What is the position in life. Basic life positions

Life position of a person is his holistic attitude to the world around him, manifested in his thoughts and actions. This is what catches the eye when meeting and distinguishes us from each other in a psychological sense. It affects the ability to overcome difficulties, our successes and determines the power over our destiny.

A clear life position is manifested in all spheres of human activity: moral, spiritual, socio-political and labor. It expresses the moral tension of the individual, that is, her readiness for practical action.

The formation of a life position begins at birth and largely depends on the environment in which a person lives. Its foundation is born when a child learns to communicate with parents, friends, teachers, to live in society. Depending on these relations, the self-determination of the individual is concretized.

Life position - active and passive

An active life position is the secret of self-realization and success. It manifests itself in the courage of initiative and readiness to act. For its formation, an engine is needed that will move us forward. Our desires act as such an engine, which will lift us above all difficulties and help us achieve our goals. A person with an active life position can be a leader or follow the leader, but he always has his own point of view and the strength to defend it.

There are the following types of active life position:

positive position. It is focused on the moral norms of society, on the affirmation of good and overcoming moral evil.
Negative. Not always active and active people spend their efforts on positive actions, their actions can harm others and themselves. Participation in various bandit formations can serve as an example of a negative active life position. The leader of the gang is a rather active person, with firm convictions, specific goals, but his convictions are to the detriment of society, and not in its favor.

The antipode of this life position is passivity. A person with a passive life position is inert and indifferent. His words and deeds diverge, he does not want to participate in solving any problems and difficulties of the society in which he lives. His behavior resembles that of an ostrich that hides its head in the sand, thinking that this is the safest way to rid itself of problems. Such principles are no less dangerous than a negative active life position. How many injustices and crimes are committed from our inaction?

A passive life position can manifest itself in the following ways:

Despite the fact that the life position is formed in childhood and depends on the society in which we live, it is not too late to stop and think about what your life position is, what benefit you bring to others. And if the result of reflection does not satisfy, it is not too late to change yourself.

Everything that a person thinks, thinks about, does, represents his life position. At first glance, it seems that there can be something in common between the attitude to the surrounding world and morality? It turns out that everything in this life is interconnected.

Life position helps us to overcome the difficulties of life, ups and downs. It is expressed in all areas of activity: labor, ethical, internal, social, political.

People begin to form a life position from birth. How the child will develop depends to a greater extent on the close environment. These are parents, grandparents, educators, teachers. At this stage, the foundation of life in the social sphere is laid. From harmonious relationships in the family, school, at work, a personality is formed.

What is the difference between life positions

The main secret of personal self-realization is an active life position. Courage, initiative - this is that small fraction that forms to the intended goal. Such people often become leaders in the team and among friends. Passive personalities only follow them, although they have their own point of view, but do not want to defend it.

Specific features of an active life position

Negative
People with a negative life position direct their energy towards negative actions. They cause a lot of trouble to those around them. Their life credo is to impose on society their opinion, specific goals that cause colossal harm, not benefit. Often such people are the leaders of bandit groups and formations.

Positive
High morality of a person, a positive lifestyle, unacceptability to evil.

Passive people lead an inactive lifestyle. They are indifferent to our reality. Pessimists never participate in solving difficult issues, the problems of society are bypassed. They never answer for their words, promising something, they often deceive. Human behavior reminds us of an ostrich with a hidden head. In their opinion, this is the most convenient way to protect yourself from unnecessary problems.

passivity and negative life goals are practically identical concepts. From inaction and unwillingness to help in difficult times, many different crimes and outbursts of injustice happen.

Types of passive life position

Submission;
Complete inertia;
destructive behavior;
Excitation.

A submissive person will follow the path “beaten” by someone until the end of his life. He strictly observes the rules, without thinking about their need and compliance.

The last category of pessimists is no less serious for society. All their troubles, failures, anger they splash out on outsiders, completely uninvolved in their problems, people. For example, a mother splashes out a sea of negativity on her children, having unsuccessfully married. Innocent beings pay for negligent parents. There are many such examples.

Life position begins to form from early childhood and continues to strengthen or weaken during the continuation of the life cycle. Look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. Perhaps you are doing something wrong. If the results do not impress you, then try to change yourself. You still have time for this!

Position selection: I am good - I am bad

The child falls into a puddle on the playground - roars, grabs an abrasion on his knee, looks in the direction of his mother. Mom, beside herself with rage - she will have to get her new sandals dirty in a puddle. Instead of soothing strokes and comfort, the mother gives the baby a few heavy blows wherever she hits. The kid falls a second time, breaks into hysterics. The second likely reaction is outright fun. Mom is funny to watch how awkwardly her little man stretched out to his full height. The child is in a state of shock - the expectations of help not only did not come true, his call turned into additional stress.

