to talk about Pythonwithout mentioning his uncle's terrarium. The main thing is to stop, or better not to start procrastinating, then everything will work out. By the way, we have here a small selection of what to do if you suddenly realize that you are losing interest in your favorite business or are running out of time.
Sololearn
The rating system for evaluating the courses passed will motivate you to new achievements. As for the courses, on Sololearn you can learn programming in Python, C #, Java, Ruby, Swift and some other languages.
Codecademy
Code school
Coursera
Bento
Treehouse
CareerFoundry
Udacity
HTML5Rocks
The code player
Khan academy
Code avengers
Programmr
TryRuby
HacketyHack
Hexlet
Codebra
freeCodeCamp
Lynda
Stepik
HTML Academy
Russian-language platform for passing interactive online courses on web development. Over 400 free exercises and 300 thousand users.
Dedicated to a career in the study of lies, claims that even the most truthful person, when talking to a stranger, lies on average four times in ten minutes. Interestingly, when talking with relatives or close friends, we cheat even more often.
Lying can be completely harmless - saying this, we do not even notice that we are lying (for example, "you look great"). And maybe serious - when we ourselves know that time (for example, "dear, I never cheated on you").
Most of us believe that they just cannot be deceived: we always know when they lie to us. This is not true.
Lianne Brink, a psychologist at the University of California Berkeley, who studies lies, argues that it is almost impossible to understand that they are lying to you if the liar is capable. And her colleague from the University of San Francisco Paul Ekman conducted an experiment in which 15 thousand people participated. They were shown a video in which people lie and tell the truth, and asked to recognize where they were lied to. On average, less than half completed the task.
Whatever you teach your children, you yourself know very well that it is good to lie. By the way, a psychologist from the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman conducted a very interesting research and found out that the most popular children in school are those who know how to lie well - because it is interesting with them. And indeed, we all have acquaintances who cheat voluptuously, with fantasy; and even knowing in advance that they are lying, we listen to them with great pleasure. But even in essence truthful people sometimes have to lie, even though they don't like to do it.
So, let's learn. What needs to be done to make people believe in your lies?
Make a decision to lie
Weigh the pros and cons and make the final decision that you are lying. And after the decision has been made, do not doubt it anymore. Lies are very easy to identify precisely because of the inner doubts that torment the liar. Is it moral or immoral? Right or wrong? Honestly or not? It doesn't matter anymore. If you decide to lie, lie.
Weigh the possibility of failure
Before lying, think about what will happen if the truth turns out, and how likely it is at all. If you've lied about this particular topic before - and believed you - then you might be able to do the same thing again. Have you been caught in a lie by the people you plan to lie to? Are there any witnesses to the "truth" who could potentially undermine your story? And finally, what will happen if the truth is revealed. For example, if you are ten, think about why you will be punished more - for a deuce or for hiding it? If, after weighing all the circumstances, you nevertheless come to the conclusion that lying is better than telling the truth, you need to lie.
Make sure it's profitable for you
It is very important to understand why you are lying at all. What's with this?
Remember that the less often you lie, the stronger your reputation as a "truthful" person, the more you will be believed.
This means that if you do not exchange for petty lies and save this “capital” for the moment when you really need it, the effect will be stronger - no one will doubt you. In general, if you're lying, lie big.
Work through your lies
Psychologist, doctor Cynthia Cohen did the research and found out what we already knew without her: the easiest way to fall for lies is when you tell a story for the first time. If you carefully work out all the details of the lie in advance, so that you do not have to invent anything on the spot, the probability of success increases several times. You have already lied to someone on this topic - and the second time you write about the same thing much more effectively, because you have trained.
Moreover, this time you are not creating lies (using parts of the brain that are responsible for creative processes), but remembering it - that is, doing exactly the same thing that you would do when retelling a true story.
Speak the truth
The hardest thing is to identify lies, which are not really lies. The more truthful facts in your story, the more difficult it will be to convict you that you are not telling the truth. Also, truthful facts lead the listener to ask fewer questions. And the fewer questions, the less likely you will be declassified.
Know who you are lying to
The secret of a good liar is that he is very empathic. He perfectly sees and feels what is going on in the head of the one to whom he is lying. To different people different lies are suitable. Who are you going to lie to? What will he believe more? Adapt the lie to the victim.
Lie short
The story you tell should be as short as possible. Liars often fail by telling endless stories with a lot of details, because all this was thought out in advance. It is important to think through the lies to the smallest detail, but you do not need to give them all away until you are asked.
The initial lies should be as short as possible.
