We all get excited a lot. An upcoming exam, an interview with representatives of a prestigious company, a meeting with important person or wedding eve. We do not realize that even with a seemingly slight excitement we can give ourselves out. So how do you know when a person is feeling anxious? This will help you with non-verbal signs that a person gives to others without controlling it. Any lie, a desire to hide something or an obsession with bad thoughts is stressful for the body, and in such conditions a rich palette of gestures is born, frankly revealing what a person is trying to keep secret.
Anyone whose work involves constant contact with people - teachers, recruiters, secretaries - needs to know how worried a person is. By recognizing that the person is experiencing excitement, you can turn the topic of conversation in another direction, allowing the other person to relax. It is important to understand that feelings of excitement can play a very nefarious joke, because of which the company can lose a really conscientious employee, and the diligent student will not pass the exams.
Pay attention to the person's gestures and voice, they can help you determine if the person is worried. Mindfulness is the first thing in this business. Take a closer look at the facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor, pay attention to how he holds his hands, how his head is turned. A lot of useful information can be read in these simple movements.
Hands, voice and gait will immediately signal
Constant hand movements, for example, when a person turns a pen in their hands or touches the buttons on their clothes, are the first clear signs of anxiety. It should also not be forgotten that people who are anxious have their fingers trembling. Other common signs are also a running gaze, a nervous gait, and shifting from foot to foot. If you take the palm of a person who is worried, you will definitely feel that it is wet.
Pay attention to the person you are talking to. If it becomes covered with red spots or the person turns rosy, know that he is uncomfortable or ashamed. Excitement pushes a person to breathe more often, and also generates copious secretion of saliva. And even if, speaking with you, the interlocutor began to blink more often, this is also a sign of experience. In this situation, the pupils also dilate. In some people, in stressful situations, the nostrils flare, the lips tighten (the lower one may tremble). When worried, the owner's voice does not obey, so a person can more often swallow saliva, sometimes even cough. And the timbre of the voice itself is very different. Listen to the tempo of the speech. As a rule, excitement pushes a person to speak quickly, but at the same time with long pauses between phrases. People themselves do not control themselves in such circumstances, but from the outside it is very striking. Many people have knees trembling during a period of excitement, the necessary phrases are forgotten, although the person has learned them literally by heart. A person can make a reservation: confuse words, make mistakes in them, speak instead of one another, stumble, etc.
Signs of anxiety in men
In men, when they are worried, cheekbones play. It is they who give them out to attentive ladies, and they certainly know when their loved ones do not tell them something. In the fight against feelings, men involuntarily clench their hands into fists, they sweat profusely, so you will immediately notice droplets on their forehead or nose. There are those who prefer to drum improvised melodies on the table.
In conditions of experience, even the ordinary actions of a person, for example, the way he drinks, change. In a calm state, a person drinks water or tea in slow sips, but if he is uncomfortable and afraid, then the cup will be emptied in quick and frequent sips.
Did you know that laughter is a defensive reaction to fear? In conditions of excitement, a person can burst into involuntary laughter, often abrupt. Smokers immediately reach for cigarettes if they are afraid or worried. Greedy smoking is a sign of great emotional distress.
Exceptions to the rule
However, it is important to understand that a person may be worried not only about hiding some information or lying. He may simply feel insecure. Using our recommendations, you will certainly declassify the emotions of your friend or interlocutor, you will be able to determine that a person is worried. Observing the gestures and emotions of other people is fun, but it doesn’t come straight away, but requires careful approach and constant practice.
Pay close attention to the person's expression. If a person is very worried and disturbed, his eyes begin to dart. When you can't catch someone's eye and you blink too often, it can be a sign of anxiety. Failure to hold eye contact with you does not necessarily mean that the person is hiding something, but clearly indicates excitement.
If the person you are talking to is very anxious, they may involuntarily lick their lips. This happens at the reflex level. In addition, a person in an anxious state may bite their lips or squeeze them strongly. In general, any tension of the facial muscles gives out excitement, as well as redness of the skin. In some individuals, the neck and décolleté area also flushes when they are nervous. Look the other person in the eye. Perhaps due to excitement, his pupils dilated.
