If you are being asked more and more often why you are silent all the time, you urgently need to change something in life. But how can you become an outgoing and interesting person if you are naturally shy and shy? Finding a topic for conversation is a real challenge for you, and speaking first with a stranger is beyond your strength. What to do? How to Become Easy to Communicate? Start changing now.
Why are there difficulties in communication?
There are several reasons why people become withdrawn and silent:
- Wrong upbringing. Someone coined the term natural shyness, and they began to cover up all existing problems. However, people are social beings. Exchange of information is the most important "weapon" in the struggle for survival. Human psychology is such that he is interested in everything new and unusual. People’s interest in news is caused by a subconscious desire to learn a lesson for themselves in case this happens to them. Therefore, by nature, all people are sociable to a greater or lesser extent. However, upbringing and negative experience of socialization makes its own adjustments. If the parents led a closed or asocial lifestyle, the child simply does not have a model of interaction with other people, that is, he did not learn to be friendly and communicate normally. In childhood, these problems may not be as pronounced as other children will be drawn into the conversation. But with age, when the initiative will have to come from the person himself, communication problems can manifest themselves.
- Negative experience. Often, older children or adolescents close their mouths so as not to interfere. Peers can tease with offensive nicknames. Sometimes an adult begins to be bullied by others, expressing doubts about his competence or intellectual development. And how to become an open and sociable person in this situation? Usually such a person becomes isolated and even communication with well-disposed people is given to him more and more difficult. He is embarrassed to speak up.
- Low level of intelligence. Than fewer people knows, the fewer subjects he has for discussion and communication, the narrower the circle of people ready to conduct a dialogue with him. Sociable people are aware of all events and news.
- Character traits. It may seem that this point contradicts the above. Not at all. There are people whose need for communication is lower than the rest. Both the introvert and the phlegmatic person need less communication than the same extrovert. The main difference between an introvert and a shy one is that the first one is not at all shy, and he has no problems in communication. If desired, he easily finds a common language with unfamiliar people, does not feel oppressed in someone else's company and is not burdened by the lack of a topic for conversation, being left alone with someone. This is what distinguishes him from a closed person. It is the latter who should change his character and become more open to people.
- Self-dissatisfaction and embarrassment. These traits interfere with the establishment of any social relations. Hinder friendship, career, love. How can an insecure person become more fun and sociable? Only by increasing your self-esteem and self-esteem. Find the best in yourself and develop those traits. Tell yourself, "That's it, I'm getting confident, fun and interesting." And good luck!
How to develop communication skills?
It should be remembered that sociability or sociability is not so much a character trait as a skill. And here the same laws of development operate as with any other skill. If you have spent your whole life at the computer, it is possible that you will fall out of the race in running competitions. However, the situation will change if you train daily for a long time by running. If you don't train your memory, you will soon be unable to remember a piece of the most banal text. The same goes for communication.
A sociable person is in constant contact with others. But having once become a hermit, you will not be able to suddenly return to society and be a ringleader. However, daily communication will greatly improve your communication skills. How to become talkative? Where to begin? From the simplest:
- Greet your neighbors, ask them how they are, how are their children, parents' health, what is new in their life. In no case do not allow yourself to be drawn into intrigues, do not support or spread gossip. This can push people away from you, and you will find yourself farther from the goal than when you were a hermit.
- The next step in how to develop your sociability is simple. Talk to strangers: in line, at bus stops, with sellers. Do not be shy! In the market, you can ask if trading is going well. At the bus stop, how long has the minibus you needed been. Complain that public transport began to walk worse, or to be glad that the situation on the roads has improved. It's good to remember a story from life, for example, how a person sued a transport company for lack of air conditioning. In the queue to see a doctor, you can talk about the pros and cons of paid and free clinics, tell something interesting about foreign medicine (after having studied the question). However, you should not speak negatively about your doctor and talk about your sores. Such people are not liked.
- Many trainings on the topic “How to become a sociable person” suggest talking to passers-by on the street. Create a non-existent poll. For example, how do people feel about neutering stray animals. Or should I be allowed to adopt children? foreign citizens... Choose any relevant topic from the news and monitor public opinion... If you don't hear a single topic for a survey, browse the Internet and select a topic from surveys conducted by professional journalists. Be sure to ask the person why they hold this opinion. Try to give your arguments. This is the simplest recipe for how to become more sociable and make friends easily.