Start with a lie
If you need to lie to someone, do it right away. Do not start a conversation with any other topic, hoping that this will help you gather strength. Will not help. The first step is to lie, while the interlocutor has not yet looked closely at you, is not used to your gestures and does not know how to read the implications in your words. First lies - then the truth.
Bonus
A liar is often given not by words, but by actions. How to look to be believed?
1. Do not look away, but do not look directly into the pupils of the person to whom you are lying. Look at his face as a whole.
2. Smile ( scientists claim that when people tell the truth, they smile more often).
3. Watch yourself - a liar often touches his buttons, pulls his own clothes, unconsciously scratches himself.
4. Control your own voice. Since lying is an energy-intensive process and requires the concentration of too many body systems, the voice of the lying becomes colorless and monotonous (the brain has no additional reserves to unconsciously control it). Therefore, you need to do it by force.
5. Wave your arms - if you do. Lying often unconsciously limits movement and facial expressions. If you want to be believed - do not limit.
Gennady Feruzov.
How to learn to joke? A practical guide for those who want to learn not to go into their pocket for words in any situations
© Gennady Feruzov, 2017
ISBN 978-5-4485-1688-7
Powered by Ridero Intelligent Publishing System
Foreword
There is no such person who is pleased to experience such negative feelings as shyness, inferiority in any area, infringement of their interests, a feeling of inferiority. And even if one of them is pointed out to him, everything indicated, still, is not a guarantor of truth. The negative qualities described above are very often imposed on us by our environment. And sometimes we react so vulnerable to everything that we are ready to put up with this position, and continue to go with the flow, and we no longer have the opportunity to get out of this cycle, which pulls down our self-esteem. Therefore, only she affects all achievements in our life. After all, everyone wants to be needed, valuable, respected, loved, so that his word is taken into account. And, unfortunately, everything does not always work out the way we want. Most of us are just faded shadows of ourselves. Because it was not possible to reveal talents, intelligence, resourcefulness due to fear, to be ridiculed, rejected, etc.
This book was just created to solve all these problems, solving only one - to learn how to communicate with people. In it you will find how to learn how to clearly express your thoughts. How to protect yourself, in various everyday situations, from attacks or insults from the outside, without resorting to force. How to become the soul of the company and learn to joke. And also gain respect and favor, showing yourself versatile and confident in all aspects of our modern life (in public, in joke, etc.)
In this book, there are no psychological techniques and no experiments on people. I will not drive you to the streets and force you to get acquainted with them. I'm not going to make a laughing stock out of you (as in some publications). The methods described in this book are absolutely accessible, easy and simple, which is fundamentally different from other textbooks proposed in similar topics. This book will help you, as the author was helped by all his experience described in it.
Chapter 1: Introductory Monologue
Searching for an answer ………
Hello dear reader. I am very glad that my book intrigued you, since you decided to buy it. Naturally, why shouldn't I be delighted, you think, because of the unexpectedly deposited money on an electronic account, because for this reason no one has ever felt sad. But the point is not only this, I will be, sincerely, happy if, thanks to my book, we call it “a manual for sharpening the tongue”, extracting useful moments from it, the thought will come to you, how simple it is! And all that you dreamed about, namely: How to learn how to behave perfectly in society, how to feel bold, confident, how to gain independence of your views and judgments from pressure from outside and, most importantly, how to feel your own significance? You will find it here. And the faster the better.
This book is just a guide that will open your eyes to many things that you usually do not notice in everyday life.
Well, now I propose to move on to causes and effects. Find out for whom this book was written, and why. And how to work with it, that is, use it in practice?
In general, in my head, initially, philosophical thoughts arose that it would be useful to a certain circle of people, for example, those who experience discomfort in communication, as well as who are often and unreasonably inflicted moral offense, taking advantage of the fact that a person is constantly lost and therefore nothing to say in my own defense. But with my brains, I thought that this circle is easily expanding, since this "guide to sharpening the tongue" will not only help scare off your offenders, but is designed for those who just want to stand out from the crowd, showing originality, and show off their speech patterns. It will also slightly load you with humorous baggage, and will accompany your intellectual development and finally make you become an interesting person with a certain zest. That is, in principle, all the needs of people in such matters. As soon as you choose what exactly you lack and get it as long as you feel the need for it.
Well, I'll briefly tell you why I wrote it. Even in my very distant youth, I loved to analyze everything that was happening around. He paid particular attention to relationships between people. Naturally, like many teenagers, I had a bunch of complexes. I was not as strong as Ivan Ivanov, then my height did not suit me, since all the girls preferred tall ones (although, some in senior classes, I later overtook them). That, teacher, I was constantly annoyed in literature by the fact that I, you know, in her purely personal opinion, did not know how to express myself in beautiful words. In general, like most of us, it fell to me to get stuck in the so-called gray and inconspicuous mass.
