As a system, the family needs discipline and rules - otherwise there will be no order in it. The order must change depending on the circumstances, since marriage is a choice for years to come, and it must evolve over time to remain functional. And, finally, unity and harmony should reign in the family, based on intimacy, mutual assistance and ... love.
So, in the family, four different roles must be implemented in order for all these actions to become possible: Production of results (Production - P), Administration (Administration - A), Entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and Integration (Integration - I), which and constitute the acronym PAEI. In the event that one or more roles are not fulfilled, something will be lacking in the marriage, and he risks breaking on stones.
All four PAEI roles cannot be combined with each other at the same time, and no one at the same time can play them alone. Thus, marriage is a complementary team, where one of the partners takes on one part of the roles, and the other - the rest. This explains why opposites attract.
The trouble is, when people with dissimilar behaviors come together, conflicts arise among them. The conflict can turn into a destructive phase and lead to divorce. Can it help further development and self-realization. It depends on whether there is mutual respect and trust in the family.
This is a book about mutual respect and trust and how to develop and nurture them in your family.
From the foreword by Yitzhak Adizes
For many years that I have worked with hundreds of companies and thousands of executives, clients tell me in their reviews that they apply the Adizes methodology, which we taught them in consultations, and in their family life. People note that it improves their relationships in families. Some even believe that she saved their marriage. I mean the usual difficulties of mutual understanding and other things that everyone encounters in marriage, not the problems that personal psychological deficiencies lead to, requiring separate professional intervention.
I was asked to write a book on how the Adizes methodology applies to family life. The problem is that I don't have time for this at all. For years I have worked hard advising large corporations and leaders of states around the world. When was I to write such a book?
As luck would have it, Yehezkel and Ruth Madanesa got carried away with my theory and asked permission to write a book on using the PAEI Adizes Guidance Style Code for Enneagrams, which is their own specialty. I gave my consent and their book was published and translated into three languages.
Then I learned that they do more than teach you how to apply the enneagrams. On the basis of the enneagrams, they conduct family and relationship trainings. "Why don't you try to use the Adizes theory in the same way?" I asked them.
They liked the idea very much, and so this book was born.
About the book
So, in the family, four different roles must be realized in order for all these actions to become possible: Production of results (Production - P), Administration (Administration - A), Entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and Integration (Integration - I), which and constitute the acronym PAEI. In the case when one ...
About the book
Both organizations and families are systems. For the successful operation of the system, which is a marriage, it is necessary to fulfill four roles. First, performing a variety of responsibilities: caring for each other, caring for the house and children, providing the family with the income they need, etc.
As a system, the family needs discipline and rules - otherwise there will be no order in it. The order must change depending on the circumstances, since marriage is a choice for years to come, and it must evolve over time to remain functional. And, finally, unity and harmony should reign in the family, based on intimacy, mutual assistance and ... love.
So, in the family, four different roles must be implemented in order for all these actions to become possible: Production of results (Production - P), Administration (Administration - A), Entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and Integration (Integration - I), which and constitute the acronym PAEI. In the event that one or more roles are not fulfilled, something will be lacking in the marriage, and he risks breaking on stones.
All four PAEI roles cannot be combined with each other at the same time, and no one at the same time can play them alone. Thus, marriage is a complementary team, where one of the partners takes on one part of the roles, and the other - the rest. This explains why opposites attract.
The trouble is, when people with dissimilar behaviors come together, conflicts arise among them. The conflict can turn into a destructive phase and lead to divorce. And it can help further development and self-realization. It depends on whether there is mutual respect and trust in the family.
This is a book about mutual respect and trust and how to develop and nurture them in your family.
From the foreword by Yitzhak Adizes
For many years that I have worked with hundreds of companies and thousands of executives, clients tell me in their reviews that they apply the Adizes methodology, which we taught them in consultations, and in their family life. People note that it improves their relationships in families. Some even believe that she saved their marriage. I mean the usual difficulties of mutual understanding and other things that everyone encounters in marriage, not the problems that personal psychological deficiencies lead to, requiring separate professional intervention.
I was asked to write a book on how the Adizes methodology applies to family life. The problem is that I don't have time for this at all. For years I have worked hard advising large corporations and leaders of states around the world. When was I to write such a book?
As luck would have it, Yehezkel and Ruth Madanesa got carried away with my theory and asked permission to write a book on using the PAEI Adizes Guidance Style Code for Enneagrams, which is their own specialty. I gave my consent and their book was published and translated into three languages.
Then I learned that they do more than teach you how to apply the enneagrams. On the basis of the enneagrams, they conduct family and relationship trainings. "Why don't you try to use the Adizes theory in the same way?" I asked them.
They liked the idea very much, and so this book was born.
