Women usually don't like pedantic men. And very much even. But not because men love accuracy and order, and women hate all this. The reason is completely different ...
What is the meaning of the word pedantry?
Accuracy, thoroughness in performing the assigned work, the ability to keep one's word, commitment, responsibility, punctuality - all these are wonderful human qualities that can only be applauded while standing. All these qualities are characteristic of pedants, like no one else. But why does the word "pedantry" carry, if not a negative connotation, then clearly not a positive meaning?
What does pedantry mean in life?
Encyclopedists of the past, the notorious Brockhaus and Efron, gave a conclusion to pedantry, as a phenomenon that occurs in various areas of life, but most of all in a scientist and teaching activities... Even then, the word "pedant" carried an unkind connotation. A pedant was considered a person who missed content because of the form, or rather, because of its strict observance. This form has become obsolete, it has become a brake, it does not matter yesterday. It is important to observe it. A person who so zealously maintains the usual order even in small things - and closes in on them. There is no development and cannot be. Movement too.
Very bad!
And what about pedantic teachers? This is a scourge! It is because of them that aversion to learning arises. Dead formalism - what could be worse in a person? Moreover, in any: a teacher, an official, an ordinary employee, or just a husband.
Pedants are extremely petty. That's what annoys them the most. And the line between thoroughness and accuracy and LITTLE (excessive) thoroughness and accuracy is extremely small and invisible. It is because of this pettiness that women do not like pedants-men.
Pedantry is a characteristic feature of a fairly large number of men. Pedantry is also found in women. If a pedant is a woman, this is, in general, a complete kirdyk. They shy away from her as from the plague, but she sincerely believes that she is "not understood." A pedantic man doesn't have to have a bad temper. A pedantic woman always has a bad character ...
Pedantry in its desire to observe the established order in all the details and trifles can develop into such painful ones as litigation, blaming everything and everyone, which, in turn, leads to a change in emotional tone. A cheerful person becomes gloomy, agile - slow, talkative - silent. It is no coincidence that many mentally abnormal people clearly show many traits inherent in pedants.
So it's good if every thing has its place. But if they took it, used it and didn’t put it back where they took it, the event is not at all universal or world-wide, but a small detail, on which to spit and grind ...
The term "pedant" came to us from latin, in translation it means a mentor or educator. That is, a pedant is a synonym for the word "teacher". Initially, the meaning of this term paints the image of a strict mentor who is scrupulous about his duties and the behavior of others. How do we see a pedant today? What character traits prevail among pedantic personalities?
Who is a pedant
Today, a pedant is an overly tidy person who requires an exceptional order from himself and others, compliance with even the smallest formalities. The term "pedantry" today often has a negative connotation. Such people can often drive even the most elementary ones to the point of absurdity. life situations, often irritate others, their behavior often provokes conflict situations.
We can say that pedantry is a person's tendency to meticulously and boringly follow certain laws, rules that were invented by him for himself and those around him. It is important for a pedant to be in harmony with his inner self, despite the fact that others consider his behavior somewhat strange.
Synonyms of "pedant"
Today the word "pedant" has many synonyms. Here are some of them:
- teacher;
- letter-reader;
- teacher;
- formalist;
- aristarch;
- neat.
But no matter how we call a person with a pedantic character, his essence does not change from this. Let's try to highlight the main character traits of a pedantic personality.
Negative character traits of a pedant
Pedantry, if present as a character trait, manifests itself in almost every situation. The pedant can somehow arrange things in the closet or food in the refrigerator in a special way, hang the laundry to dry in a certain order, and the like. He may be annoyed by improperly positioned shoes or dishes in the wrong place. A pedant is a person who strives to make the world around him perfect and complete. And the worst thing is that such people impose their habits on others, they consider only their opinion correct. This becomes the reason conflict situations, scandals in the family and at work.
Positive character traits of a pedant
There are pedants and dignity. The pedantic type of people is usually responsible, executive, very precise in business, can clearly express their opinion. They do an excellent job with their duties. It is very good if their work is related to documents, then everything will definitely be perfect and in order. A pedant is a person who never does work in a hurry. It is not typical for him to often change his place of work or make a rearrangement in the apartment, he is constant, values \u200b\u200bwhat he has, respects the team, loves those around him. The pedant's apartment always shines with neatness and cleanliness, there is not the slightest hint of disorder. The appearance of pedantic people is always distinguished by special accuracy. Even at home, the pedant looks perfect, you will never catch him by surprise in shabby slippers and disheveled hair. Pedants are in no hurry to make hasty decisions. They will always weigh the pros and cons. Pedants are indispensable in areas where accuracy, punctuality, clarity in the performance of duties are required.