A person who is very worried may experience tremors of the whole body and tremors of the hands. To hide this fact, your interlocutor can clasp his hands together, move his hands behind his back or under the table. A person who is experiencing some excitement will try to find some support for her body. It will be difficult for her to stand straight or sit freely, move. She will prefer to lean on a chair or table, pick up something in her hands, sit with her arms and legs crossed.
Awkward movements can indicate anxiety in a person. However, they also speak about the lack of confidence of the individual as a whole, about her low self-esteem. There are also people who are clumsy by nature. Therefore, here you need to know how a person behaves in a familiar environment, so as not to be mistaken.
Speech
Due to excitement, a person's breathing can become confused, so speech becomes choppy. If your interlocutor often catches his breath when he speaks, it means that he is very nervous, worried about something. Notice if his thoughts are confused. If he often corrects himself, searches for a suitable word for a long time, it means that he was overwhelmed by excitement. Some people even start to stutter due to a lot of stress.
A too fast paced speech of your interlocutor may indicate that he is very worried. To draw the right conclusions, you need to know how a person's speech sounds under normal circumstances. After all, it may turn out that he is, in principle, used to chattering. If the person starts a new sentence before completing the previous one, this indicates her excitement. Thoughts are confused due to stress, a person tries to state everything without missing anything, and as a result often gets confused.
adminThe most common human emotion is excitement. The reasons for worry are very different: from the desire to hide the truth to the implementation of a responsible situation. Excitement is often easy to define. But how to understand that a person is worried if he is hiding it? By knowing the signs, you can learn from prying eyes.
What is this knowledge for? You have an important meeting or interview. The day before is an important family event and you don't want to look insecure.
At the same time, if you realize that the person is too worried, you can calm him down.
Obvious signs
Some emotions immediately betray that a person is worried.
Speech becomes confused, stuttering, trembling appears. A person tries to cope with emotions, but this is easy to see, since the voice betrays feelings.
Tremors in joints and throughout the body. A person's knees and fingers begin to tremble. This is what hormones provoke. Initially, the body tries to prepare for the upcoming exercise and increase muscle activity. A person restraining emotions, creates overstrain, resulting in tremors.
Back and forth movement. Experiencing makes a person more active. Nervous, he jumps up, begins to move around the office, unable to contain his excitement. To stop yourself, you can try to lower your hands on a table or the back of a chair.
A sign of excitement is a shifting gaze. Often, to hide emotions, a person tries to avoid the oncoming glance.
Indirect signs of excitement
Some people have adapted to masking or controlling their own emotions.
Inattention. The person makes a reservation, cannot immediately remember the previous phrase. Because of this, the essence of the story is lost. It is impossible to finish the topic, as its beginning is forgotten.
A person is able to suppress some excitement. He keeps straight, stands in one place, but at the same time he is given out by running fingers. They sort through each other, lying objects. Some begin to "crunch" with them, the second touch their hair, the third scratch the body parts.
Uncontrolled tapping of fingers on the table also gives out. This harmless gesture can convey anxiety.
Handling a cup of coffee or a glass of water will tell you a lot too. In excitement, a person will drink greedily or in small sips, but often. In a relaxed position, the cup is drunk slowly.
Just like shifting eyes, an unblinking gaze is a sure sign of excitement. Trying to hide it, a person tenses, because of which his gaze acquires detachment.
If you know that a person rarely smokes, frequent smoking speaks of the experience. While smoking, the nerves calm down, and the hands are busy with work.
The lighter does not work immediately and the person throws out emotions at the same time.
Feigned indifference or harshness speaks of excitement. A person can laugh uncontrollably and this is explained physiological processes... Muscles involuntarily contract, forcing a person to express emotions unusual for a given moment.
With all his might, trying to hide the signs of excitement, a person puts on a mask of indifference and irony. Sharp comments and snide remarks fully correspond to the state of excitement.
In moments of danger, people turn on protective reactions. A person becomes aggressive, which means that he is worried about his own life or the fate of loved ones.
Increased sweating. In moments of excitement, all systems begin to work faster. Therefore, you can learn about excitement both by rapid breathing and by drops of sweat on your forehead, hands or upper buzz.