You need to train your communication skills daily. And after some time you will understand how to be relaxed, friendly and sociable in any company.
Versatile conversation topics
How to become easier to communicate and be an interesting conversationalist? To do this, you need to work hard. First, decide on the topics that are close to you.
For example, animals. Almost everyone loves them. Even if you come across someone who hates animals, you will have something to argue about. Start collecting interesting Facts about animals, anecdotes and tales. This will help you come across as fun and stop being shy. Study the opinions of animal rights activists and their opponents. Watch discussion programs. They will help you figure out how to be a good conversationalist.
It is important for you not to become a walking encyclopedia, periodically giving out scattered information. To be interesting, you need to involve others in the conversation. A sociable person always seeks to involve others in a discussion. Therefore, the approach even to such a simple topic should be versatile. It can be viewed through the prism of psychology. For example, discuss a person who, being angry with his wife, surreptitiously kicks her cat. Raise social issues such as dog-hunting or grannies with dozens of half-hungry cats, etc. You can present this topic with a humorous "sauce". Only a variety of angles will help you retain the attention of your interlocutors and become more talkative.
Here's 1 more example of how to develop sociability using a common theme. Health is a universal topic. You can talk with young people about healthy nutrition, vitamins and antivitamins, with representatives of the older generation - about herbal medicine. Study the issue comprehensively. It's not enough to know that chamomile is brewed for coughing. Any coin has two sides. Herbs have benefits, but there are contraindications. There are often cases when the ambulance did not have time to save people after their harmless herbal teas. Study such cases. Take an interest in newfangled diets, their reverse side, uncontrolled intake of hormones and anabolic steroids. Tell us about it. However, be wary of becoming a debater.
Expand your social circle
If you don't have a hobby, you need to start one. For example, you can become a cactusist, grow outdoor flowers, play sports, cook, eat food, design, photography, or make furniture and toys for animals. This will help you become useful. You can share information with your friends and give practical advice. Useful information everyone loves, even those who will never use it. Plus, as you master a new activity, you'll make new friends.
Communicate on thematic forums. These can be forums for fans of fantasy series, computer games, romance novels, or fans of robotics. Study the opinions of people on various issues, learn to express your point of view with arguments. Forums are a good trainer of communication skills. There you will have no choice but to become a sociable girl or guy. The disadvantage of virtual communication is that it can tear away from the real. To prevent this from happening, discuss what you found in the virtual space and in person with your friends.
Still not sure how to become outgoing and confident? Join an organization. This can be a volunteer organization, a thrill-seekers club, a house committee. Sign up for driving courses, foreign language or trainings. Any community is people connected by a common cause. Common goals and interests always rally, and where there are common interests, communication is easy and effortless.
Communication errors
To understand how to become more sociable, but not overdo it and not alienate your interlocutors, consider the following mistakes. Think about which people you don't like the most? Most likely, so-called professional mothers, cat lovers and sectarians will fall into this category. Why? Because their horizons are either limited or temporarily narrowed down to one topic.
Are you a young mom and don't know how to become more outgoing? Don't get hung up on children's topics. There are many more subjects of conversation that interest you, which you simply forgot about:
- There are people who gush out with humor. Anecdotes and tales pour out of them to the place and out of place. At first, these people are interesting, but very quickly become annoying. Developing a sense of humor is essential. But the main rule of its use is appropriateness. An anecdote on the topic is your plus, endless anecdotes indiscriminately are a minus. Ask how to be fun? Parry the other person's jokes. Cheerful and harmless verbal duels amuse the company.
- Nobody likes to communicate with eternal whiners. A positive-minded person evokes sympathy and respect. He is always a welcome companion. However, there are people who can make an annoying factor even out of this positive quality. Smiling is a sign of affection. However, the eternal smile is perplexing. If a person is faced with an important life question, and he expects empathy from you, and instead you will happily answer: "Don't drift, everything will be fine." This will be disappointing. It is not enough to tell a person that everything will be fine, you need to convince him of this, express words of support and empathy. And only then give out positive.