Who is this book for
For everyone who wants to strengthen their family.
About the authors
Dr. Itzhak Calderon Adizes is one of the unrivaled business consultants in the world, a brilliant specialist in the field of effective business process management. Founder of the Adizes Institute, which is one of the top 10 consulting companies in the world. A branch of the Adizes Institute exists in 15 countries. Doctor Adizes is a scientific consultant of the Executive MBA and MBA programs of the IBDA, an honorary doctor of the Russian Academy of Science and public service under the President of the Russian Federation.
Itzhak Adizes has been conducting his professional activity... During this time, he was a lecturer at California, Stanford and Jerusalem Universities, acted as a business consultant for several hundred leading companies, collaborated as a political consultant to the governments of the heads of Sweden, Brazil, Greece, Israel, Iceland, Mexico and Macedonia. Among the companies with which Adizes worked are Bank ofAmerica, Coca-Cola Bottling, IBM Brazil and many more companies in 52 countries.
Author of 29 books, translated into 26 languages. One of scientific theories Adizes, a theory of company life cycles, is described in his book "Corporate Life Cycle Management". The essence of the theory is that any company, like any living organism, goes through different stages of development: birth, childhood, adolescence, etc. The company experiences growing pains and all those problems that any living organism faces during its life. The Adizes theory is a kind of elixir of eternal youth for a corporation.
Another well-known theory of Adizes, explaining the typology of leaders, is described in the book "How to overcome management crises." According to Dr. Adizes, there is no perfect leader. According to his PAEI model, to achieve efficiency, a leader needs four qualities: P - a producer of results (producer), A - an administrator (administrator), E - an entrepreneur (entrepreneur), I - an integrator (integrator). All this cannot be combined in one person, so it is necessary to have several strong managers at the helm of the corporation.
Ruth and Yehezkel Madanes, Masters in Field humanitarian knowledgeare professional life coaches who have been using the enneagram as the main tool in their practice for almost a decade. They learned the strategic intervention approach in a coaching training program with Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes. Yehezkel and Ruth are President and CEO of the Madanes School of Enneagram in Coaching, which has developed a bestselling series and acclaimed online certified training program that provides consultations, lectures and one-on-one coaching sessions. They have passed on their groundbreaking methodology to leading corporations as well as thousands of students, teachers and parents in many countries.
3rd edition.
Itzhak Calderon Adizes, Yehezkel and Ruth Madanes
Union of dissimilar. How to create a happy family not in spite of, but thanks to your differences
Published with permission from The Adizes Institute LLC and Sandermoen Business Management AG
Scientific editor Anna Chedia Sandermoen
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever without the written permission of the copyright holders.
© Dr. Ichak Adizes, 2015.
© Translated into Russian by Anna Chedia Sandermoen, 2017.
© Edition in Russian, designed by Mann, Ivanov and Ferber LLC, 2017.
Introduction
I am a management consultant. But in fact, the word "consultant" does not accurately reflect the nature of my work. I am doing organizational or corporate therapy.
The Organizational Therapy System, which I have been working on for over 40 years, is described in 20 books, published in 26 languages, and in thousands of pages of consultation protocols. Thanks to the Adizes Institute, this methodology is applied in companies everywhere. Now there are branches of the Institute in 10 countries of the world.
For many years that I have worked with hundreds of companies and thousands of executives, clients tell me in their reviews that they apply the Adizes methodology that we taught them in consultations and in family life. People note that it changes for the better their relationship in the union. Others even believe that she saved their marriage. We are talking about the usual difficulties of mutual understanding and everything that everyone encounters in marriage, and not the problems that personal psychological deficiencies lead to that require professional intervention.
I was asked to write a book, which would tell how to apply the Adizes methodology in family life. But, alas, I have no time for this at all. For years I have worked hard advising large corporations and leaders of states around the world. When was I to write such a book?
As luck would have it, Yehezkel and Ruth Madanes got caught up in my theory and asked permission to write a book on the application of PAEI Adizes guidance styles to the enneagrams in which they specialize. I gave my consent and their book was published and translated into three languages.
Then I learned that they do more than teach you how to apply the enneagrams. They conduct family and relationship training using this approach. "Why don't you try to apply the Adizes theory as well?" I asked.
They liked the idea very much. This is how this book was born.
Both Yehezkel and Ruth attended my lecture course. They received theoretical training in the application of the Adizes methodology, read all my books, and used the accumulated material for the first draft of this work. I made additions and corrections to the text where there was a lack of clarity. Without Yehezkel and Ruth the book would not have happened, and I am very grateful to them for their work.