Since, I did not have any special physical dignity, putting my finger to my nose, I decided to look for them in my soul. But I didn't find it either. Although, wait, I was a kind boy, responsive to help, polite with old women, helping my parents with housework. But as it seemed to me then it was all garbage. My peers will not appreciate such positive qualities. And he was right, because when we are young, we are more impressed and excited by cool images. So I imagined myself as a tough dude cutting through on a motorcycle, with a girl behind my back, in short, a kind of knight of the highway. But as they say, all dreams sometimes come true. Then I came to the conclusion that I do not want to be, like many, ordinary. I was passionate about becoming popular. I wanted to be appreciated, respected and taken seriously. To be honest, I envied the leaders. And I knew that I needed to become the same. But I didn't know where to start. I was running around bookstores, swept from the shelves books with the following logos: "Young authority", "How to learn to influence people", "From tomorrow you are a strong personality" and the like. I reread all this several times, but I never got an answer. Then he dropped it and started again. And he wondered how it happened, why some manage to easily win the favor, while others just nervously smoke in the corner in gray slippers. And when I fell in love with a classmate, but I was too shy to take any steps in her direction. Lost it. Making way for his funny and mischievous friend. Generally I lost myself, dropping my self-esteem below the water line. I felt like only a barely noticeable shadow of the image that I embodied in my dreams. So then my attempts to find a clue, how to become confident, cheerful, companionable and be successful with women did not find an answer. But I didn't give up. I decided to scientifically approach this issue that is painful for me. Taking as a basis, his scientific experience, the mental dummy of his friend and decomposing it into parts. I pictured myself as Jack the Ripper of his soul.
Spending a lot of time with my friend in the same company. I began to look closely at him. How he held up, I must say it came out great for him. He was a reference authority among us. Always, amazed, his ingenuity, sharp mind, ability to conduct a conversation. To make us laugh, to stomach cramps, was the main task of his program. And the girls just wrote with boiling water from his charisma. Once I asked him: "Listen Sanya, how do you manage to present yourself to those around you so beautifully?" To which he replied: "God knows him." Maybe it's a gift from birth. I'm just confident in myself. I feel brave wherever I am. I say that the first thing will go to my head and I don’t worry about it, so maybe my sayings at the exit turn into masterpieces ”.
Yes, of course, then it seemed to me that it was all about confidence, but how he acquired it was a mystery to me. From all the textbooks on psychology, I subtracted, and everywhere everything was the same, which really is all about this notorious confidence. And almost all textbooks had exercises on how to comprehend it. From the simplest that you need to relax, imagine yourself ala Gennady Vetrov and they say everything will go like clockwork. And then go out to the people to throw out the trick, and if the audience did not burst into applause, then the number was pierced. But do not despair, you should try again, you just did not relax enough and merged into the image of Gennady Vetrov, and so on and so forth. In short, everywhere, in my opinion, canine delirium was described. And all because no one detailed these tricks outlined how and what to do. I had a desire to throw their textbooks into the furnace. Because none of them gave me the answer.
But I continued to dig like a detective. And in the end, I found out the truth. But I realized for sure that such merry fellows as my friend themselves have no idea what the problem is. I found it. The only truth in his answer is confidence. But here's how to get to it, I will tell you in detail in the following chapters. You and my friend yourself will be taken aback by how simple everything turns out to be.
As for myself, I really became what I wanted. And even my friend after the incident of many years, now freaks out from who I have become. And now your servant, the bij I, always fits easily into any environment, is the soul of any company, and is covered with confidence in a steel tent. And you will become the same, remember.
