Have you ever wondered who in fact does your state of inner freedom depend?
ABOUT! I can already hear your instant response: "Of course, from me, from whom else?"
But wait, let's take our time and calmly figure it out ...
If you ask a person a question head-on: "Do you feel inner freedom?" , as a rule, there is a pause in the air, and then the brain begins to search for an answer, and the person tries to explain to himself that, of course, he is free. And then a certain logical chain is built: I am free, because I can do this, I can do this, and so on.
How, for example, did you react to this question? Did you manage to track it down?
And what is this - inner freedom?
Inner freedom is a state in which we are, under any circumstances, free to choose what we feel good about.
True, bld aboutrovo?
Living in a state of inner freedom, we can always, under any circumstances, choose what we like, what suits us!
But a trap and lies in the fact that the mirror of our inner freedom is the relationship with other people.
For example, if your mood is spoiled by the fact that something is wrong with you, in your opinion, your husband (wife), boss, girlfriend, saleswoman of the nearest supermarket or neighbor from the second entrance, you can be sure that you will definitely have inner freedom lacks.
Because if you depend on the mood and actions of other people, then what depends on you?
That then you can freely choose, and it will be good for you?
Can you choose the mood of the other person?
An absurd question, isn't it?
Of course, you can only choose your own mood!
But what to do, if, after all, the emotions of other people strongly cling to you, and you are angry and offended by them, or blame yourself for indecision, aggression, inability to refuse or respond adequately?
The answer is one: first, you need to free your soul from the captivity of negative experiences that limit inner freedom and the ability to openly and sincerely communicate with other people.
In the first block of the new training, you will master a system of exercises that will help you to free yourself already in the process of training from the most catchy experiences rooted in deep childhood. And immediately start generating in yourself a resource state of inner freedom and vital energy necessary to realize your goals. This is what we will do in the 2nd and 3rd blocks of the new training. Get ready! Yes, yes, you will actively realize your goals already during the training!
So, the state of inner freedom is the foundation of all other positive experiences: love, happiness, harmony, confidence, activity, vital energy.
It is important to answer yourself the question: Why do you need inner freedom?
Imagine that you are internally free, then what will you do, what will change in the first place in your life?
If you cannot answer yourself this question, then it makes no sense to work on gaining inner freedom. And your desires to be free will remain just another abstraction of your life, about which you will only dream, but in fact just look for confirmation that this is impossible for you ...
Answer the question right now:"Why do you need a state of inner freedom?"
Start your answer with the words: "In order to…" And try to be as specific as possible.
Answer: "In order to enjoy life" good, but what exactly do you realize that will change when you start enjoying life? Remember! More specifics!
First, answer yourself, and then read the suggested options with which you can supplement your answers ... This is important!
So, I offer my answers:
- In order to see more opportunities for the realization of abilities, talents, potential.
- In order to adequately perceive reality, and not through the prism of habitual reactions, stereotypes and beliefs instilled in childhood by parents and society.
- In order to realize life purpose and boldly move along the path of life.
- To do your own thing, set goals and achieve them without destructive stress, with pleasure and enthusiasm.
- In order not to depend on the opinions of other people, but to independently make their own important decisions.
- In order to create harmonious relationships with loved ones based on respect, love and mutual understanding.
- In order to help their children adapt to adulthood, even if you unknowingly hurt them with your upbringing ... It's never too late to correct mistakes!
- In order to abandon a destructive relationship ... Yes, yes, and this is also important!
- In order to communicate with people openly and sincerely and choose the environment of like-minded people, relationships with whom inspire and enrich mentally and spiritually.
- In order to live according to our own script, which we can rewrite, since we want it to be in our life.
- In order to feel the strength to live, create, love, give joy and inspiration to the people around you and the world.
Independence and desire to be yourself. These topics excited me all my youth and all my subsequent life ... Freedom?!? Where are you? When will I be free and happy?
I fought for everything I could: for freedom to have my own opinion, for freedom from restrictions and rules, while creating new rules and frameworks for myself ... Fought ... With whom? With what? With the windmills invented by me, I fought, in fact, with myself ... With my desire to live, desire, love, be here on Earth, just live ...
I fought for freedom, not realizing my true freedom, limiting myself in this freedom, focusing constantly on the illusory lack of freedom ... Such discord occurs when we refuse to accept responsibility for our lives and do not want to honestly look inside ourselves.
Living with my mind, like Don Quixote, I fought with the mills, thinking that freedom in external conditions and in order to be happy it is important to change these conditions and then the long-awaited feeling of freedom and joy will come ... And so, in my zeal and resistance, I came to to the very edge, when my mind became quiet and an inner devastation set in ...