- It happens that a woman who used to be ashamed of people, not knowing how to learn to be relaxed and talkative, begins to fawn and lisp with everyone. She is sure that this is the only way to please. However, this is annoying. Even the most sociable person who lavishes sugary sweet speeches, laced with a sea of \u200b\u200bcompliments to each and every one, will be poorly received by society.
- When communicating with people, do not seek to lower them to your level. For example, it is not permissible to use affectionate nicknames for unfamiliar people or those who are higher than you in the hierarchical ladder. Respect people and they will respect you.
The recipe for becoming a master of communication is simple. Broaden your horizons, carry new information, become useful, develop a sense of humor, take an interest in the life of the interlocutor, let people speak up, do not try to pull the blanket over yourself. Avoid being familiar, intrusive, and boring. And you will always be welcome in any company.
Alas, our life is not a movie. After an unsuccessful conversation or a quarrel, you cannot rewind the tape, see what went wrong, and maybe even fix something. Therefore, especially in communication with close people, it is always worth thinking about where our words and actions lead us. The impressions that we leave about ourselves in the memory of a person will be almost impossible to change or rewrite (especially if the impression is negative).
Relationship psychology - individual science. You cannot align everyone to the same level, pick up one set of rules and learn to communicate with everyone in the same way. Ideally, when both partners are open, take into account each other's interests and can calmly say what they like and what they don't. But this rarely happens.
The opposite is often the case. Through the veil of love or charm, one of the partners does not notice how he is losing himself. Falls under the influence of the strong personality of the partner and dissolves in it. Why it happens? - there can be many reasons. Perhaps they loved little in childhood, or maybe the old relationship left a wound and now I want someone to console.
For a strong partner, this is a signal that he can easily take advantage of the position and establish his own rules in the relationship. He will start with small things - like non-fundamental questions, about which there is no point in arguing. But over time, there are so many rules, conditions and orders that they simply “strangle” and restrict at every step. Then the period of misunderstanding and quarrels will begin. The period when it seems that no amount of relationship psychology will help you learn to communicate easily. Yes, the time for establishing comfortable rules in the relationship has been lost, but it has not yet been lost forever.
How to learn to communicate easily and confidently, not only in a relationship with a man, but also in everyday life... Relationship psychology will help you in this matter. Remember that always the rules of communication must be established from the first minutes of any relationship. Don't waste this precious time at the beginning of your conversation, hoping that you can catch up later. If you allow the other person to set rules that limit you, it will be difficult to change something. Because your partner will struggle to resist change - he is fine with everything, unlike you.
And so, what rules are always worth remembering in any relationship so that communication develops easily:
- Don't get lost in your partner. Your "want" is also important and your interests should not be relegated to the background. Better seek compromises.
- Don't let your personal boundaries be violated. Relationships should be open, but everyone has their own little secrets. Anyone needs personal space. And it is better to warn about this in advance.
- Do not manipulate your partner or allow yourself to be manipulated. All decisions should suit both parties, only then it will be a compromise. If one gets "everything" and the other gets nothing, sooner or later this situation will end in a serious conflict.
- Your relationship should have a purpose.For example, it can be communication and friendship, starting a family, just having a good time together, etc. If you understand that you and your partner have different goals, either look for a way to combine them into one, or change the goal, or change the partner. In any case, do not remain silent and do not expect that everything will work out by itself.
- Relationship psychology is the psychology of happiness. You should bring joy to each other, not disappointment. Neither sadness nor discouragement should cloud your communication.
- The degree of openness is a personal decision. If you yourself have decided to push your boundaries, then do not expect this from your partner. He himself decides when and to whom to open up to him. Instead, discuss the degree of openness so that you can understand exactly what your partner is thinking.
- Remember that there is a person next to you too. And he may simply not be in the mood or have a different opinion, or he may just be tired. Better instead of blaming, find out if everything is in order. It happens that a catastrophe is only far-fetched by you. Save the question for later.
Of course, there are many more rules. Relationship psychology is not built on clear terms. It is important to listen to your partner and yourself, to find common ground for your interests. Find solutions that work for both. After all, your task is not only to learn to communicate, but also to be happy.
Don't be afraid to rewind the tape of your past relationship in your head. It is easier to build the future on the mistakes of the past.