But I didn’t explain why I still wrote my book about it. While surfing the Internet, I looked at many forums. Like learning how to communicate and not feel like an outcast. I was interested in statistics. How many people are as needy as I was in solving this painful problem. And I saw that there were simply a huge number of them. Everyone wrote almost the same way. And since the topic is quite personal. Few people will discuss it in a live conversation. It's easier for people to ask for advice on the forum, for example, writes a young girl Marina:
“Hello, I have a problem - it is difficult to communicate with people, I feel constrained in almost any society, it is very difficult to clearly and clearly convey my thoughts to others, often I just do not know what to talk about with a person, this is a terrible quality that isolates me from others ... Why is that all normal peoplewhen meeting, they can chat for hours about a variety of trifles, but I just have some kind of stupor, emptiness, often I just play the role of a listener, participating in a conversation with some kind of remarks, questions - and nothing more, I even catch myself thinking that I'm afraid to be alone on long time with a person whom I value, so as not to disappoint him, because a moment of boredom and lack of interest in the conversation will surely come. It's just awful, why communication is given to some like breathing, and to others, as some kind of daunting task that cannot be controlled and controlled and entirely depends on the mood, those rare and short-term moments when you do not feel like a passive listener with the eternal problem “oh what to say and how to be interesting ”, but you just feel freedom, lightness, ease, interest in communication and your thoughts. You know, the worst thing is to be not interesting to yourself, I often catch myself thinking about the same thing, life is very monotonous - and thoughts flow sluggishly in its rhythm, as if you are falling out of reality, it is difficult to describe this state, as if not you live, but you exist, and you just observe other people's lives, but you don't feel your own.
And I, as a "good wizard", already in my thoughts urged the answer to them. Well, girl, my advice to you is not to be very upset about this, everything is fixable and in a short time.
Or, for example, Dmitry writes:
“I have a huge problem in communicating with people, I don’t know why, but I feel withdrawn and nervous in a team, especially when I feel that they are paying attention or looking at me. Especially difficulties in communicating with girls, there is a desire to melt or sink into the ground. By the way, it is for this reason that in recent times I drink a lot of alcohol: 200 grams and no trace of my isolation remains) I don't know, in my heart I am eloquent and I can write a lot and in a variety of ways, but in live communication, i.e. in public I get lost) I’ll probably get drunk soon!
Well, for Dmitry, drunkenness is not a noble business at all, and it brings only short-term help, he does not need it. There is also a way out of his situation, which is not so damaging to health, simple to perform and not difficult to understand, described in my book.
The essence is clear, there are hundreds of them, but the solution is how to deal with it, everyone is looking for one and the most effective.
As I mentioned above that in books on psychology, and on the forums that our reader stumbles upon, they will basically drive him out into the street, into shops, public places meet, communicate with people in order to achieve this confidence. Our poor reader with stereotyped phrases will rush at people in order to get to know each other, and the result is the same - in 90% of cases he will be sent far and for a long time. And the confidence gained at the first positive attempt will melt very quickly at the unsuccessful second. There may be an effect in this, but for brave peoplewho don't care what people think of them. But in our case, most people are very vulnerable, and no one wants to expose themselves to ridicule. Also, if our reader lives in large cityThere are probably clubs or clubs that offer confidence building training. But such pleasure is usually not cheap. In addition, they have a very close program, usually covering several months, and on this stop the reader - there is nowhere else to draw your development. But confidence is such a thing that can slide downhill if it is not supported by anything. And then again courses, and the same thing. There are no courses, and confidence is gone. Then you can visit a psychologist, there you will pour out your soul and they will again give you a couple of tips (and to whom and a handful of antidepressants), relief will come for a couple of hours, but again everything will return as before, as if nothing had happened. I do not want to discourage you from attending such events. If there is an opportunity, and you have a lot of free time for health, perhaps someone really will find a sense in this. Flag how to speak to this person in the hands and fist in the teeth! But, perhaps, it will be difficult for many, and for some it will not be affordable!
That is why I wrote my book for those who find it difficult. You can take up arms against me, thinking that such a virtue as I could throw it out on the Internet for free. But understand me, when you have been looking for a long time, it is very difficult to just give everything away for nothing. And since our modern world fixated on material gain. I'm not sinless either. And I decided to make some money on this, although sometimes I repent at heart. I really long stumbled to the end result... And my passionate desire to solve the riddle is to blame. My experience and found this route to the same goal as yours, more effective. He will definitely help you. You will soon see the light and crawl out of the hole in which you slept for so long! And even if at first glance it seems difficult to get rid of all fears and complexes, having studied these processes a little more carefully, you will see how elementary everything is! Any person has a lot of talents, abilities and opportunities, we will pull them out. And forget about the discomfort, I will not kick you out into the street in search of communication, I will not force you to pounce on people. You are not a guinea pig, all you need is your attention and nothing else. I hope my friend, my book is what you need.
Chapter 2: Who Are The Wits?
You've come across them, right? So do I. We saw them anywhere, a Losers disrupting discipline on the desk, bringing teachers to psychosis, or taking as an example the courtyard gatherings of your bosom friend over a bottle of beer, suddenly began to grovel in front of the girls sitting on the nearest bench, weaving all sorts of nonsense. Or in student years, some student Vitya, an ardent admirer of the Gaza Strip, will perform the entire collection of songs of the legendary group with a masterly guitar fight with the use of profanity. And finally, nothing inconspicuous at work, chapters. bukh., but the soul and hammer of the program. A cheerful poisoner with his rude and vulgar anecdotes, a master of stories about all sorts of fables and miracles that just happen to him every day.
