MBOU "Krasnoyasylskaya s middle comprehensive school»
Class hour on the topic
« Do we know how to forgive? Can anything be forgiven? "
8th grade
Prepared class hour
social teacher
MBOU "Krasnoyasylskaya Sosh"
Borichevskaya Rozalia Rafikovna
2015
Goal: reflect with students about the most important moral value - the ability to forgive, about the complexity moral choice; show that forgiveness is the path to building a strong personality that can love and be merciful
Tasks:
1.To learn to analyze the actions of the heroes and evaluate their own.
2. To promote the formation of the meaning of the concept of "forgiveness" in students.
3. Develop positive emotions, empathy, the desire to do good to yourself and other people.
4. To foster an understanding of the meaning of the ability to forgive and be forgiven in a person's life.
Class design:
1. Aphorisms on the board:
* To forgive is to understand, to understand is to know, to know is to approach the threshold of wisdom. ( Nicholas Roerich)
* The weak cannot forgive. Forgiveness is a property of the strong.
(Mahatma Gandhi)
* Forgiveness from the heart transforms an unhappy past into a happy future.
(Luule Viilma )
* A person is more beautiful when he asks for forgiveness or forgives himself.
(German writer Jean Paul)
Equipment: multimedia installation, memos for students.
The course of the lesson.
Slide number 1
1. Creation of an emotional mood.
Good afternoon, smiling faces.
Good afternoon, openly, trustingly
Good afternoon will last until evening.
Good afternoon to everyone who is here
I am glad to welcome you to our class hour... I count on your support and help. Look and smile at each other to create an atmosphere of warmth, kindness, unity.
Our communication requires compliance with certain rules.
Slide number 2 "Communication rules"
/ Students take turns speaking the text /
1. It is necessary to talk about those thoughts, feelings that we have at the moment.
2. The most important thing is not to be hypocritical and not to be silent, to try to tell the truth as much as possible.
3. Each of us needs to express our own emerging feelings and experiences, using expressions such as "I feel ...", "It seems to me ..."
4. During the event, each of us must be active. It is forbidden to just sit and be silent.
2. What are we going to talk about today?
VERSE Difficult word.
There is a difficult word in the world
It's very hard to tell.
Children often don't want him
And hearing is not something to understand.
It doesn't bother anyone
It brings people together.
And whoever uses it
It is sometimes more cordial, kind.
What is this word,
What frightens so many?
Not complicated, very simple:
"I'm sorry" - and God will forgive too.
Slide number 3
3. How did you guess? What kind of human quality does the poem talk about?
Today we will talk about one of the most difficult, but very important human feelings, namely, Do we know how to forgive? Can anything be forgiven?
Slide number 4
Guys, let's talk with you about these in simple words, as I'm sorry and I'm sorry.
What do you think about the meaning of these words?
/ children say /
To forgive is “to stop reproaching”, “not to keep evil”, “to be tolerant of what you don’t accept in others”; "Do not wait until the one who offended first comes to reconcile"
Slide number 5
Teacher:in front of you on the slide there are extracts from Russian dictionaries
Guys read the meaning of the word "forgive"
1) In " Explanatory dictionary Russian language "S. Ozhegov, the word" forgive "stands for" excuse, not blame, release from any obligation. "
2) In the dictionary of V. Dahl “to forgive is to make it simple from sin, guilt, duty; release from obligation, have mercy. "
Slide 6 What connects these pictures?
Teacher:
Guys, have you ever felt resentment?
What does a person who has been offended and who has been offended feel? / children's statements /
Anger, irritation, resentment, pain, rage, desire for revenge.
- A person fights the offender even in his thoughts, spending physical and intellectual energy, as well as his nerves on it.
- There are doubts about the existence of justice.
- Life is changing in a negative direction
- Science has proven that when a person is offended, then:
1. The heartbeat increases;
2. The mind is clouded;
3. Substances begin to enter the blood, which set a person against another. These substances (imperials) turn out to be poisonous. They do not leave the body, but remain in it and poison the person. And the more often a person is offended, the more and more they accumulate. And then the person begins to be offended because of every little thing, a trifle.
Will such a person bring any benefit to those around him?
Is life easy for such a person? Why?
Conclusion:Such a person does not eat well, sleeps restlessly, is in a bad mood, can get sick and even die. And so that this does not happen to you, and those around you, we must find a cure for resentment.
I want to tell you a story.
