To find inner freedom it is very important to learn how to freely express your feelings and emotions. Feel free to laugh if you're having fun, let yourself get mad if you get pissed off! And don't be afraid that you will be misunderstood.
Getting rid of doubts
In a difficult situation, we often cannot find the right solution, because we feel stiffness and confusion. Because we don't know how to influence this situation. We doubt which of these actions will be correct. The key to unlocking the first lock is the freedom to express your feelings and emotions. It makes no sense to figure out whether they are correct or not, especially since most often there is no time for this. There is a feeling - it must be shown. Thinking about what and how to say it better, you will miss the time, and, accordingly, the moment when your opinion would be relevant. Meanwhile, you will have a charge of emotions. And you will suffer for a few more days: "And if I speak, how would everything be resolved?"
Getting rid of fear
Usually, when assessing our own strengths and the strength of the interlocutor (conditionally - the enemy), we tend to underestimate our capabilities. The enemy must look very frail so that it is not scary to contact him. It is all the more scary if we are somehow dependent on this person, and expressing our dissatisfaction to him turns out to be an unbearable task - no matter how something happens. It is important to express complaints as they accumulate - calmly and to the end. Try to overcome your fear. Long-held discontent will one day spill out anyway, but, perhaps, on a completely innocent person. Often these are our household members who suffer from our cowardice.
Getting rid of guilt
On the one hand, this is a very important feeling, thanks to which we recognize the line between good and evil. It helps us to better understand other people.
But, if we do not know how to cope with our feelings of guilt, and there is too much of it, then it turns into a heavy shackle. It is able to control your thoughts and actions until you squeeze it into a box and send it to retirement. The most unpleasant thing is that it always "catches up" after the situation is out of control. It will confuse thoughts and haunt you until you understand its nature. Accept yourself as you are.
You and only you are your closest, best friend. For many, the expression "love yourself" is difficult and incomprehensible. So try to use more accessible concepts - "take care of yourself" and "be friendly to yourself." Sometimes make fun of yourself - a cheerful friend never hurts, and in general, laughter is the best medicine for adversity, offended pride and stupid position. Feelings require their own experience - you need to give them a little time and smooth them over.
Getting rid of inhibitions
We were once taught that being angry is not good. We should only make our parents and others happy. But at the same time, no one taught us what to do with the negative, which, like it or not, accumulates inside. And what do we have with age? A huge baggage of negative emotions that we used to hide in the bag of our memory. And this baggage torments our body with high pressure, stomach problems, nervous breakdowns. Letting out and forgetting all the negativity is hindered by ... children's prohibitions. And it's very important to allow yourself to get angry. Get angry at full force, and then make fun of these emotions.
Despite the fact that the topic of freedom seems so attractive, most people prefer to run away from it like the devil from incense (this is a famous phenomenon described by Erich Fromm in his book "Escape from Freedom"). At the same time, some sincerely lie to themselves that they are actually free, that they can do whatever they want, without noticing or not wanting to notice that the framework of their freedom is reliably and strictly limited by the norms of education, philistine or intellectual morality, parental attitudes, and stereotypes of behavior.
As Goethe said about this « greatest slavery - not having freedom, consider yourself free " ("Selective Affinity"). In this they remind alcoholics who, drinking a "check" every evening, sincerely believe that they are not slaves to alcohol, but only "drink culturally."
The first step to freedom
As with any disease, where the path to recovery begins with the recognition of the very fact that you, friend, are sick, the path to gaining inner freedom begins with the realization that you are in fact a slave. First of all, the slave of the "installed" in your unconscious in the course of education and socialization of ways of thinking, inadequate to the reality of worldview attitudes, rules of behavior, decision criteria, etc. etc.
As a result, many things that a person would like or could do and which would bring him new opportunities, new resources, pleasure from life, happiness, comfort and mental well-being, he does not do because “it is indecent”, “shameful”, “so normal people do not ”and other“ stoppers ”. As a result, he lives a relatively well-fed and safe life, every single day deceiving himself that everything with him, in general, is not bad, that he lives, in principle, no worse than others.
The unhappy fate of many people is a consequence of the choice they did not make. They are neither alive nor dead. Life turns out to be a burden, an aimless occupation, and deeds are only a means of protection from the torment of being in the kingdom of shadows
Erich Fromm
Recognizing oneself as a slave is unpleasant, uncomfortable, painful for pride, but without this one cannot find inner freedom. You can lay clean fresh parquet on a rotten floor with holes and for a while everything will be fine, for a while the illusion of "repair" will work. But one day the floor will collapse along with the parquet and the unlucky poor fellow who laid it down.