How so ?! Some people beautifully manage to keep the brand of a joker, while the rest can either laugh or slander about this. The only thing I can say for sure! These citizens of the merry kingdom themselves do not know how and where they got the ability to do this. But they know very well if this cannot be taken away from them, and gives them an undeniable advantage, which means that this talent must be used to the fullest.
Dear reader, if you disassemble this trait, that is, the ability to joke to pieces, this ability will consist of three actions: 1 ) how to get this ability 2) how to use 3) how to develop it even better. All of this is revealed and exposed in the following chapters. The meaning of this chapter is that no one from this category of people knows how to do this, possessing this, only the author of the book knows this (sorry for the exaggeration, I could be wrong). And to the question of why they became so, I give an answer. It's all about the confidence that builds up in a person.
Here's an example, a little boy had a big problem when shopping. Every time my mother asked for help and go to the store for bread, he unlocked to the last. But his duty to help his parents made him put up and go for bread. Convulsively opening the store door and going up to the counter, he repeated to himself several times that he would ask the saleswoman. And when that ill-fated moment came, and she asked, looking at the line, what next? He was covered with scarlet paint, and stuttering, afraid to look at the crowd lining up behind, he uttered something unintelligible. But the saleswoman's aunt in broken syllables, after asking again, finally managed to restore the parted word. And he, quickly grabbing this cog, with the speed of the wind, darted out the store door. He no longer went to that store, but went to the one that was 5 km from the house, so that he would not see his confusion and embarrassment, God forbid, some familiar boy. Well, naturally, when the kid grew up, going to the store, in which he saw the problem, disappeared by itself, as he had to do it more and more often.
So that's what I mean (why I took this kid as an example), any person feeling uncomfortable in any situation then begins to avoid such. Thinking up various fears and doubts, which he hammers into himself with a nail just with a huge sledgehammer. And, if you in childhood or adolescence have ever felt slighted, not accepted, inadequate, less beautiful, sociable, interesting, this is all because someone else could outstrip you in any way and in any way, calling you, humiliating or laughing, thereby hurting your still unformed personality. You are the victim and he is the king of the situation. You went to the side, and your opponent hit the center. And he liked this event so much that he was in the center. That I tried to repeat it as often as possible, but with others. And if there were no strong rivals on his way, he became more and more confident. And the more confidence, the more freedom in behavior and manner of communication. You sometimes noticed that where we are calm and happy, where we are with pleasant people who will never laugh at us, there is always a topic to talk about. So for the wits, confidence became the key to success! For them in any society it is always calm, because they are used to constantly gathering someone around them.
Therefore, our young authorities begin to accumulate the first signs of their exclusiveness, to grow into a circle of admirers or envious people, not yet very far from the pot. Then there will be a school, an institute, where he will hone his superiority, or, on the contrary, dissolve against the background of the rest. Everything will depend on whether there are stronger competitors with more pronounced merits or whether it will be the best. In any case, all this has been formed in a person over the years, and you and I do not have much time to get the same result.
Chapter 3: How to become the same, or better surpass!
1. The root cause of failure
To stay well in society, you just need to use a few simple and simple rules... To begin with, take a closer look at yourself, and then tell yourself so that you would like to correct in your behavior. Close your eyes for a minute and imagine that you are in the center of attention among acquaintances, friends, or just people you would like to impress. How did you feel? Most likely, this is discomfort? Shivers run down your spine with excitement, you feel embarrassment or trembling in your knees. You have nothing to say. And, are you afraid to seem either funny, or stupid or boring? Would you like to leave this "terrible bunch" as soon as possible? Because, my friend, I am not ready for such a turn. You dream of going to a far corner to disguise your lack of self-confidence, right? Calm down, stop the panic, because this is all just your sick imagination. Come back to reality. And now proceed to the analysis. The bulk of people experiencing nervousness in such moments, believing that they are poorly versed in some topics of the conversation, they do not understand something, they have little vocabulary to clearly convey your thought, expressed aloud, to others. They are afraid to say something stupid, which will be laughed at, assessed as a remark of a narrow-minded person whose lot is to stand on the sidelines imperceptibly and not interfere with a conversation with his stupid inserts if he has no idea and knowledge of the essence of the issue under discussion.