Of course, everything can happen exactly the opposite - the mother will arrive in time, comfort and fully meet the expectations of the baby.

Negative or positive situations from the point of view of the child are constantly repeated to one degree or another, life leads him to the need to answer himself the question: why is this happening? And depending on what his answer will be, his life position will be formed for the rest of his life. The problem is that at an early age, kids trust their parents absolutely: mom is the highest wisdom. She is always right about everything. And the child will come to the idea that a mother can be “just a fool” no earlier than 15 years old.

If parents are ready to properly raise a child from the first days of his life, positive content will remain in his life position - a prerequisite for a prosperous and happy life.

4 basic life positions

Children come to their first grade having already received the first “painful” experience with their life position: favorites, leaders, losers who choose the last desks. In school, taking this into account, the previously formed psychological reactions are consolidated and developed. Therefore, psychologists strongly recommend: do not choose good school- choose good class teacher.

Many broken destinies would not have happened, and psychologists would have had an order of magnitude less work if the attitude of parents towards their children in the first years of their lives would have been different. If the mother picked it up on time, and the dog licked, and did not bite, then answering the questions: “What am I?”, “What is my environment?” ...and "What's the world like?" ... a child in his 2-3 years old will “put pluses”. It will form the life position of a happy and positive person, tuned in to creation.

Important: there will always be a difference between a person and an act in his world. Therefore, he will never say “You are a uniform idiot”, while making an enemy or losing a friend, but will notice: “Today you acted like an idiot.” This is the scheme: I "+" You "+" " I AM GOOD - YOU ARE GOOD ».

If the dog did bite, and the parents at the crucial moment took care of themselves, laughed or thrashed at the first opportunity, then the child is honestly forced to “minus”. Since his ideas about the world turned out to be erroneous, he concludes that he is bad, that he is a “loser”. A person projects this life position onto adult life. At the same time, the child will always justify his closest people - the true culprits of millions of broken destinies at the time of making a decision, giving them his cherished plus sign. Over the years, continuing to stubbornly minus himself for any reason, he admits that those around him are more successful, more perfect, smarter, he is also a sucker and a non-pinging lamer. This is how the formation of a life position occurs: I "-" You "+" " I AM BAD - YOU ARE GOOD».

Any desire to develop, change oneself, and even more so, to create and give away is lulled by a narcissist at the age of 2–3 years. The main culprits of the skewed position in life, again, are parents, grandparents.

Growing up and getting more and more, he still remains dissatisfied with the environment, which does not know how to arrange his life as it should. Choosing his position in life, he diligently “draws a plus sign” for himself, and minuses those close to him who failed to fuss and evaluate in time what gift fate presented them in his person. This is the scheme I "+" You "-" " I AM GOOD - YOU ARE BAD».

No less destructive is the life position of a person. I "-" You "-" " I'M BAD - YOU'RE BAD ". Such a position, in principle, excludes any desire to change in any direction. The usual state of mind of such a person is fatalism and boredom. The logical finale of such a life credo is often the desire to end this meaningless existence.

When everything is GOOD

A psychologically healthy person can be recognized as a person who evaluates himself - I am "+", knows how to discern a positive beginning in his loved ones - You are "+", willingly makes new acquaintances - They are "+", finds an interesting job - Labor "+".

Initially, the child starts assessing and choosing a life position from himself - Who am I "+" or "-"? If “+” is selected, the child recognizes himself as strong, talented, smart, capable, just like dad / just like mom.

When it's BAD

If at the age of 2–3 years the child put “-” for himself, he obviously agreed that he is stupid, awkward, cowardly, alas, he is all like daddy / daddy’s mom, not interesting to others, not needed. It is this position in life at the age of 13–16 that often leads schoolgirls of completely normal build, pursuing the goal of losing weight at any cost, to anorexia with a fatal outcome.

You "-" are disposed to conflicts with members of your microsociety, whom he puts on the list of disadvantaged people. At the same time, his tendency to sarcasm and caustic irony, the desire to re-educate them and the willingness to say goodbye even for a trifling matter are manifested. If the position of Oni “-” prevails, the person avoids new contacts, and notices only shortcomings in new partners in communication. Adaptation to an unfamiliar environment takes place at a snail's pace. If Labor is "-" - there is constant dissatisfaction with the material result. Then one is busy searching better work, seeking to improve, mainly, material well-being.

Important: With the appearance of "-" in one of the positions, the positive content of the others changes. So if “+” disappears from the position of You “+”, there is a distortion in the perception of I. Then a person, communicating with loved ones, shows arrogance.