Find out the signs of anxiety by the face
Take a closer look at the person sitting opposite.
Does he bite or lick his lips? This is a sign of excitement. This emotion causes dryness that you want to make up for. If emotions are overwhelmed, a person is able to bite his lips to blood. This is an involuntary process that defies consciousness.
Redness of the skin. The vegetative-vascular system begins to work more actively, due to which the blood rushes to the smallest capillaries, filling them. This is an uncontrollable action that betrays excitement.
Play "nodules". With excitement, the muscles tense, forcing the cheekbones to move. This is more often given out by men, since their facial muscles are more developed.
The nostrils are distended due to rapid and uneven breathing. Excitement provokes the production of adrenaline, which causes a rapid heartbeat, faster breathing. During this process, the nostrils are inflated to absorb more air.
How to understand that a man is worried?
Men are able to hide their own worries, unlike emotional women. But if you want to know what your man is hiding under the guise of calmness, take a closer look at his involuntary movements.
Men hide their excitement by clenching their hands, resting on objects standing next to them. Excessive sweat can give out excitement. If you notice shiny droplets on the forehead or above the upper lip, the man is trying to hide something from you.
Some personalities, trying to hide under the guise of carelessness, begin to hum or drum melodies. Take a closer look, maybe a man starts to smile or laugh out loud at your question? This is also a sign of excitement.
Exceptions to general rules
Remember that people are different, and before you diagnose a stranger, talk to him more. Perhaps a tremor in your voice or involuntary movements is not a way to hide a lie, but a sign of insecurity.
If you want to guess the essence of the character, and do not rush to draw conclusions. Read more relevant literature and communicate with knowledgeable people.
March 22, 2014 3:34 pmAn attentive person will not disregard the sensory experiences of another. Why? Because experiences, or excitement, are behavior that goes beyond the usual. Therefore, at all times, people were interested in recognizing the signs of such sensations and their causes. Since ancient times, mankind has invented different ways how to know that a person is worried. To better understand the topic, you need to understand why all of us from time to time overtake a wave of unpleasant feelings.
Why are we worried?
There can be many reasons for worry. This can be a period of acute love, when one thought of an object of love makes the heart beat faster. A person is acutely experiencing the expectation of a meeting with the object of love, and when meeting him, the excitement, as they say, can go off scale.
Or a person may worry in anticipation of the unknown - for example, before a meeting with a stranger or before an event that goes beyond the ordinary. This feeling can be pleasant (for example, waiting for the moment of marriage or the first wedding night) or unpleasant (for example, waiting for a flight on an airplane, if you are basically afraid of heights).
Often a person is worried when they do something wrong or tell a lie. However, many people experience even when they need to defend their innocence. How to understand where one is, where is another, and in general, how do you determine that a person is very worried?
What do these features have in common?
If we combine all these cases, then we can conclude that excitement overtakes us in those moments when we are not sure of ourselves. Therefore, it has always been important for human relationships to understand the reason for this feeling, be it your own or a manifestation of another person's anxiety.
Then, if someone is behaving differently, how do you determine that the person is very worried?
This question has always been a concern of humanity.
One of the reasons a person is worried is a lie. Therefore, since the very first human communities began to form, it has become extremely important to reveal the lie. Why? In the Bible, the father, that is, the progenitor of lies, is called the adversary of God - Satan (the word "Satan" is translated as "adversary", and the second well-known nickname of this spiritual personality is "devil", "slanderer"). Therefore, it was important for the people on earth to identify those who lived not according to the laws of God, but according to the laws of his adversary and slanderer, for such people necessarily became criminals.
That is why the first statesmen human society were not presidents or even kings, but judges.
One way to identify the culprit is to look for signs of anxiety. For example, visually, how do you tell if a person is very worried? His mouth is usually dry and
In ancient times, for example, in ancient China, a suspect in a lie was given at the time of reading the accusation to hold a handful of dry rice in his mouth. If the rice remained dry by the end of the reading, it was declared guilty. And in Africa, suspects in a crime had to transfer to each other (while the judge was telling the audience the essence of the crime) a fragile bird's egg. It was believed that the culprit, being unable to cope with his excitement, inevitably crushed eggshells in his palms.