The state of surrender and the desire to feel and feel compassion and love have come
Self-love ... This was the beginning of my freedom ... Freedom turned out to be for love, not struggle. And it is for me to open up to a new feeling of love, love for myself, love for life, love for my manifestations and desires, for my body and all my choices ... And this became the shortest way to realizing freedom within myself!
I finally opened my new freedom... There was no need to fight for it anymore! It turned out that she was always inside me. I happily began to dive into myself and discover inner treasures and diamonds! It became easier and easier, and the feeling of inner freedom settled in my heart forever, or rather, I just remembered what it means to be free, revealing many images and getting to know everything in life anew in immersion in THAT.
What is freedom now for me:
- The freedom to choose what thoughts, feelings, states to live, as your experience.
- The freedom to accept other people's freedom of choice.
- The freedom to be yourself. Show your individuality and charisma by allowing other people to express their uniqueness and originality.
- The freedom to be honest with yourself and others.
- The freedom to be aware of responsibility for your life and the realization of all your desires.
- Freedom to live from the heart! Be spontaneous and flexible and accept life as it is!
- The freedom to love yourself. Respect and recognize yourself as different.
- The freedom to live in the present. Letting go of your past, taking the benefits and value of all your past actions with gratitude.
“This is all wonderful,” you say, “but what if you are head over heels in the lack of freedom and limitations of the mind and society, where to start now?”
5 steps to inner freedom from anywhere in life
- 1. Any experience we live begins with a decision to live this experience, with a choice, even an unconscious, but personal choice. Therefore, the first is make the decision to live a free and happy life! Allow yourself to do this at the level of feelings. With the help of this you can do it comfortably and easily.
- 2. Reflect on how honest (s) I am with myself in various matters. Honesty is a powerful tool for all your conversions and improvements.
- 3. Freedom \u003d responsibility for your life. Responsibility is the wings of freedom and joy in our life. Start taking more and more responsibility for your life every day and give yourself time. This is a process. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
The habitual way of thinking will sometimes return, and here it is important to smile, accept your feelings without hanging in them and switch to choose new, inspiring thoughts. I know for myself, feeling free, you understand that you can move mountains! After taking your responsibility for this or that situation, you automatically recognize your power to change it!
- 4. Reflect on your energy unity with the world and see the relationship of your internal state with what you have and receive from life. Everything always comes from the inside out.
It is not easy to admit that if a neighbor swears at you or a key breaks off in the keyhole, this is a continuation of your inner state and discontent ... However, honestly admitting that it is you who create everything in your universe, you turn your attention inward and begin to consciously choose thoughts and feelingslike the building blocks of your life. You are the builder of everything around!
- 5. Only out of love for yourself do all the new actions and all the choices that will allow you to anchor your results and intentions in the physical world.
Exercise, dance, enjoy sex, read inspirational books, take part in training and connect with people of interest to you, and just live, living every experience, realizing the freedom of your choices in all aspects of life!
Remember, you are the most important person in your life.
And the quality and content of your biographical novel depends only on you! The feeling of inner freedom is yours natural state , which can be simply remembered as the truth within oneself.
New streams will start very soon in 2017. These powerful courses have already led hundreds of people to their inner freedom and a new level of life! We start on January 10! Join the happy participants in your life!
Ecology of life: How much can a person afford to avoid falling out of the cage? Since all people are different - insofar as their opinions differ from each other ...
Every person in social and family life has rights and responsibilities.
But in reality, there is some bias: duties we are forced to comply, willingly or unwillingly. A sense of duty, supervision by "competent authorities" and self-control keep us within strict limits.
AND with rights not so simple. On the one hand, our inner subjective desire - on the other hand, fear: is it possible? what will others say? what if not everyone will like it?
And what? So entangled in networks, live your whole life?
How many people can afford to not fall out of the cage?Let's think together.
Each of us is entitled to our personal opinion.
Since all people are different - insofar as their opinions differ from each other, as well as desires, as well as tastes, as well as needs. The child's opinion may be wrong due to lack life experience, his desire may be untimely, but they cannot be ignored. Ignoring the child's opinion, parents miss the opportunity to create an atmosphere of mutual understanding and cooperation in the family, to form a sense of a united team, where each participant is valuable in himself, respected and significant. Should we be surprised at the protest moods of a teenager, his desire to act contrary to the opinion of adults, both parents and teachers?
Each of us has the right, at our discretion, to decide what and how to do, what to feel.
If you are undeservedly offended at work and you are indignant, having said a lot of unnecessary things in the heat, and in the evening you vent your anger on your loved ones - can you understand yourself? justify? support? You certainly have the right.
Why, in a similar situation, do you not recognize the same right for your child? Why are you scolding him? What are the examples of “exemplary” children?
You are not right, scandalous; he is wrong, starting a fight - you will bear responsibility for your incontinence, that's all. Why poison the atmosphere in the family?