More than half of the inhabitants of the planet Earth experience communication difficulties. This is an incredible fact. It would seem that the 21st century is in the yard and people have long learned to freely communicate with each other. But no, on the contrary, more and more individuals withdraw into themselves, close themselves off from others. Maybe this is because man is still a part of the animal world? And like any other animal, it instinctively fears strangers. On the other hand, man is a social being. Living within society and communicating with its members - isn't this the natural essence of each of us?
Undoubtedly, each person has a certain social circle: these are his relatives, friends, acquaintances. But not everyone understands that a circle is a closed space, the limit of its relationship. We are afraid to go beyond this circle. Often, the mere thought of possible contact with a stranger leads us into complete confusion, bordering on confusion. Fear prevents communication with other people, the development of friendships outside the circle, in fact, limits our social opportunities.
Be that as it may, you must be able to communicate. Communication can be learned. Learn, not only to overcome the fear of communicating with strangers, but also to benefit and pleasure from it.
For the successful development of communication skills, it is necessary to go through several initial stages. First, comprehend the benefits of communication. Secondly, learn not to be afraid of misunderstandings, refusals or conflict situations... Third, start destroying your fears empirically... After all, everything comes to a person with experience.
To start a conversation with a stranger, first, you need to change the course of your thoughts. An outsider is a person from the outside, outside your circle. But this does not mean at all that he is your enemy and you should be afraid of him. You just have to overcome the fear and start communication, you will make sure that people are open and friendly. They are ready to accept you into their community and interact with you.
How much useful dialogue can be learned! Communication means not only fun to pass the time, but also exchange information, develop your social skills. By communicating, you can acquire business contacts, patrons, teachers. And you can achieve something more valuable: friendship, love, a new family ... It is difficult to argue with such arguments.
Appropriate response to rejection.
Once you've mastered the benefits of interacting with strangers, it's worth learning the appropriate rejection response.
It often happens that after a sudden refusal or a rude answer, you try to gradually restore the moments of the conversation. Literally engage in self-criticism, trying to figure out what you did wrong. But do not worry and think that you are not coping if the interlocutor refused you, was rude, or even directly ignored. Perhaps your opponent was not in the mood, feeling bad, or just busy. In most cases, the negative reaction does not go to a specific person, but simply to an external stimulus. To be acutely aware of such behavior is to feel insecure. Uncertainty is not the best help in the art of communication.
It also happens that you or your rash remark really caused a negative reaction. And in such a situation, you should not take refusal to heart, because negative experience is also an experience. Try to better simulate the possible course of action, in order to avoid similar mistakes in the future. Analyze your behavior and appearance: what could alienate you? Having made the appropriate conclusions, strive for self-improvement, work on yourself. The main thing is not to "get hung up", otherwise you will again come to fear and uncertainty.
It is common knowledge that it is difficult not to do, but difficult to start. In a situation where you need to talk to people, and even more so to strangers, this moment is especially important. When trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, do not think about how ridiculous you may look and how you would not "blurt out something." Stay calm and confident. Self-confidence always makes the right impression on the interlocutor.
Assertiveness in the speech of an inept opponent does not always sound pleasant. Therefore, if you have a closed character by nature, do not try to take impudently, it will look unnatural.
Try to start with non-verbal communication... By looking into the eyes, smiling at the person, or simply raising your hand, you let him know that you want to talk.
It is not always possible to think over words and a topic in advance. In such cases, in order to strike up a conversation, you can make a compliment, express your opinion on any interesting matter. The conversation may start by itself if you spot someone's work, share someone else's opinion, or just compliment their looks.
Nothing is more conducive to conversation than a positive attitude and a good sense of humor. Tell a joke or joke. Amuse the interlocutor with an incident from life, and you will see that the response story will not keep you waiting.
It is important that in a conversation you not only listen to the person, but also be heard. It is necessary to go beyond the circle of acquaintances, to make communication limitless. Conquer your shyness and try to take the first step to build contact. And skill will come with experience.
You can develop good practical communication skills during training or at an individual consultation with a psychologist. Sometimes even a one-time consultation gives powerful development and removes the root cause of the difficulties that have arisen. Call.