How to befriend a pedant
How to find a common language with a pedant? Here are some guidelines that will be useful in cooperation with a pedant and will help to avoid conflict situations:
- Anything that pedants do beyond what is supposed to be appreciated.
- A pedant is a person who loves to perform only the work for which he receives money, what is included in his duties clearly according to the instructions. If you want to entrust him with something that is not included in his duties, then you need to make it clear that you know this, but you cannot do without his help.
- You need to show your respect for the pedant, thank him for helping in something or just meeting halfway in some issue.
- Pedants often suffer from lack of self-confidence. They are very afraid to make a mistake, so they need to be supported in every possible way, not to scold them for their mistakes, and they will certainly lend a helping hand for this.
Pathological pedantry
In psychology, there is such a thing as "pathological pedantry." This term denotes an excessive and scrupulous human desire for accuracy and order, brought to the point of absurdity. This often takes on the form of a kind of ritual. Such people can even write down their menu, wardrobe for a week. They are very sensitive to the situation when something did not go according to their plan. Experts explain pathological pedantry as the lack of the ability to distinguish essential details from small and insignificant ones. The pedant shows pettiness and meticulousness when performing the simplest work, insignificant and absolutely useless. In this case, pedantry is considered a serious psychological disorder.
Diagnostics
You can easily check if pedantry is inherent in you. You must immediately, without hesitation, answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions:
- I put my money in my wallet in a specific order.
- I am happy to do what requires great responsibility.
- It seems to me that people are not demanding enough of each other.
- It's hard for me not to pay attention to poorly folded shoes, clothes, I want to fix everything.
- I do everything carefully and diligently.
- I can't sleep if I've been thinking about a question all day.
- I am sure (on) that all things should have their place.
- If the work is not completed, then you can postpone the next day.
- Before leaving the house, be sure to check if everything is turned off.
- Any drinks must be poured to the brim.
- Obsessions often appear.
- I don't find it necessary to make a plan for the day.
- If I see that someone is not coping with something, then I want to do everything myself.
- I can distract myself from the problem by doing long work.
So, for answering no to questions 2, 8 and 12, write down 1 point. For answering "yes" to all other questions - also one point. We count everything together.
The amount of points is the level of pedantry.
- 0-4 - low level of pedantry.
- 5-9 is an intermediate level.
- 10-14 is a high level.
So, a pedantic character can manifest itself both on the good side and on the bad side. The main thing is to feel the measure in this matter, here the line is very thin. It is very important not to go too far, not to step over this line and not to turn from a serious responsible person into a boring pedant.
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Pedantry is a personality characteristic that manifests itself in overly strict adherence to the rules, accuracy in doing things and in everyday life, scrupulousness and following the little things. This is the desire to maintain the routine course of things, accepted formal norms. Pedantry can have a mild degree of manifestation, which helps the individual to socialize favorably in society, following its rules, or it can be of a supernormal nature, which is a symptom of neuropsychiatric disorders (anankast) and can be reduced to obsessive ideas.
Pedantry in work is most often due to conscious decisions, which are motivated by the calculation of rationality and the desire to receive the maximum amount of benefit from the working environment (manifested in the high quality of work and meeting deadlines). Distinction high level pedantry in labor activity from the painful high level is the consciousness of aspirations and the presence of strong experiences (in the working pedantry there are no long and painful experiences, while in the painful form they are obsessive).
Pedantry, what is it
The meaning of the word pedantry is revealed in the strict adherence to laws, while the priority of laws is determined by a person's internal choices, and not established by society. A person who is inherent in pedantry comes on time and leaves on a call, is accurate and principled in the little things (if at lunchtime he puts things in order on the desk every day and then drinks tea, then your proposal to change the order and spend this hour in a cafe may be met with indignation , and sometimes even).
Pedantry is one of the sides in psychology, since all efforts are made for personal complacency, even if it looks strange and inappropriate to others.