Each of us has the right to make mistakes.
After all, a wrong action is just as useful an experience as a right one. Therefore, you should not dramatize any child's mistake - it is not worth it. Otherwise, you may receive lies in response as a defensive reaction.
All people have weaknesses. We are not perfect. Don't ask for a mandatory apology. Do not force the child to feel guilty.
Each of us has the right not to feel guilty for our actions.
If the feeling of guilt for some unseemly act is your own decision, then we are talking about your relationship with your own conscience. But if your guilt forms public opinionif your behavior is not pleasant to colleagues, neighbors - you have the right to decide whether to pay attention to it or not.
In a family, quite often, one of the household members experiences a sense of guilt: he said the wrong thing, put it in the wrong way, oversalted it, did not buy bread ... But you can live without guilt. If parents and their child have one soul for three, they will always understand each other and not judge. The three of us are easier to withstand in any trials of life. And when the parents are primarily concerned about “what people will say,” they find themselves with the child on opposite sides of the barricade.
Each of us has the right to change our beliefs and ideas.
Probably, we all have moments in life when the usual style of behavior, the usual train of thought becomes the cause of unpleasant situations. Circumstances change - and we need to change something. Our child is a representative of the new time, and it is impossible to educate him as our parents did with us. Do not be afraid of changes in your character. We bring up our children, and children educate us: they help us to reveal the potential inherent in Nature; to give an opportunity for new feelings and thoughts to manifest in our soul.
Each of us has the right not to be manipulated by others.
These manipulations begin from childhood: eat this, put on that, do not be friends with that - it is better with this, sign up for such a section. And in the end - go to this university, marry ...
The parents decide everything for us, and then the spouses. An infantile person is quite satisfied with such a model of existence, but for an adult - like a straitjacket. So use the right to build a life of your own choice. You are not a puppet! Form the same concept in your children.
We can all live in mutual understanding and harmony. By respecting our rights and the rights of others to self-determination and self-expression, we gain inner freedom.published
Despite the fact that the topic of freedom seems so attractive, most people prefer to run away from it like the devil from incense (this is a famous phenomenon described by Erich Fromm in his book "Escape from Freedom"). At the same time, some sincerely lie to themselves that they are actually free, that they can do whatever they want, without noticing or not wanting to notice that the framework of their freedom is reliably and strictly limited by the norms of education, philistine or intellectual morality, parental attitudes, and stereotypes of behavior.
As Goethe said about this « greatest slavery - not having freedom, consider yourself free " ("Selective Affinity"). In this they remind alcoholics who, drinking a "check" every evening, sincerely believe that they are not slaves to alcohol, but only "drink culturally."
The first step to freedom
As with any disease, where the path to recovery begins with the recognition of the very fact that you, friend, are sick, the path to gaining inner freedom begins with the realization that you are in fact a slave. First of all, the slave of the "installed" in your unconscious in the course of education and socialization of ways of thinking, inadequate to the reality of worldview attitudes, rules of behavior, decision criteria, etc. etc.
As a result, many things that a person would like or could do and which would bring him new opportunities, new resources, pleasure from life, happiness, comfort and mental well-being, he does not do because “it is indecent”, “shameful”, “so normal people do not ”and other“ stoppers ”. As a result, he lives a relatively well-fed and safe life, every single day deceiving himself that everything with him, in general, is not bad, that he lives, in principle, no worse than others.
The unhappy fate of many people is a consequence of the choice they did not make. They are neither alive nor dead. Life turns out to be a burden, an aimless occupation, and deeds are only a means of protection from the torment of being in the kingdom of shadows
Erich Fromm
Recognizing oneself as a slave is unpleasant, uncomfortable, painful for pride, but without this one cannot find inner freedom. You can lay clean fresh parquet on a rotten floor with holes and for a while everything will be fine, for a while the illusion of "repair" will work. But one day the floor will collapse along with the parquet and the unlucky poor fellow who laid it down.
Methodically squeeze out a slave drop by drop
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, in a letter to his colleague Alexei Suvorin, advised:
Write a story about how a young man, the son of a serf, a former shopkeeper, a chorister, a gymnasium student, and a student, brought up in honoring, kissing priests' hands, worshiping other people's thoughts, who thanked for every piece of bread, cut many times, went to lessons without galoshes , who fought, tortured animals, loved to dine with rich relatives, who made a hypocrite to both God and people unnecessarily, only out of the consciousness of his insignificance - write like this young man squeezes out a slave drop by drop and how, waking up one fine morning, he feels that it is not slave blood that flows in his veins, but real human ...
Suvorin did not write the story, but the phrase became winged.
It is precisely to squeeze out slaves from oneself drop by drop and is the only possible, reliable and effective strategy for gaining inner freedom. This process is not very pleasant, painful, since you have to rip out of the flesh of your consciousness the slave attitudes and ideas about life that have firmly grown there. This is definitely not a comfortable walk along the seashore (as many imagine the process of personal growth).