Many people are familiar with the concept of self-discovery. After any awkward situation or after a conversation with someone, a person involuntarily begins to think: "What would happen if I answered differently?" or "How would it be now if I took a chance then and still did it?" At least once in his life, everyone asked himself such a question, but if such thoughts visit you constantly, then this is already abnormal and can adversely affect both physical and mental health. In this case, it is worth thinking about how to learn how to relate easily to life. In this article, we'll look at a few tips to help you get rid of self-delusion and enjoy every minute of your life.
As a rule, it is girls who are more inclined to self-delusion. It is unlikely that you will meet a young man who will sit and discuss with friends what he did, how he did, why and what would have happened if he had acted differently. Therefore, it is the girls who are more in need of advice that will help to perceive the life around them as it is, and not to think about the topic “If only if only”.
The first step is to realize that there are things in life that have happened, are happening and will continue to happen regardless of whether you want it or not. Such events include, for example, death. And the advice of friends like "Forget it!", "Everything will pass!", "Don't pay attention to it" will not work here. Each person himself must realize that he is not able to change anything and that what happened should have happened. And then it will be easier for you to accept what happened and the question "How to be easier?" will disappear by itself.
To make life easier, it is very important not to be nervous for no reason and not attach great importance to minor problems and troubles. IN modern world so much is happening that it is simply unreasonable to waste your nerves and time on trifling events and minor failures. In this case, it is important to simply accept what happened and learn from it a lesson that will help you avoid the same mistakes in the future. In search of an answer to the question "How to become simpler?" it is important to treat everything in life in a philosophical way.
Many people often hear the phrase “keep it simple”, but what does it really mean? For different people accepted varying degrees of this very "simpler". For a famous movie star, this means having dinner at a regular cafe, for a popular millionaire, putting on regular clothes and walking around the city instead of driving in an expensive car. Therefore, when you hear the famous phrase “be simple, and people will reach out to you,” the question involuntarily arises: how to become a simple and open person, to whom everyone is drawn? Indeed, often people who say this phrase do not give any advice on how exactly to do it.
"No" arrogance
As a rule, to become that standard of "simplicity", you just need to get rid of your arrogance. Every girl, when thinking about how to become simple, should also think about her pride. Very often this is the reason why you are advised to keep it simple. If you really noticed a sin in the form of excessive arrogance, then you should just distract yourself a little from your person and devote time to the people around you. Learn to think about, compassion and empathize with others.
But be sure to consider who exactly wants to make it easier for you. If these are not the most worthy of imitation people, then it is better to remain with your opinion and with your so-called pride. Maybe these people are just jealous of you, so carefully filter the various "well-wishers".
Friendliness and sociability are your best friends.
Many people mean by “simplicity” kindness, sociability and openness. This situation is radically different from the previous one. In this case, it is about people who are closed and closed in themselves, and not proud and self-confident. It is not always possible to immediately understand how to be common manthat everyone is drawn to. Try to make new acquaintances and communicate more with others. Indecision and self-doubt often turn people off. Perhaps by becoming more outgoing and open-minded, you will reach that very desired level of "simplicity."
Loving yourself means treating others well.
Compliance with this point is the main criterion in finding an answer to the question: "How to become a simple person?" And in fact it is very difficult, especially for born proud people who do not think about anyone but themselves. Not everyone can do good deeds, but everyone can try not to do anything bad. Treat people the way you would like them to treat you. This proverb comes in handy. After all, not a single person will do something to the detriment of himself, so why do many allow themselves to do unpleasant things in relation to others?
Being yourself means being happier
Before you learn how to become simple, it's important to think about what makes you happy. Maybe your work does not bring you pleasure, and you love writing poetry or caring for plants in the country. Or do you like to dance, sing, paint. Just do what you enjoy more often, because then you will feel happier. In moments of joy, you will want to make everyone around you happy, and this is what will make you a simple and open person.
Following these tips will make you self-confident, teach you to look positively at the world and everything that happens in it. Then you will become a truly kind, open and simple person, to whom others will be drawn.
Many children are taught from childhood to behave in such a way that their behavior is approved by those around them. And this is the mistake of many parents. They attach too much importance to public opinion.
Of course, relatives and friends criticize us only with good intentions, but not everyone is able to accept and objectively evaluate this criticism. Therefore, most likely, it will bring a person more harm than good. Listen to the advice and recommendations of your family, but do what your heart tells you. After all, it never makes mistakes. Act honestly, be sincere and open, because this is the very simplicity that everyone strives for.