Once, where a word was needed, Silence and Silence met. One step before the impending disaster, two bitter grievances recognized each other. Their eyes expressed loneliness, emptiness, and there was something dreary in them.
Suddenly, an abyss parted and solid rocks rose behind us. Silence and Silence were horrified. They saw the end of their road. Dumb lips compressed and tongues painfully searched for the word. Their strength was running out. And what remains is not to live together, but to die together. And hands reached out to meet, and the word was born: "Forgive me!"
sorry… Why is this word very difficult to say, difficult to hear and understand?
Sometimes it is easy to forgive each other, and sometimes it is very difficult, resentment gnaws at a person, poisons life, does not allow people to communicate freely.
Teacher:How to get out of this state? What will help?
/ Student statement /
Slide number 7
What should you do in order not to let insult poison you and your soul?
/on the slide there is a "cure" for resentment: to understand - to regret - to forgive - to rise above the resentment).
The boomerang rule verse
Don't be angry with others and don't be angry yourself,
We are guests in this mortal world.
And if something goes wrong - accept it.
Be smart, smile.
Think with a cold head
After all, everything in the world is natural.
The evil you radiated
He will certainly come back to you.
CONCLUSION: you must be able to FORGIVE.
Teacher:
There is great power in forgiveness. Can anything be forgiven? Immediately, perhaps not (the offense may be too great).
Teacher:
What can we come to if we don't know how to forgive?
Discussion of the situation
Inadvertently, the girl pushed two standing boys. One knew how to forgive, and the other did not. One immediately forgave the girl who had pushed, and the other took offense at her and got angry. THE TASK
(Hit hard, crying, scandal, hospital, girl's parents, police)
Teacher:
Do you like it when you are forgiven and not punished?
This means that you, too, must forgive others. You need to be able to forgive for yourself. First of all, forgiveness brings peace to the person himself.
Main condition and rule good relationship between people it sounds like this: do with others the way you want them to do with you (do to the other only what you would like to receive yourself). Each person likes to be loved, forgiven, helped and treated well and kindly by others. In the same way, you should treat other people. But the person himself often forgets to love, help, forgive others and acts badly with other people. Before you want to do something to someone else, you must consider whether you would like it or not. Whatever you yourself would like, you can do to others, but in no case should another do what you yourself would be unpleasant to receive. Always using this rule, you will not become worse and make fewer mistakes, and your soul and its energy will not be polluted and remain pure.
Do you like it when mom doesn't eat all the candies herself, but brings you? And you yourself do the same, do you always treat her if someone gave you candy at a party or at school?
If you love to receive only the good, then you must give only the good.
Slide number 8
Use wise advice
1. Do not do to another what you would not wish in relation to yourself.
2. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. "
3. "Do not be offended, and you will not be offended!"
4. "A man is given everything, but he stubbornly mocks himself."
5. It doesn't matter what others are doing, it is important WHAT YOU do and HOW you do it
Teacher:
Some people think that asking for forgiveness is humiliating yourself in front of another. But forgiveness is an inner, personal release from resentment. It doesn't matter what religion you are, it doesn't matter whether you are small or big, a person should be able to forgive if he is a person, but it is still better to try not to offend other people. And the ability to forgive enables a person to become kinder, better, more decent.
Teacher:
How do you ask for forgiveness? Show.
Make peace! Make peace! Don't fight anymore!
Forgive me, I won't be like this anymore!
Sorry if you can!
Shake a man's hand, touch another person
Slide number 9
Handshake history
The handshake is deeply rooted in the past. When primitive people met in a peaceful atmosphere, they showed their palms to each other to show that they did not hide any weapons as a sign of reconciliation and greeting. It is believed that the hand reflects the soul of a person. Thus, a handshake means that your feelings come from a pure heart.
Handshake - seemingly an elementary gesture, and for many it is just a formality, but it plays an important role in our life, and it is necessary to treat it carefully. A handshake can indicate both your interest in a person and your lack of interest, express confidence or signal weakness, it can show warmth, openness and honesty, or a desire to hide something. A handshake is a very informative gesture, with your handshake you send a subtle but very powerful impulse about who you are and what your intentions are ...
Slide number 10.11
Game "Human Feelings"
- Guys, before you is a list of different human feelings (list on tables).