The essence of the Adizes theory
Both organizations and families are essentially systems. For their successful work, a number of conditions must be met. Firstly, there are many responsibilities to fulfill: taking care of each other, looking after the house and children, providing the necessary income, etc. Secondly, the family requires discipline and rules, otherwise there will be no order in it. The latter must change depending on the circumstances, since marriage is a choice for many years and over time, in order to remain functional, it must evolve. Finally, the family should reign unity and harmony based on intimacy, mutual assistance and ... love.
In the family, four roles need to be realized in order for all this to become possible: production of results (Production - P), administration (Administration - A), entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and integration (Integration - I), in general PAEI. When one or more roles are not fulfilled, the marriage begins to lack something and he risks breaking on stones.
All four PAEI roles cannot be implemented simultaneously, much less alone. Marriage is a complementary team, where one of the partners takes on some roles and the other takes on the rest. This is why opposites attract.
The trouble is that when people with dissimilar styles of behavior live together, they have conflicts, sometimes turning into a destructive phase and leading to divorce. But sometimes such collisions help development and self-realization. It all depends on whether the family has mutual respect and trust.
In this book, we'll talk about mutual respect and trust and how to develop and nurture them in your family. We hope our work will not only captivate you, but will also help strengthen your family.
Enjoy reading,
Itzhak Adizes, Santa Barbara, California,
Yehezkel and Ruth Madanes, Jerusalem, Israel
Part I. Modern marriages and families: state of affairs
Chapter 1. The world has changed
“When I was little, I respected my father, he was an authority for me,” says Tomi, a 34-year-old specialist (married, two children). - The last word was always behind him. Growing up, I thought that one day my turn would come. And now I am a father myself, and they are wiping their feet on me. I crawl out of my skin, injecting day and day, come home in the evening and see no respect for myself - neither as a husband nor as a father. Whatever you say to my wife, she is not. And if I behave like my father, she will declare that I am a tyrant. "
Judy, Tom's wife, is also deeply unhappy. “I remember the tears of a mother… forever depressed… forever pushed back. She had no vote. I don’t want to live like her. I have my own job. I am an intelligent, educated woman. I have an opinion, and I want to be listened to. I'm not going to give up my right to decide what I do in my house. And I want not only to be on a par with my husband, I need him to take on household responsibilities. I also work every day - no less - than he, and this is the minimum that I expect. Now everything is different. The husband and wife should share everything equally. "
What's going on? Relationships between men and women have turned upside down. There was a catastrophic cultural shift. Change is happening at a breakneck pace; it seems that there is not a single family left in the world that they would not touch. For millennia, traditionally accepted family roles have seemed unshakable. And suddenly the foundations were shaken, and instability reached an unprecedented level. There is no longer any clarity. Suddenly it turned out that men and women are "people from different planets." There are courses, workshops, and books - essentially an entire industry, a culture that grows like mushrooms after rain - designed to help people keep their marriage in this chaos.
What kind of husband and father would you like to be? Someone like John Wayne - decisive and firm, the real master of the house, always deciding everything for everyone? If you have kids, they would probably stare at you in disbelief, like a stilted character from an old movie where men boast about their coolness. And the wife, perhaps, would say: "Honey, come on, think again and put this macho in your pocket or wherever." No wonder men are confused. They no longer know how to behave. They are expected to be firm and supportive and at the same time sensitive and compliant. In the new culture, many women still want to have an earner by their side: skilled, tough, risky, consistent with stereotypes of masculinity - but enhanced by some feminine qualities, able to listen, understand and accept. Tough but not dominant; firm but considerate, caring, loving, empathetic and gentle.
About the book
Both organizations and families are systems. For the successful operation of the system, which is a marriage, it is necessary to fulfill four roles. First, performing a variety of responsibilities: caring for each other, caring for the house and children, providing the family with the income they need, etc.
As a system, the family needs discipline and rules - otherwise there will be no order in it. The order must change depending on the circumstances, since marriage is a choice for years to come, and it must evolve over time to remain functional. And, finally, unity and harmony should reign in the family, based on intimacy, mutual assistance and ... love.
So, in the family, four different roles must be implemented in order for all these actions to become possible: Production of results (Production - P), Administration (Administration - A), Entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and Integration (Integration - I), which and constitute the acronym PAEI. In the event that one or more roles are not fulfilled, something will be lacking in the marriage, and he risks breaking on stones.
All four PAEI roles cannot be combined with each other at the same time, and no one at the same time can play them alone. Thus, marriage is a complementary team, where one of the partners takes on one part of the roles, and the other - the rest. This explains why opposites attract.
The trouble is, when people with dissimilar behaviors come together, conflicts arise among them. The conflict can turn into a destructive phase and lead to divorce. And it can help further development and self-realization. It depends on whether there is mutual respect and trust in the family.