Remember that no one knows your positive and negative sides as well as you do. And if you really are thinking about how to become simple, do not waste time thinking about what your friend said out of envy or your mom blurted out in a fit of anger. Do not be offended by loved ones, always think that they still wish you well in any situation. And do not make life difficult for yourself and for them because of a few offensive phrases.
Do you really need attention to detail?
As you ask yourself the question “How to become simple and open?”, Think about how much time you spend on something that is, in fact, unworthy and minutes of your life. Attention to detail is necessary only in work, but in all life situations it will only bring you problems. Thus, you simply complicate your life with various rules and conditions that would not exist if you accepted everything that happens as it is. You don't need to scroll through the events in your head, think over all the little things and think about how you could act in this or that situation. Believe me, this will not lead to anything good. Just enjoy life, do what you like, become happier and make everyone around you happy.
Dispute between mind and heart
Very often, many girls are faced with situations where the heart tells one thing, but common sense and experience speak about another. Almost always, such a dispute between mind and heart arises from the constant analysis and reflection of the situation. You try to take into account all the little things so as not to miss anything, and in the end you miss something very important. Sometimes it's worth listening to your heart and intuition, taking a chance and, perhaps, finding the greatest happiness in life. You do not need to listen to the advice of others and do as they think is right if you feel that you do not want to. There is nothing worse than regretting something you didn't do. Follow your desires, be happy, and you will not notice how you will become the very ideal of simplicity that everyone is drawn to.
Being an outsider among normal conversationalists is unbearable. The fear of communication does not allow to take place either in a couple, not at work, or among friends. But do not rush to despair ...
There is a pause. Only a confused, stupid smile can be squeezed out of myself. Awkward silence outside and chaos in my head: how to talk, what to talk about ?! so as not to seem ridiculous, intrusive, stupid, funny? From these thoughts you get even more lost. The head becomes completely empty. And the thread of the conversation has already gone - to those who are able to support him.
Being an outsider among normal conversationalists is unbearable. The fear of communication does not allow to take place either in a couple, not at work, or among friends. But don't be in a hurry to despair. The training "System-vector psychology" provides a unique ability to communicate with people easily.
I can't communicate with people: what is the reason?
The main reason why effective communication fails is:
Instead of focusing on the interlocutor, the person is immersed in his thoughts and states, in doubts or fears.
This prevents you from really getting involved in the conversation. Be sincerely interested in the interlocutor, tune in to his wave. The head is occupied exclusively with its "thought mixer".
Our internal states interfere with communication:
fear
It happens that it's not clear why, but it's still scary. What if people will be bored and uninteresting with me? What if I seem funny, stupid, ugly to someone? See, two are whispering about something, giggling? They are about me, I know for sure. You ought to move to that dark corner, away from your eyes, otherwise it’s like on an X-ray.
stupor
doubt and uncertainty
How to learn to communicate without fear
Strong fear, anxiety, phobias and even panic attacks are familiar only to owners. These are people with a huge emotional range. Their mood can change in a short time: from euphoria of happiness to bottomless melancholy. At the root of this special emotional susceptibility lies an innate fear of death.
When a person is locked in fear for himself, his safety (physical or psychological) - all thoughts revolve around this. Possessing a rich imagination, the spectator can even think of something that does not exist at all. For example, that everyone is whispering about him, they laugh at him.
The problem is that our condition is unconsciously captured by others through pheromones. And this smell cannot be controlled deliberately. No perfume will clog it - it will only strengthen it. When we smell of fear, we literally attract those who can humiliate or ridicule.
For this reason, the owners of the cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors from childhood can become a victim, on which the whole class dumps hostility and aggression. Over the years, this scenario has become familiar. And with any attention to your address, everything inside shrinks with fear: now they will be beaten. Not with fists, but with words. To humiliate and ridicule. What is the right way to talk to people in order to get rid of this fear and feel safe? To begin with, balance your inner state.
When the owner of the visual vector manages to focus on the emotions and states of others, the fear for oneself disappears. You've probably noticed that when you empathize with loved ones or friends, your own pain and fear recede. Joy and delight appear. Because we managed to support the other, to share his feelings with him. At such a moment, the question does not arise of how to learn to communicate easily with people. Everything is so easy and natural. There is a reason for this: the ability for empathy and compassion is the special talent of fine-feeling spectators.