1. Select (put a “-” sign) among them those feelings that prevent you from forgiving and explain why?
/ Student statement /
2. Select from them the feelings that help you to forgive and explain why?
/ Student statement /
Annoyance
Decency
Aggression
Kindness
Love
Irritation
Respect
Anger
Inspiration
Interest
Contempt
Resentment
Envy
Cordiality
Hatred
Understanding
Indifference
Joy
Jealousy
Fear
Happiness
Success
Teacher:
In front of you are sheets of questions. I propose to answer the questions. (3 min)
(highlight the selected answers).
Explain why you chose these answers?
Questions:
1. What does the word “forgive” mean to you now?
Possible Answers:
- Stop being angry and blaming the other person.
- Do not blame the person for the offense.
- Do not wait for the other to correct the mistake and be the first to come to terms.
- To free the person from the feeling of guilt.
- To return to yourself and to the other a feeling of self-confidence.
- Cope with depression and anxiety.
- Do not blame the person bad thought or deed.
- Be tolerant of other people's misconduct.
- Break the vicious circle of resentment and revenge.
- Fully realize your potential by showing others an example of compassion, generosity and wisdom.
2. How do we feel when we forgive ourselves and others?
- Surprise.
- Getting rid of severe torment and resentment.
- Happiness, relief.
- Joy.
- Desire to start new life.
3. Guys, how do you make a person understand that you forgive him?
- If a person has realized his guilt and asks to forgive him, you must accept this apology.
- Do a good deed to someone who hurt you or caused you trouble.
- You can write a friendly letter to someone who needs forgiveness.
4. What qualities will help me do this?
- Courage, compassion, generosity.
- Love.
- Respect.
- Sense of responsibility.
Slide number 12
Teacher:
In Christianity, forgiveness even has a special day - the day of spiritual cleansing from sins, voluntary or involuntary - the last day of Maslenitsa - on the eve of Great Lent. This is Forgiveness Sunday. On this day, in ancient times, people went to church and asked God for forgiveness for their sins, bad deeds and mistakes that did not allow people to live in peace and harmony with people and with themselves. IN last years the old tradition of celebrating the forgiven resurrection is firmly embedded in our lives. On this day, you can hear the phone call and the words from the tube: "Forgive me!" You can see on the threshold of your house a person whom you did not expect to see: "Forgive me!"
Sure. We are all humans. And it is human nature to make mistakes, everything happens in life.
Slide number 13
Teacher:
There is great power in forgiveness. Can anything be forgiven? Immediately, perhaps not (the offense may be too great). You can forgive. You just need to be wise. Kind. Be in love.
Is it always necessary to forgive? Always! Otherwise, how to live on with resentment?
Carrying in yourself, and even more so "grooming and cherishing" the offense is impossible: the soul will harden, and the offense will "eat away" you from the inside, like rust.
The weak cannot forgive.
Forgiveness is a property of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi.
Teacher:
REFLEXION: "Magic ball"
I will ask you by passing magic ball, to each other, name a quality that helps us to forgive. So, I will begin, and you continue: "To be able to forgive is to be merciful" ... ... ... (passing a ball, wind a thread around each finger and pass on)
Well done! You did a great job! Let's put our hands up, and we will see that all the qualities are one whole. Only by possessing all these qualities can you become a truly merciful person who knows how to forgive.
Thin threads wrapped around the earth
Threads of parallel and green rivers,
Perform a miracle, reach out your hand
So that every person is merciful.
Slide number 14
Teacher:
I wish you universal forgiveness. I wish you to find the strength to forgive the person who offended you.
Forgive me too if I unintentionally offended someone. Thank you for the conversation.
The teacher distributes beautiful memorials to the children. Guys, remember!
Anyone can make a mistake.
Once you've made a mistake, be able to admit it.
I'm sorry and you will be forgiven.
Forgiveness will destroy anger and aggression, eat away at hatred, save you from loneliness.
I'm sorry, and your soul will be brighter.
Dale Carnegie's advice.
Rule 1: fill your mind with thoughts of calmness, courage, health and hope, because "our life is what we think about it."
Rule 2: never try to settle scores with those who have offended you, because doing so will harm yourself much more than they will.
Rule 3: keep track of your luck, not your troubles!
Rule 4: When fate hands you a lemon, try to make lemonade out of it.
Rule 5: Forget your own troubles while trying to give a little happiness to others. "By doing good to others, you are helping yourself first."
In life, we constantly interact with other people - relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances and strangers. We have known some of them for a long time and well, others not very much, but we communicate regularly, we see others for the first time and most likely we will never see them again. Sometimes there are situations where we feel hurt, angry, or annoyed as a result of other people's actions.