Both then and now, excitement was an indirect sign of the crime committed.
How to identify excitement based on external signs?
This question has always remained relevant. If we want to understand ourselves and our neighbor, we want to understand the reason for the agitation of both our own and another person. And for this, we must first determine the moment when our spirit begins to disturb something. Then we will understand why a person is worried. For an attentive interlocutor, everything is extremely transparent.
- The first obvious sign of anxiety is rapid breathing and often reddening of the facial skin. At the moment this feeling arises, a person experiences acute internal discomfort, which causes rapid breathing, the body tries to eliminate the lack of oxygen caused by a more frequent heartbeat, and the face turns red for the same reason - due to increased blood flow. By the way, often in connection with rapid breathing, the nostrils are inflated.
- The person often blinks or squints their eyes. Alternatively, the so-called "shifting eyes". This is due to the fact that, having lost control of their emotions, a person cannot concentrate on something specific - a conversation, an action.
- Because of (the ancient Chinese were right!), Lips also dry. Therefore, the person often licks or bites them.
- We all know that a person can tremble with fear. Nervous tremors are a clear sign of excitement.
- Sweat often appears over the upper lip or forehead. Increased sweating is a reaction of some hormones to the increased activity of others.
- Trying to hide the excitement, a person is exaggeratedly focused on some insignificant work of his hands - he twirls the ring on his finger, fiddles with the hem of his clothes, etc. Or, on the contrary, he does it absolutely unconsciously.
How to identify excitement by voice?
Since anxiety is an internal discomfort associated with the fact that a person temporarily gets out of his usual way of life, he is given out signs that are difficult to control by volitional control. How do you tell if a person is worried by their voice? The answer is simple: for any change in voice. It can be trembling, a change in timbre, all associated with the same dry mouth. This can be a change in the rate of speech. For example, a person begins to speak more slowly because, trying to cope with anxiety, they focus on thinking about phrases. But more often he talks incessantly and speaks outright nonsense. And if you hear it, you no longer need other signs of how to understand that a person is worried.
Often, when trying to cope with anxiety and control their speech, a person speaks through clenched teeth.
Still worth keeping in mind: all of the above doesn't always mean excitement.
First, insecure and shy people almost always experience symptoms of anxiety: their face turns red, their mouth dries up, their hands sweat, and their voice trembles. But after you determine that the person is very worried, and tell him about it, you will be very surprised. Because only then will you see what real excitement is. Insecure people are completely lost when they are told about the external manifestations of their feelings.
Secondly, anxiety as a temporary state is on a par with anxiety, and it is often beyond the power of even experienced psychologists to understand where one ends and the second begins.
Nervous is harmful, we already know that. But what exactly is the harm, and what happens to the body when a person is nervous? We decided to find out.
What's happening?
At the moment when a person's inner self-control fails, and he begins to get nervous, the whole body begins to be included in the process. At the very beginning, a person has a spasm of blood vessels and muscles, which begin to contract involuntarily. These spasms provoke inconsequential movement internal organs, which, however, is enough to constrict blood vessels. Because of this, blood ceases to flow in the required amount to the organs, which leads to oxygen starvation. This is what becomes the most common cause of migraines.
In addition to the aforementioned difficulties, a hormone begins to be produced in the body of the “nervous”, which subsequently poisons and destroys the body. This is the well-known hormone cortisol. As is often the case, what should initially help us in some circumstances can be very harmful in others. It's the same story with cortisol. Playing a key role in the body's defense reactions, it is thrown out "empty" in high concentrations and is often capable of destroying brain cells and muscles.
What to do?
Regardless of the situation that stirred your calmness, or your state of health, when a person is nervous, the same mechanisms occur in the body. Another question is that if a person initially cannot boast good health, then constant stress and nervousness can significantly aggravate the situation. Therefore, you should practice stress resistance. First tip: take anti-stress micronutrients like potassium and magnesium.
Second tip: breathe deeply. This helps not so much morally as physiologically: you saturate the brain cells with the missing oxygen. Third tip: Build up stress tolerance. Practice has shown that habit and discipline also apply to the body's response to stress.