When realizing visual talent - the talent to establish emotional connections with people - the entire range of fear turns into a great love for people. In sympathy and active help.
Our states are instantly captured by others through pheromones. Realizing his talent, the visual person no longer "smells" of fear and does not cause anyone to want to cause damage. On the contrary, he himself becomes an object of universal love, attraction and admiration.
How to communicate with people correctly: psychology for a perfectionist
There are people among us who would like to know the exact rules of the psychology of communication. Because it's scary to make a mistake. To say something out of place, to be in a mess, to disgrace. It is better to ask a psychologist for advice once again than to blush in front of people. One problem: you won't be able to hire a psychologist for every meeting (and even more so for a date). You need an independent skill of communicating with people.
The desire to do everything perfectly, without errors and mistakes is a property of people with an anal vector. They are natural perfectionists, aimed at respect and honor in society. The opinion of those around them is not an empty phrase, but an indicator of their own solvency. It is painful even to think that you will disgrace yourself and look like a fool.
An analytical mind allows such a person to generalize and systematize information. A phenomenal memory stores every detail and detail. When these natural talents are realized in the profession, we see an expert, a professional. Such a person is aimed at finding the slightest error, doing the job perfectly accurately. But when their talents fail to find social use, they become a source of big problems.
When the tendency to generalize is misused, we generalize our bad experiences. Having experienced betrayal - we see a potential traitor in everyone. Once offended in a pair relationship - we are offended by the entire opposite sex. Phenomenal memory constantly slips memories of the past shame and causes fear of a repetition of the situation. Especially if even in childhood we were constantly cut off in mid-sentence and considered "mumble".
I want to communicate with people - but I can't. No amount of self-improvement and psychology in exercises and meditation helps. On the psyche hang such pood weights that do not allow to take place among people. Being natural couch potatoes, in such a situation, they simply stop leaving the house.
Awareness of their mental properties and the ability to implement them for their intended purpose will remove the huge burden of internal dissatisfaction. Then there will be no need to perceive the interlocutors as "confirmation" of their accumulated grievances and bad experiences. Communication with other people will become an easy and natural process.
Training on communication with people for aliens "out of this world"
It happens that ordinary conversations in a company are alien to a person. He perceives them simply as a mouse fuss around meaningless things. And it is not surprising: his thoughts are not occupied by material issues at all. The owner is by nature striving towards knowledge of the metaphysical, spiritual - the meaning of life, the purpose of man. He often does not even realize what he is striving for, simply feeling the need to look for something more.
For a sound engineer, communicative interaction with others is valuable if he can find like-minded people, “brothers in mind” who are also striving to comprehend the spiritual. In other cases, a person gradually closes in on himself, stops making contact.
Sometimes the sound engineer has a special problem in communicating his unusual thoughts to people. Everything in my head sounds harmonious and consistent. And when trying to voice an idea, some unintelligible, torn fragments come out. The sound engineer is so immersed in his thoughts and states that he is not ready to explain to others what is extremely clear to him.
The soundman is a natural egocentric. However, the ability to communicate adequately is a matter of good fortune for such a person. When he manages to realize himself in society, we see a brilliant scientist, programmer, musician. If not, depressive states gradually appear, suicidal thoughts come. In order not to experience difficulties in communication, the sound engineer needs to get out of the shell of his own thoughts, and this is possible only by being aware of those unconscious processes that drive us.
Modern people are multi-vector. Interference in communication can be complex and have causes in different vectors and properties of the human psyche. solves psychological problems of any complexity. Give yourself a chance to see this from personal experience.
Here is what people say about this who, with the help of Yuri Burlan's training, completely get rid of the fear of communication:
“The process of interacting with people has reached a completely different level. It became interesting for me to communicate. I noticed that I was running towards people. That I have a joyful anticipation of communicating with other people. The interaction process became so simple and harmonious that I could not believe in this miracle ... "
“Interest and desire for communication has returned. In the past few years, I was a little burdened by society, it was boring and uninteresting, I strove for loneliness. I preferred books, drawing, yoga to live communication ... naturally realizing that this is not very ... "
The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»