There are different ways of dealing with these emotions - both directed inward, that is, assuming control over oneself, one's state, and directed into the external environment, aiming at achieving more harmonious relations with those around us. In some cases, one of those ways that can be classified as “internal” is forgiveness.
Why internal - because it is not enough to say "I forgive you", you can not say this at all, what is important is what happens in your head and heart. It is clear that in some situations the scale of the offense, in our view, does not even allow us to think about forgiving the person who committed it. Even so, forgiving is useful and necessary — of course, first of all for yourself.
First, before you forgive, you will have to do some work, sometimes simple, sometimes very long and painstaking, sorting out the situation, asking yourself many questions and as a result gaining an understanding of what led the person who committed the offense, and why you took it this way - angry or offended. If the person is dear to you, then the results of your work will help make your relationship with him more trusting and joyful. But even if we are talking about a random character in your life, then the experience gained may reveal to you some inner nuances (features of reactions to certain actions and words), knowledge of which can be successfully applied in close relationships.
Secondly, forgiving, we sort of draw a line under everything that happened, complete the situation and place it in our mental archive. We admit that such a fact took place in our life, that we have drawn the necessary conclusions from it and are no longer going to return to it. In this way, it is possible to avoid repeated useless repetitions of the same situations and conversations, which, without generating anything new, make you experience unpleasant experiences over and over again. To start moving towards positive experiences, you must first finish and comprehend what creates negative ones.
In two cases, forgiving is necessary.
First - situations where a mistake was made... Suppose, while visiting, you accidentally knocked the contents of your glass, glass or cup onto the lap of a neighbor. Your natural reaction is to apologize and try to fix the problem. The same principle works in any other setting when you are hurt by accident. You should not inflate another person's mistake to a global scale (unless, of course, you are sure that it is an accident).
Second case - relationships between loved ones, mostly by family members. Regardless of their nature, it is important to remember that we do not choose family ties ourselves, therefore the maximum that we can is to try to make these relationships the way we would like them to be, and if it does not work out, to accept them as they are. Let your life be more joyful with this easy-to-follow habit.
We all sin against each other, but few are able to repent before others. And in order for the relationship to resurrect, you need to come up and say: "I'm sorry." And if it comes from the heart and from the heart they answer you, evil will go away.
Priest Alexy Potokin
Forgiving and accepting forgiveness is an art. The art of forgiveness is that foolish forgiveness multiplies sin. Late forgiveness kills, but wise and timely forgiveness inspires.
Priest Konstantin Kamyshanov
You do not forgive others in order to heal them.
You forgive others in order to heal yourself.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but liberates the future.
If you suffer from the injustice of a bad person, forgive him, otherwise there will be two bad people.
Augustine Aurelius
Forgiving is a great gift.
Moreover, it costs nothing.
The best reaction to enemy criticism is to smile and forget.
Vladimir Nabokov
Be able to forgive
You need to be able to forgive. Many people think that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. But the words "I forgive you" do not mean at all - "I am too soft a person, therefore I cannot be offended and you can continue to spoil my life, I will not tell you a single word", they mean - "I will not let the past spoil my future and present, so I forgive you and let go of all insults.
There is magic in forgiveness ... Magic of healing. As in the forgiveness that you give, so in the forgiveness that you yourself receive.
It all starts with forgiveness. If we harbor resentment, it is a manifestation of pride. I do not take it as mine, I blame someone else for it. I do not understand that I am a Soul that has committed some wrong actions, and now these lessons are returning to me.
If a person has hurt you, do not respond in kind, do good. You are a different person. You are better. Remember.
One of the most useful life skills is the ability to quickly forget everything bad: not to dwell on troubles, not to live with resentment, not to revel in irritation, not to harbor anger ... You should not drag various rubbish into your soul.
If people judge or criticize you, remember that more often than not, the very moment they criticize you, they think exclusively of themselves. Do not be angry or offended by them, just understand that it hurts people when they cannot oppose anything to what you are superior to.
Being able to forgive and asking for forgiveness is the foundation for a strong relationship. It is important to learn to sincerely and wholeheartedly say "I'm sorry" to each other instead of hurting each other with needles of reproaches and claims.
Resentment and resentment are like poison that you drink in the hope that others will be poisoned. Happiness begins with forgiveness.
Cassie Combden
As soon as a person gets sick, he needs to look in his Heart for someone to forgive.
Forgiveness is the strongest of all victories.
One little boy, when asked what forgiveness is, gave a wonderful answer: "It is the scent that a flower gives when trampled."