Less common in almost all life situations all positions are characterized by "+" - the personality is stable. When positions remain positive at some moments of life, and negative at others, then it is not stable. As Litvak noted, the presence of even one minus in the personality complex entails the appearance of minuses in the rest, which sooner or later will lead to neurosis.

Roles, like scenarios, are distributed in advance

As Eric Berne said: "A person's life path - his destiny is determined by what happens in his head when he comes into conflict with outside world. Freedom gives him the opportunity to carry out his own plans, and power - to interfere in the plans of others. But how he will live and how he will end his life path a person decides for himself in early childhood. In the future, his whole life as a person is subject to the chosen scenario, which can be called a life plan.

Since the ultimate goal of a person is a happy and balanced life, our main task is to try to learn how to determine our life position, based on it, read our life scenario and, correcting its negative part, change our life path.

And found out what's up in the man himself and his life position. So why do some people succeed and others don't? What secret of success? We are all looking for some technique that will help us cope with problems and achieve success in everything ... But the reasons for success or failure are not in the technique, but in our head.

If we really want to “live life in such a way that later it would not be excruciatingly painful for the aimlessly lived years” and are going to start new life, then we first need to “change the head”, or rather - life position generally. It is she who plays a decisive role in whether we achieve success in life, and more correctly, whether we will be happy and satisfied.

There are only two types of life position: active and passive. All successful and satisfied people have pro-active(or simply active) lifestyle. Most of us have an attitude reactive(or passive) - and it is in it that lies the cause of most of our misfortunes.

Life position- this is the base, the foundation of our personality and our attitude to life and to the world. Its primary formation occurs in childhood - under the influence of upbringing and in the image and likeness of parents, but it is entirely within our power to change it at a conscious age. However, it is difficult and scary to rebuild the foundation on which the building has already been built, so few people dare to do it. Here you need to have serious motivation and be ready to overcome difficulties. To begin with, you should once again answer yourself the question: “Do I want to In fact become a successful person and master of my life, or will I manage with what I have, but without changing anything and without risking?

Passive and active life position - what's the difference?

Reactive (passive) life position characterized, as the name implies, by the fact that the whole life of its owner - both external and internal, consists of reactions to external circumstances. Reactions are different, but the point is that they are only reactions to something beyond our control.

Sometimes circumstances suit us - and we rejoice and thank heaven. But more often they do not suit us - and then we begin to either resent and swear, that is, we react negatively. This is how we live: we wait for the mercy of heaven, we get upset because of its absence and endlessly justify our failures by a combination of insurmountable and unfavorable circumstances.

What, as a rule, are our "plans"? “I want ...!”, “If ..., then ...”, “When ..., then ...” We are the hostages of these If And When, which do not depend on us. If we are “lucky”, of course, we will achieve what we want, but more often we are “unlucky” ... And what have we done ourselves in order to achieve what we want? “Want” and “set a goal and go for it” are very different things. And the difference is that the one who goes to the goal, valid, not just wants, and whining that something “doesn’t work out” for him, he simply has no time. If it doesn’t work out, he looks for his mistakes, corrects them and moves on.

Of course, a lot depends on the circumstances, but a person with active lifestyle only takes circumstances into account, takes them into account, laying his route. The source of his goal and the beginning of the path to it is in himself, and in the circumstances he sees possibilities for implementation their goals, developing an effective plan of action. If he got into a situation that does not suit him, he analyzes why he got into it (his mistakes) and thinks how to get out of it.

Many of our circumstances happened to us not by the will of an evil fate, but because we need them for some reason. We unconsciously chose and they even give us like. Even if we think that we are not. You may not like what is happening, but implicit bonus, which we get along the way.

For example, we are stuck in a destructive relationship. It’s bad, but you can feel sorry for yourself, whine, hysteria, take it out on your loved ones, eat sweets, drink ... - whoever is in what much, and most importantly, you can not decide or do anything! For what can we do in such terrible circumstances? Here is this one the comfort of inaction and irresponsibility we are often attracted, and so much so that we are sometimes ready to pay a very high price for it ...

And what about those misfortunes that certainly have nothing to do with our choice? Yes, circumstances are very tough, and we do not always choose them. The surrounding reality for the most part does not depend on us at all. But there is also ourselves and our relationship with reality. A proactive person sees it soberly, and sets goals realistically achievable in the existing circumstances. And he treats these circumstances in a completely different way - as opportunities and tasks, and not as "punishment" or "evil fate." Remember the saying: “Who wants to do something, looks for a way, and who doesn’t want it, looks for a reason”?

How to form an active life position?