Pedantry, what is it? Outward manifestations of pedantry can be of a socially useful nature (accuracy, strict order). In general, this is the desire to bring the state of the surrounding world closer to a certain ideal, according to the pedant, state. Examples of everyday manifestations of pedantry can be: arrangement of books on a shelf in a certain order (by color or size); finding all things in the house in their specific places; rituals associated with leaving work or home (completing the entire to-do list, checking water and electricity); strict adherence to the work plan, as well as the fulfillment of exclusively their duties, agreed in advance, regardless of the changing situation; maintaining cleanliness and hygiene (brush your teeth strictly for ten minutes, wash your hands after each touching someone, cleaning the apartment once a week, etc.).
It is also characteristic of pedants to take care of their health, among them there are practically no cases of alcoholism or drug addiction. This is due not to the presence of moral principles, but to the horror that a person experiences from a state of lack of control, which accompanies all types of intoxication.
It is difficult for people with pedantry to relax completely, because their life is subject to certain rules, non-observance of which leads to an increase in the level of anxiety, and compliance takes almost all of their life time.
Pedantry in work is almost entirely based on calculation and conscious execution, it is part of a life style that helps to achieve good results... Since there are many things that can be done automatically or out of habit, and do not require high energy consumption, but at the same time, they can bring very significant benefits (for example, keeping order on the desktop saves a lot of time that would otherwise be spent on search for necessary things or documents). Actions in the case of business pedantry are completely subordinate to the person, do not deeply affect his emotional sphere and at any time can be stopped by the person himself, without any negative experiences.
Pedantry is often combined with personal criticality, thanks to which a person analyzes incoming information. In the case of pedants, the chances of taking any information on faith are unlikely. Before changing their settled life, they, as it should, analyze alternative knowledge to the smallest detail and only then include it in the model. own world.
Pedantry is a personality trait in psychology, which, in its excessive manifestation, is a trigger for the development of excessive anxiety, which in essence does not take place and does not in any way relate to the reality of what is happening. So a person may have a nervous breakdown due to the impossibility of disinfecting the palms at a certain time, or an important business meeting may fail, because according to his ideas one should not step on the line on the floor.
Is pedantry good or bad?
The meaning of the word pedantry can acquire a positive and negative connotation, depending on the manifestation, as well as the one who evaluates. The positive manifestations include the planning of the day, maintaining cleanliness and always completed on time. For the person himself, these manifestations are certainly positive, although some others may be irritated by the lack of spontaneity and some meticulousness.
Pedantry, like any manifestation of human characteristics, can be an advantage and can be a disadvantage, which depends on the level of development of pedantic manifestations. With a moderate manifestation, pedantry contributes to the manifestation of discipline, diligence. It is this characteristic that helps to start activities on time and to bring what has been started to the end, contributes to the conscientious execution of affairs. In responsible projects with clear deadlines, employees with moderately developed pedantry are most appreciated. In this case, pedantry is good.
In its extreme manifestation, the pedant considers his beliefs to be exclusively true and imposes them on those around him, which also provokes hostility towards the pedant and the dictator. Excessive pedantry, as a personality trait, closely correlates with the slowness of the course of neuropsychic processes, kindness and a sense of duty on the verge of idiocy, which entails a delay in decision-making and completion of affairs (after all, there is always the smallest detail that does not quite match and needs to be corrected). In this case, pedantry is bad.
Pedants suffer from a lack of psychological flexibility and a narrow circle of communication (there are people nearby who can tolerate all the characteristics of a pedant). In its negative perspective, pedantry (anankastnost) testifies to the presence of a deep fear of life and an irrepressible desire to at least slightly weaken it by introducing control into all areas. The more control a person establishes, the more secure and predictable events become, the less frightening life seems, but this does not give a real guarantee, since the world is uncontrollable and impossible to predict.
In the case of excessive pedantry, which is already acquiring the features of a disease, a person is not able to get rid of the emotions associated with the actions being performed, even if he can still control the actions themselves. In such cases, even curtains that are not hanging at the "right" angle can leave a mark on the mental state of the pedant for a long time. In some cases, painful pedantry develops into obsessive-compulsive disorder (with characteristic compulsive actions, such as constant hand washing) and psychosis.