Methodically squeeze out a slave drop by drop
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, in a letter to his colleague Alexei Suvorin, advised:
Write a story about how a young man, the son of a serf, a former shopkeeper, a chorister, a gymnasium student, and a student, brought up in honoring, kissing priests' hands, worshiping other people's thoughts, who thanked for every piece of bread, cut many times, went to lessons without galoshes , who fought, tortured animals, loved to dine with rich relatives, who made a hypocrite to both God and people unnecessarily, only out of the consciousness of his insignificance - write like this young man squeezes out a slave drop by drop and how, waking up one fine morning, he feels that it is not slave blood that flows in his veins, but real human ...
Suvorin did not write the story, but the phrase became winged.
It is precisely to squeeze out slaves from oneself drop by drop and is the only possible, reliable and effective strategy for gaining inner freedom. This process is not very pleasant, painful, since you have to rip out of the flesh of your consciousness the slave attitudes and ideas about life that have firmly grown there. This is definitely not a comfortable walk along the seashore (as many imagine the process of personal growth).
Well, WHAT exactly to do is generally clear. And now, please, HOW exactly to "squeeze a slave out of yourself", HOW to increase the level of inner freedom in yourself? Perhaps this is the question that interests the reader the most. And maybe I will disappoint him by saying that HOW is, in fact, the whole process of methodical and consistent (but unlike technical instructions) personal growth, regular work to squeeze all kinds of blockages out of my psyche. Yes, there are special techniques for this (you can access them, for example, within the framework), but the point is not in techniques, but in intention and self-discipline. What is the use of a pistol if, at the right moment, there is no inner readiness to pull the trigger to fire?
On the road to freedom
The main obstacle to freedom is not outside, but inside. This concentrated expression of all the restrictions imposed on the individual by society can be called an internal controller or overseer. You can think of it as a "program", aspect, subpersonality, inner voice, Freudian superego - the name is not important. It is important to understand its function. And it is very simple - not to let you go beyond the limits of what is permitted in the prevailing system of ideas about life in society (morality, culture, historical and ideological mythologemes, etc.).
The overseer indicates what to think about and what to do, because it is "indecent", "shameful", "shameful", "inconvenient", "bad", "wrong", "bad" and so on and so forth. Since you are not aware of the fact that your behavior is controlled by the overseer, it seems that all this is thinking and you are doing, that this is your choice. But this is not the case.
Path to freedom Is the way to weaken the overseer. It is impossible to defeat him, and unnecessary, since such a victory means a final break with society, and therefore a rejection of self-realization, because it involves active activity in society, promoting its change and development. The desire for absolute freedom is essentially a fiction, unattainable within the framework of a separate human life.
And in order to weaken the overseer, you need to be strong. Strong in spirit. Be aware and control your aspirations, desires and other motivations. This is again the way of working on yourself, the way of serious, adult personal growth.
Surrounded by slaves
Many researchers noticed that despite all the progress of social relations, a person did not become freer from this. The reason is that freedom also has a downside - you have to answer for it. In front of myself. Since all your decisions have consequences, and the consequences tend to affect you in the most direct way, then before taking any serious step you need to think carefully, weigh the risks. It's easier for a person who is not free - others make decisions for him. And let him still feel the consequences on his own skin, but the responsibility for this can always be blamed on others - they say, "it's their fault." From this and the soul becomes more comfortable.
Therefore, most people are internally slaves. So it is easier and easier for them. These slaves, like human-tamed dogs, can be different. Well-fed slaves, hungry and discontented slaves, well-fed, well-fed, idle slaves, chain slaves, miserable slaves in their insignificance, slaves in a "grain place", slaves in retirement and so on. But you cannot despise them for this, only weak and vile people scoff at the unfortunate.
Therefore, we need to understand that everything around is slaves, first of all, for the realization of one simple, but looking (from the point of view of the inner "overseer") terrifying thought. This idea is as follows: the opinion of others is ALWAYS the opinion of the slaves, and the value of the opinion of the slaves is equivalent to the value of a dog barking at a passing caravan. In other words, the quality of an internally free person is a complete disregard for someone else's opinion. Agree, the thought is seditious. But there is no other way.
Inner freedom is the basis for successful self-realization
It is obvious that the fewer the framework within a person, the more successful he is in his actions, since he is able to do such things and in such ways to solve the assigned tasks, about which a common person not even able to think, since they are outside of his slave worldview.
For example, it never occurred to people with a slavish worldview that a medicine could be obtained from mold (the invention of penicillin by Fleming), because mold is "cocoa", it is "indecent" to dig into it, somehow inconvenient to the question of others "what are you doing? " answer "I'm digging in the mold." Not solid somehow.