Well, WHAT exactly to do is generally clear. And now, please, HOW exactly to "squeeze a slave out of yourself", HOW to increase the level of inner freedom in yourself? Perhaps this is the question that interests the reader the most. And maybe I will disappoint him by saying that HOW is, in fact, the whole process of methodical and consistent (but unlike technical instructions) personal growth, regular work to squeeze all kinds of blockages out of my psyche. Yes, there are special techniques for this (access to them can be obtained, for example, within the framework of the [System Development] School), but the point is not in techniques, but in intention and self-discipline. What is the use of a pistol if, at the right moment, there is no inner readiness to pull the trigger to fire?
On the road to freedom
The main obstacle to freedom is not outside, but inside. This concentrated expression of all the restrictions imposed on the individual by society can be called an internal controller or overseer. You can think of it as a "program", aspect, subpersonality, inner voice, Freudian superego - the name is not important. It is important to understand its function. And it is very simple - not to let you go beyond the limits of what is permitted in the prevailing system of ideas about life in society (morality, culture, historical and ideological mythologemes, etc.).
The overseer indicates what to think about and what to do, because it is "indecent", "shameful", "shameful", "inconvenient", "bad", "wrong", "bad" and so on and so forth. Since you are not aware of the fact that your behavior is controlled by the overseer, it seems that all this is thinking and you are doing, that this is your choice. But this is not the case.
Path to freedom Is the way to weaken the overseer. It is impossible to defeat him, and unnecessary, since such a victory means a final break with society, and therefore a rejection of self-realization, because self-realization presupposes active activity in society, promoting its change and development. The desire for absolute freedom is essentially a fiction, unattainable within the framework of a separate human life.
And in order to weaken the overseer, you need to be strong. Strong in spirit. Be aware and control your aspirations, desires and other motivations. This is again the way of working on yourself, the way of serious, adult personal growth.
Surrounded by slaves
Many researchers noticed that despite all the progress of social relations, a person did not become freer from this. The reason is that freedom also has a downside - you have to answer for it. In front of myself. Since all your decisions have consequences, and the consequences tend to affect you in the most direct way, then before taking any serious step you need to think carefully, weigh the risks. It's easier for a person who is not free - others make decisions for him. And let him still feel the consequences on his own skin, but the responsibility for this can always be blamed on others - they say, "it's their fault." From this and the soul becomes more comfortable.
Therefore, most people are internally slaves. So it is easier and easier for them. These slaves, like human-tamed dogs, can be different. Well-fed slaves, hungry and discontented slaves, well-fed, well-fed, idle slaves, chain slaves, miserable slaves in their insignificance, slaves in a "grain place", slaves in retirement and so on. But you cannot despise them for this, only weak and vile people scoff at the unfortunate.
Therefore, we need to understand that everything around is slaves, first of all, for the realization of one simple, but looking (from the point of view of the inner "overseer") terrifying thought. This idea is as follows: the opinion of others is ALWAYS the opinion of the slaves, and the value of the opinion of the slaves is equivalent to the value of a dog barking at a passing caravan. In other words, the quality of an internally free person is a complete disregard for someone else's opinion. Agree, the thought is seditious. But there is no other way.
Inner freedom is the basis for successful self-realization
It is obvious that the fewer the framework within a person, the more successful he is in his actions, since he is able to do such things and in such ways to solve the assigned tasks, about which a common person not even able to think, since they are outside of his slave worldview.
For example, it never occurred to people with a slavish worldview that a medicine could be obtained from mold (the invention of penicillin by Fleming), because mold is "cocoa", it is "indecent" to dig into it, somehow inconvenient to the question of others "what are you doing? " answer "I'm digging in the mold." Not solid somehow.
If we imagine this in the form of a metaphor, then a free person climbs a tree (that is, is engaged in personal growth) and surveys life from there in all its breadth and splendor, understands what is what, where, where, from where and why. While an internally unfree person with a slave morality stumbles around, because climbing up is scary, but it requires efforts, if only once without any difficulty! and immediately at the top. And the unfree sees only bushes, trunks, windbreaks, and the darkness of the forest. And so he lives his life in ignorance and according to someone else's rules, not realizing his potential. Sorry for him.
Therefore, for those who want to build their own lives, according to their own canons, according to their own, developed, hard-won, based on real facts worldview. Who wants to live his life happily, fully, doing what he wants, to realize his life purpose, building his relationship with the world as it suits him. For such people, the question of gaining inner freedom is a matter of taking a breath of oxygen. Without any "or-or".
P.S. Specific tactical issues of gaining inner freedom will be discussed at the online seminar. Hurry up to register.