How can you accustom yourself to pedantry? In addition to the manifestation of excessive pedantry, individuals its lack is noted. Pedantry is not enough for people who are often late, do not care about compliance with the rules and regulations, they are not worried about their own appearance and the presence of order. This can be a manifestation of creativity in the personality, which does not tolerate predictability and stability, makes it possible to navigate in a changing situation and the ability to quickly switch. But if a lack of discipline negatively affects a person's life, then you should start developing such an ability in yourself.
The development of the missing pedantry can be started by designating own tasks, and following them exclusively. The methods and filtering of third-party, interfering cases are good in practical application. It is worth planning your own day, organizing the space.
As with most concepts, it is impossible to unequivocally determine whether pedantry is good or bad. It all depends on the person, the situation, the degree of manifestation and impact on the quality of life.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Let's try to describe anankastic people. The main feature of this type of personality is pedantry. It is almost impossible to identify this character trait immediately or with superficial communication with them. It is revealed only with closer or constant contact, if some important business is being carried out together.
Positive sides
A pedantic person - who constantly observes all the formal requirements, is scrupulous about her work, finds fault with every little thing. But the pedant is endowed with some positive features, such as conscientiousness in performing the assigned task, even without control, accuracy, punctuality, special diligence in everything.
Anankast never makes hasty decisions, he carefully weighs his every action and every step, is very practical and sensible. Such a person is simply irreplaceable when performing any precise and punctual duties.
What is the best way to do it?
When these manifestations become pronounced, the possibility of developing pathological anankastic psychopathy increases. In this case, a person can no longer independently make a decision in any situation. He constantly and repeatedly thinks over everything and doubts when a common person would have begun to act long ago. The pedantic one often does not dare to take the last decisive step. Constantly scrolling through the solution of some problem for the hundredth, for the thousandth time in his head, he is looking for a more constructive or profitable one.
Anankast and the profession
Pedants join the team very well and become simply irreplaceable people in many professions. For example, if an aircraft designer who checks the health of an airplane before departure turns out to be a pedantic person, checks and revises everything many times, then this will only be beneficial. However, think about what can happen if pedantry goes off scale? Such an aircraft designer, in his frequent checks, may simply overdo it and, with his excessive diligence, twist or rip something.
Anancast at home
A pedantic person is someone who constantly double-checks homework. Whether the light, iron or gas is turned off, he will recheck several times before leaving home. Moreover, he never forgot to do at least something from this list.
As for pedantic women, they have constant cleanliness and order in their house. Housewives rub and iron everything to such an extent that everything in the house sparkles like in a museum. But homework often takes a lot of time due to the fact that washing floors or dishes can be up to 4 times a day. Vegetables are washed more than once before preparing the soup. And so in everything.
Irreplaceable worker
Anankasta, who works as an accountant, is immediately visible. All his reports are in perfect order, all figures are reduced to the smallest precision. Such a person will not have the motto: "Do it somehow!"
A pedantic one often brings only advantages to its owner, naturally, if his behavior does not go beyond the reasonable. Basically, Anankasts are very serious and thoroughly approach any issue. Any work entrusted by them will be done well and on time, since pedants are people of duty and are conscientious about their duties. Such subordinates are highly respected and appreciated by production managers. After all, it's nice to have an employee in your team, who is alien to haste, laxity and inattention. Pedants have a hard time changing jobs, they get used to their team very much and value them very much.
Career growth
A pedantic person is a literalist, a formalist and an unbearable bore, but there are such professions where these qualities are irreplaceable and in demand. If you put him in certain conditions, he may be prone to psychosthenia and hypochondria. Often times, people who have the qualities of a pedant become good leaders and rise very high. This does not even happen by their will. Just a responsible person who performs his duties well, often moves up the career ladder. But nevertheless, pedantic leaders are afraid to make risky decisions on their own, and also never take responsibility for the misconduct of others (this also applies to subordinates).
Cleanliness in everything
A pedantic person is neat and clean, even in his appearance... Such people are distinguished by impeccable cleanliness in their things, a neat haircut or haircut, polished shoes. Everything is ironed and perfect down to the smallest detail. Even when they are at home, they cannot afford to be sloppy in their clothes.
Collector
Anankastas are a people who love to collect collections and, of course, keep them in perfect cleanliness. And if rare exhibits are of great importance for an ordinary collector, then the pedant is simply satisfied with the process of collecting, and not the items that he collects.