The most essential science is the science of forgetting the unnecessary. Antisthenes.
Your ability to love others ... and yourself ... is directly proportional to your willingness to forgive others and yourself.
For example, instead of loving the parents you would like, try to learn to love the parents you have.
To heal from past trauma, you will have to first get angry, mourn the loss, and finally forgive them all.
You will not be able to completely forgive anyone until you are willing to voluntarily give up the right to revenge and redress ... - forever.
You do not forgive others in order to heal them.
You forgive others in order to heal yourself.
Chuck Hillig
"You cannot defeat the enemy until you heal what you consider to be low in yourself."I Ching (Book of Changes)
Very often in other people we painfully perceive precisely those actions, reactions, feelings with which we sin ourselves. And the real, true forgiveness of another person begins with the ability to see your own weaknesses and shortcomings.
Perhaps we need to learn to forgive ourselves before we can allow others to forgive us for the wrong we have done to them, or before we ourselves can (in our souls or face to face) forgive them for the wrong they have done us.
And you forget - and it will become easier.
And you will forgive - and there will be a Holiday.
And you strive - and you will succeed ...
Do not be stingy - and you will be rewarded!
And it will come back to you - it will be rewarded ...
And you believe - and they will!
Start yourself - it will start all around!
And you LOVE! And you will be credited!
The ability to ignore is even more valuable than the ability to forgive. For we are forced to forgive what we have already attached importance to.
Today is Forgiveness Sunday.
Do not forget to ask forgiveness from everyone who has been offended in the past year.
And also - do good deeds!
Forgiveness Protects Our Heart
Sometimes we forgive the offender, sometimes we keep the bitter feeling to ourselves, grieving or coming up with a way to take revenge. How does this affect our cardiovascular system? First, the participants in the experiment had to recall a case when they were severely offended. They were asked to imagine that they are taking revenge on the offender, and in order to warm up the resentment, to remember how they suffered, what pain they experienced. Then they were asked to forgive their offender, try to find an explanation for his act, admit that all people have their own weaknesses ... Cardiograms and tomography readings left no doubt: negative emotions and resentment increase the heartbeat and increase blood pressure, and the manifestation of empathy immediately alleviates stress. So now it is scientifically proven: to be offended is harmful.
Are you already familiar with Ho "oponopono? This is a very simple spiritual practice that gives incredible results. The essence of the practice is that you open your heart and create a reality full of love and harmony with the words:
1. "I love you."
2. "Forgive me."
3. "I'm sorry."
4. "Thank you."
The principal point of Ho "oponopono" is to assume 100% responsibility for everything that happens in the world, that is, not only for our actions, but in general for everything that we know or do not even suspect.
The question of forgiveness is now becoming more and more relevant. Perhaps the interest in this topic arises from the search for peace and harmony among the problems of modern society.
Constantly felt resentment, judgment and anger destroy our inner world. When we take offense at another person, we thereby justify and defend our own position, defend our innocence and, as a result, create an image of our superiority. The need to be first interferes with being happy and does not allow you to get rid of feelings of resentment. Moreover, when resentment and anger live in our hearts for a long time, they begin to be perceived as an ordinary, completely normal state.
Of course, grievances are different. And accordingly, forgiveness for forgiveness is different. It's one thing to forgive someone who stepped on their feet. He is guilty, but did not do it on purpose. Another thing is to forgive for rude words and actions, for betrayal, for reproaches, etc. Especially if close people have offended.
- What does it mean to forgive
The ability to forgive is a very useful quality that is closely related to the ability to live life to the fullest and to love. If we are talking about some insignificant trifle, then for the most part people just give up on what happened and accept the banal "sorry". However, many hold in themselves a large number of old grievances, the reasons for which could be the betrayal of a loved one or dissatisfaction with themselves. The fact is that these mental wounds can heal rather quickly and not disturb a person. But for this he needs to leave the past behind. Practice shows that getting rid of the burden of old grievances can significantly improve the quality of life and health.
Why Learning to Forgive
Medical research confirms the fact that people who are unable to forgive are much more likely to experience stress-related illnesses. The reason for this is that the human brain sends signals to the endocrine system to produce an additional dose of the so-called stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. Because of this, blood pressure rises and additional muscle tension occurs. The person often has back pain. Also, such phenomena are accompanied by an accelerated heartbeat and a significant weakening of the immune system. Naturally, the stronger the offense, the more difficult it is to deal with it. Many people do not even have the desire to forgive the offender. At the same time, the offended himself loses from this first of all.