The differences between an active and passive life position, apparently, lie in the area of responsibility for oneself and one's life. A proactive person takes it upon himself, a reactive person strives all the time to shift it to someone or something. This means that everything that needs to be done to form an active life position and abandon a passive one, in general terms, comes down to two points:

Take responsibility for what is happening to us now and what happened before. Of course, only what really depended on us: our choices, decisions, feelings, thoughts, actions, reactions. We cannot be held responsible for the weather, traffic jams, the behavior and condition of other people.
Taking responsibility for our future - again, in what we ourselves build from our lives.

Taking responsibility is the first step to being proactive in life. However, to take this very responsibility is not such simple task for someone who has been accustomed to avoiding it since childhood and grew up among such examples ... It’s not always possible to even see it, and even worse - a person constantly confuses his responsibility with someone else’s, “feeling” responsibility for something that does not depend on him in any way and at the same time does not answering for yourself. I propose the following plan for changing a passive life position to an active one:

Algorithm for the formation of an active life position

The first point is the most difficult: to find your responsibility for your life. It is too “obvious” that the government, ecology, boss, parents, husband / wife, housing problem, the time is “to blame” for our situation ... What is our responsibility?- For example, in the fact that we did nothing, but simply went with the flow, accepting what it brings. I met people who, at the age of 50, justified their failures by saying that their parents did not raise them that way! I would like to ask: "Where You What was the last 35 years after your parents raised you?” Moreover, a person cannot do nothing at all, even absolute inaction is also our choice which has consequences. And we have always had a choice.
Accept responsibility for how we deal with the circumstances of our lives. If they cause us depression, indignation, or some other kind, and we are absorbed in experiencing these emotions, then everything is clear, we like these circumstances! Let's be honest about this. To make it easier to confess, you can read the book by Eric Berne "Games People Play"- It clears the mind very well. Our reaction is also our choice, and we must try to recognize this. People react differently to the same circumstances, so there is no more need to say that “I was driven” or “I could not do otherwise.” And if at one time we had reacted differently in a hundred cases, then we would now have completely different circumstances ... Let's think about it in colors. Do you feel how the consciousness of your freedom and the fact that everything depends on you inspires? It is very uncomfortable for a person to feel like a victim, even if he has felt this way all his life.
After we managed to admit that we are the culprits of what is happening and happening to us, you should not waste your energy on scolding yourself last words and, again, get depressed from their worthlessness. On the contrary, it is better to throw away all negative emotions, and self-pity in the first place. Tears of sorrow will not help. This habit is not easy to break, but it is possible. Moreover, one should not try to overcome this pity or anger in oneself - such emotions only grow from attention. Energy is better directed to a more constructive question: "What to do now?" Now that we have realized our freedom to choose a response, we can look for positive moments and opportunities in circumstances. And now we are thinking about the future.
The next very important question is: What do we want? Not “I would like a summer house in the Maldives…”, but really - what? And taking into account the fact that this will have to be achieved by making a number of efforts and making certain sacrifices? “It just doesn’t happen like that. Another feature of the reactive position is "to want us to have everything, but we have nothing for it." It is due to this love of our “freebies” that tens and hundreds of thousands of scammers live, of which there are so many divorced now. They offer an easy solution to all our problems - and thus solve their own. And our problems are not solved - but we have a reason to be indignant at their dishonesty and feel sorry for ourselves, the poor thing, who was “thrown” again ... But you must admit, if we, for example, have health (circumstances) and we want to become an Olympic champion, then we will have to get ready to the fact that we are waiting for years of grueling training - there is no other way. Why should it be different in other areas of life?
Having decided on desires, we transform them into goals. This raises another important question: “What are we willing to do and what to sacrifice to achieve our goals?” Are we ready to study and work extra to get rich, for example? In the circumstances in which we find ourselves, we have two ways: to work hard to create other circumstances, or to learn how to live and rejoice with those who have (which will also have to work). Maybe we will choose the second path - the main thing is that this is our choice. And we no longer feel like a victim and have no moral right to whine. But we can think about what we can do in order to change something for the better - to improve or break relations, for example. The main thing is to set goals. And under them it is already possible to think over tasks. Successful man who builds his own life, has a plan for this construction - nothing can be built without a plan.

To describe in one article all the nuances of how an active and passive life position differs and how to change one for another, of course, is unrealistic. But I hope that I managed to clarify this issue at least in general terms. The formation of an active position occurs exclusively in our head - through awareness and acceptance of responsibility. In principle, this is a one-time act, but the deepening of the position and the restructuring of habitual reactions will take some time.

Various books and even success trainings can help a lot here. They all say essentially the same thing, but until we have adopted this philosophy as “our own”, we need repetition and clarification. And only after we have established ourselves in active life position, having taken responsibility for your life and having outlined your goals, you can start looking for specific methods that will help us achieve these goals more efficiently, or create methods for yourself - that's how you like it. I wish you success! Before new meetings!