The absurdity of behavior
Pedantic in means that he is quite happy with his habits and believes that it is impossible to live otherwise. But sometimes pathological manifestations can deprive him of peace or even sleep. Gradually, all the joy of life goes away, turning a person into a psychopath, enveloping him from all sides with obsessive thoughts. Burrowing into his scrupulous details, the pedantic psychopath even loses the ability to complete the work he has begun. All his rules, laws and orders prevail over the person himself, their implementation becomes the meaning of existence. And at the same moment, the best ones, such as justice and tolerance, are completely destroyed by pettiness and pickiness. Sometimes a pedantic person herself understands that her behavior is sometimes simply absurd, but she cannot deviate from her line of behavior.
Life story
One practicing psychologist told me that he had a patient with a severe form of pedantry, which grew into an obsession. Checking control and independent work students dragged on until late at night, the woman took into account all the most ridiculous little things. Constant tension and responsibility led her to a nervous breakdown, but neither tears nor despair could correct her behavior. how educated person the teacher understood that no one needed this hard daily work, because it prevented her from concentrating on the lesson and the real knowledge of the students. And later she generally realized that checking notebooks takes her much more than raising the education of children.
Expansiveness
P. B. Gannushkin once noticed that obsession is a kind of pedantry that has crossed the line of what is permissible. After all, everyone knows that if you often repeat an action, then it turns into a series of obsessive habits. If we consider the words of Gannushkin more deeply, it becomes clear that obsession is a mental pathology, which is directly related to pedantry. Both obsession and pedantry can be summarized in one phrase - "meaningless formalism."
Conclusion
Let's be a pedantic man. This is an overly intrusive, detached from real life individual, who is controlled by his fears, pettiness and painful doubts. Uncontrollable obsession is what it is pure water distorted pedantry.
Time for romantic relationships. A man cares as if his woman is a goddess, and he was created to fulfill her desires. He comes on a date with flowers, is always clear, punctual and obligatory.
He is always dressed "with a needle", following the latest fashion trends. And, finally, he blows away dust particles from his chosen one, and in the literal sense of the word. Is it possible to remain indifferent to such a man? This is a dream man!
But the time of romantic relationships smoothly flows into the marriage and everyday life, and the dream man turns out to be a slave to order, with all his might trying to turn his beloved into the same slave of order, now presented as a wife. Romance is a thing of the past, having removed the mask from the man, and under the mask - the pedant.
Marriage with a pedant: is it always bad in everything?
Life with a pedant can turn into a nightmare, or it can flow quietly, bringing joy to both. The choice in this case is for the woman: only she will be able to find that “golden ratio” that will become the core of their successful marriage. Cheating on a pedant is a utopian idea, devoid of even small hopes of victory. You just have to learn to live with him.
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A man who creates a cult of cleanliness and order certainly has his drawbacks, but there are also advantages, as well as the ability to wrap up the disadvantages with advantages. For this it is necessary, first of all, to study them, and then put them at the service of oneself. And it's not that hard. One has only to take advantage of the fact that a pedant is demanding not only of others, but of himself too. He, of course, sets his own laws and rules, but he himself follows them strictly. One has only to take his shortcomings as allies and you can safely find the benefits of living with such a person.
What can be delegated to a pedant? He takes on some tasks himself. For example, not trusting a woman to cleanliness of items related to cooking, he will unquestioningly take over the washing of dishes or even care of the kitchen as a whole. Sometimes the preparation of food itself falls under his close attention, which may serve as a reason for him to take on this responsibility, because whatever his wife does, she will not do enough right.
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Using his meticulousness and verifiable accuracy in everything, you can entrust all home bookkeeping. In this case, you can be sure that all accounts will be verified to the last penny. A pedant husband can become indispensable in raising a child. He will be meticulous in the choice of children's furniture, and the toys in the child's room will always be in order, and he will teach the baby to this order by his own example, knowing full well that the child will certainly not do as required. Preparing for school and studying will also become his prerogative, because teaching a child is a very crucial stage in life and cannot be entrusted to anyone.
If you develop the right line of behavior with such a man, then marriage with a pedant can bring a lot of pleasure. And who knows which is better: the cult of perfect order or the endless collection of husband's socks scattered throughout the apartment.