People who understood how to learn to forgive realized the power of forgiveness and completely got rid of the feeling of resentment - these are those who deliberately decided not to create health problems for themselves. Such people are in a better position than those who continue to react to stimuli with constant resentment. It has been noticed that those who know how to leave old grievances in the past are less exposed to depression and various kinds of stress. Experts say that the thinking of such people is clear, such people can control your emotions and choose a more effective model of behavior. The fact is that you should not give in to unpleasant thoughts and experiences that bring you back to an unpleasant event or situation.
What does it mean to forgive
There is a misconception that forgiveness is one method of justifying an act that has no justification as such. Also, some believe that the banal "sorry" removes responsibility for the committed offense from the person. If you also think so, then you are in this way resigned to the fact that some people may allow themselves to offend you. Thus, your offenders avoid deserved justice with impunity. You should understand that no one can change the events that have remained in the past.
Forgiveness is a change in your personal attitude towards the situation and towards your abuser. Most often, a person reacts to a negative event according to the following algorithm: denial, rejection, depression, enlightenment. Forgiveness is an instant transition from the stage of denial to insight, a kind of intention to abandon the problems of the past and the desire to enter into a new reality, while accepting the current state of things. The offended person continues to live in the past, unconsciously thinking about a situation that happened a long time ago. Naturally, this behavior and way of thinking is extremely unproductive.
A conscious person should accept the fact that no consolation can be found in revenge and hatred. At the same time, at first it seems as if all this matters. Even if you take revenge, you will not receive the expected satisfaction. The avenger is essentially taking a tyrant position, which is just the other side of the victim's position. Obviously, the person who has chosen the role of the victim cannot be happy. Learning to forgive means giving up fear, anger, and the urge to hurt others and yourself.
It is very important to be able to forgive a loved one who is dear to you. To forgive means to stop focusing on people's mistakes and shortcomings. It is much more effective to try to put yourself in the other person's place and try to understand him. Forgiveness to a loved one is a combination of compassion and tenderness. It is this that makes the couple happier and more united.
What happens during an offense
The reasons for anger and resentment often overlap. First of all, we are offended by the harm that was done to us. It doesn't matter if it was done on purpose, by accident, or to teach an important life lesson. We can also take offense at those who have views on some aspect of life that are fundamentally opposite to ours. For example, if you are a vegetarian, you may be offended by how others actively consume meat. Any attacks in the direction of your interests can also cause you resentment. Researchers are confident that ten inconsistencies will be enough for a person to form a resentment in their head. Another reason for resentment can be unjustified expectations. For example, a girl expected to receive a ring as a gift, and her fiance took her to a restaurant.
People who cannot deal with resentmentreact to it in different ways. Some begin to come up with a plan for revenge, while others are disappointed in reality and begin to scroll in their heads a happy ending, which is not destined to come true. And someone begins to blame themselves for everything, or, worse, completely disappointed in people. At the same time, what all scenarios have in common is the accumulation of negative emotions.
In order to cope with the burden of resentment on a daily basis, a person has to spend a lot of energy. Obviously, in this position, you simply do not have enough vitality to achieve goals, success, your happiness, etc. This means that resentment is quality that hurts you in the first place.
To begin with, you need to realize that you really want to give up the grudges. You do not want to be in the ranks of the offended, on which, according to the saying, "they carry water"? You do not need to cross paths with your offenders and demand an apology from them. Nevertheless, psychological practice confirms the existence of such a phenomenon as "attribution of motives." It lies in the fact that people tend to think that their abuser planned everything carefully, although in fact this is a completely unfounded assumption. That is why, if you still have the opportunity to discuss a specific situation with the abuser, you should not ignore this chance. Use it to find out the true reasons for the act. You will be surprised, but in most cases everything turns out to be completely different from what you thought at first. Try, as the English say, "try on the offender's shoes", that is, to take his place. Think about the fact that you've also had situations in your life when you unintentionally hurt someone. Didn't you have a desire to be forgiven as soon as possible?
Psychologists believe that the inability to forgive is more a consequence than a problem. In reality, a person is not able to forgive himself for his shortcomings, which means that he cannot afford to forgive them to others. Knowing how to respond correctly to an insult, you can use this tool primarily for your own good. It should be understood that there are no perfect people. Become more loyal to those around you.
You now have a basic understanding of how to learn to forgive. Using this skill, you can get rid of a lot of loads that take your life energy.