This is a book about mutual respect and trust and how to develop and nurture them in your family.
From the foreword by Yitzhak Adizes
For many years that I have worked with hundreds of companies and thousands of executives, clients tell me in their reviews that they apply the Adizes methodology, which we taught them in consultations, and in their family life. People note that it improves their relationships in families. Some even believe that she saved their marriage. I mean the usual difficulties of mutual understanding and other things that everyone encounters in marriage, not the problems that personal psychological deficiencies lead to, requiring separate professional intervention.
I was asked to write a book on how the Adizes methodology applies to family life. The problem is that I don't have time for this at all. For years I have worked hard advising large corporations and leaders of states around the world. When was I to write such a book?
As luck would have it, Yehezkel and Ruth Madanesa got carried away with my theory and asked permission to write a book on using the PAEI Adizes Guidance Style Code for Enneagrams, which is their own specialty. I gave my consent and their book was published and translated into three languages.
Then I learned that they do more than teach you how to apply the enneagrams. On the basis of the enneagrams, they conduct family and relationship trainings. "Why don't you try to use the Adizes theory in the same way?" I asked them.
They liked the idea very much, and so this book was born.
Who is this book for
For everyone who wants to strengthen their family.
About the authors
Dr. Itzhak Calderon Adizes is one of the unrivaled business consultants in the world, a brilliant specialist in the field of effective business process management. Founder of the Adizes Institute, which is one of the top 10 consulting companies in the world. A branch of the Adizes Institute exists in 15 countries. Dr. Adizes is a scientific consultant for the Executive MBA and MBA programs of the IBDA, an honorary doctor of the Russian Presidential Academy of National Economy and Public Administration under the President of the Russian Federation.
Itzhak Adizes has been conducting his professional activity for almost 40 years. During this time, he was a lecturer at California, Stanford and Jerusalem Universities, acted as a business consultant for several hundred leading companies, collaborated as a political consultant to the governments of the heads of Sweden, Brazil, Greece, Israel, Iceland, Mexico and Macedonia. Among the companies with which Adizes worked are Bank ofAmerica, Coca-Cola Bottling, IBM Brazil and many more companies in 52 countries.
Author of 29 books, translated into 26 languages. One of the scientific theories of Adizes - the theory of company life cycles - is described in his book "Corporate Life Cycle Management". The essence of the theory is that any company, like any living organism, goes through different stages of development: birth, childhood, adolescence, etc. The company experiences growing pains and all those problems that any living organism faces during its life. The Adizes theory is a kind of elixir of eternal youth for a corporation.
Another well-known theory of Adizes, explaining the typology of leaders, is described in the book "How to overcome management crises." According to Dr. Adizes, there is no perfect leader. According to his PAEI model, to achieve efficiency, a leader needs four qualities: P - a producer of results (producer), A - an administrator (administrator), E - an entrepreneur (entrepreneur), I - an integrator (integrator). All this cannot be combined in one person, so it is necessary to have several strong managers at the helm of the corporation.
Ruth and Yehezkel Madanes, Masters in Humanities, are professional life coaches who have been using the enneagram as the main tool in their practice for almost a decade. They learned the strategic intervention method in a coaching training program with Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes. Yehezkel and Ruth are President and CEO of the Madanes School of Enneagram in Coaching, which has developed a bestselling series and acclaimed online certified training program that provides consultations, lectures and one-on-one coaching sessions. They have passed on their groundbreaking methodology to leading corporations as well as thousands of students, teachers and parents in many countries.
3rd edition.
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Book Description
Both organizations and families are systems. For the successful operation of the system, which is a marriage, it is necessary to fulfill four roles. Carrying out many responsibilities: caring for each other, caring for the house and children, providing the family's income, etc.
As a system, the family needs discipline and rules: otherwise there will be no order in it. The order must change depending on the circumstances, since marriage is a choice for years to come, and it must evolve over time to remain functional. And, finally, the family should reign unity and harmony based on intimacy, mutual assistance and ... love.
So, in the family, four different roles must be implemented in order for all these actions to become possible: Production of results (Production - P), Administration (Administration - A), Entrepreneurship (Enterpreneurship - E) and Integration (Integration - I), which and constitute the acronym PAEI. In the event that one or several roles are not fulfilled, something will be missing in the marriage, and he risks breaking on stones.
No one can simultaneously fulfill all four PAEI roles. A marriage is a complementary team, where one of the partners takes on one part of the roles and the other takes on the rest. This explains why opposites attract.
However, conflicts often arise between people with dissimilar styles of behavior. The conflict can turn into a destructive phase and lead to divorce. And it can help further development and self-realization. It depends on whether there is mutual respect and trust in the family.
This is a book about mutual respect and trust, and how to develop and nurture them in your family.