If we imagine this in the form of a metaphor, then a free person climbs a tree (that is, he is engaged in personal growth) and observes life from there in all its breadth and splendor, understands what is what, where, where and why. While an internally unfree person with a slave morality stumbles around, because climbing up is scary, but it requires efforts, if only once without any difficulty! and immediately at the top. And the unfree sees only bushes, trunks, windbreaks, and the darkness of the forest. And so he lives his life in ignorance and according to someone else's rules, not realizing his potential. Sorry for him.
Therefore, for those who want to build their lives on their own, according to their own canons, according to their own, worked out, hard-won, based on real facts worldview. Who wants to live his life happily, fully, doing what he wants, to realize his own, building his relationship with the world as it is convenient for him. For such people, the question of gaining inner freedom is a matter of taking a breath of oxygen. Without any "or-or".
P.S. Specific tactical issues of gaining inner freedom will be discussed at the online seminar. Hurry up to register
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The concept of freedom includes many aspects: free will, social freedom, philosophical issues. In this article, I will only touch on the psychological concept of freedom.
What is inner freedom? What prevents you from acting in accordance with your desires and needs, and what to do about it?
Inner freedom is a person's ability to do different situations a conscious choice, which is determined by his needs, his understanding of what is needed. This choice should be based on awareness and be only your own. It seems to me that the best films or books (there is a rating) are united by the desire for inner freedom. When the hero, despite the obstacles, takes an important step in harmony with himself.
Sometimes inner freedom is associated with detachment., indifference to what is happening around. Rather, it is psychological defense, ignoring, avoiding problems, rejection of what is around, inability to adapt and interact. A person needs emotional contact for happiness - this is his basic need. This means that avoiding such contact cannot be a blessing, no matter how sophisticated individualism is justified.
There are no independent people. Everyone has a commitment. Being free internally does not mean ignoring your obligations to others. The perceived necessity forces them to follow them. The desire to give back the money that you borrowed coincides with an inner conviction and does not in any way limit inner freedom.
But there are things that are not accepted internally, introjects received in various ways from other people, which have not become their own beliefs. Most often they are from childhood from parents or others significant people... They dictate how to act or react in different situations. And then a person, like a robot, is programmed for reactions and actions. He wants to do it differently, but something (often unconscious) interferes with this. As if someone else is doing it for him. He does not choose and does not have inner freedom.
Mom says to her daughter - stay at home, there are many dangers on the street and bad people... This is how she escapes her fears for her daughter. School, institute, only the most necessary communication. The daughter successfully fulfills this installation, and by the age of twenty she does not know how to communicate at all, she is afraid of being among people. She is dependent on this life scenario, it leaves her no choice, limits her inner freedom.
There are such constraints in the life of every person:
- the framework of morality imposed from outside and not accepted internally,
- parental "mustn't" be like red flags that you can't jump over,
- addictions with the help of which psychological trauma is played out,
- traditions,
- false beliefs
- fears ...
You can not do it this way. Why exactly? Maybe this someone else's "no"?
The more restraints, the less inner freedom.
Comparison often acts as such a constraint:
The neighbor has more money, he is cooler.
My friend has a better figure.
I know less, I will not be accepted in this company.
Comparison takes a lot of energy. A person is constrained, shy if he considers himself worse - or arrogant, aggressive, if the other seems weaker. However, it also happens the other way around. The main thing is that the motives of behavior are governed by their own complexes. It doesn't matter what others say or think. They are mostly concerned with the same thing. The main thing is inner consent.
Sometimes interests overlap, and you need to find a compromise.My freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. We have to get along somehow. A free person respects someone else's personal space, because for him it is a value.
It is easier for an adult to defend his rights. But parents are not chosen. Children have to pay for their mistakes in upbringing. The mother decides to devote herself entirely to raising her son, sacrificing her personal life - and the son needs a harmoniously developed adult nearby, and not a sacrifice, to properly adapt to the world. The tyrant father suppresses the child's will, deprives him of independence - as a result, the ability to hear oneself and make decisions does not develop. Yes, the starting conditions are different, but everything is surmountable, there would be a desire.
The importance sometimes attached to actions in life can interfere with decisions... A young woman realizes that she does not want to live with her partner, they are just completely different. In addition, she endures physical and psychological abuse, and the situation does not change for a long time. Divorce is the only sensible step. But divorce is too serious a step for her. Behind this lies the false belief that it is imperative to get married once and for life. Her grandmother spoke to her about this, raising her finger up and very significantly. Without taking this step for many years, she suffers, depriving herself of possible happiness, wasting precious time in her life that cannot be returned. Every day is unique.
Dependency lies at the other pole of freedom. Dependence on other people's opinions fetters, reduces the number of behaviors. "This is what everyone does, it is customary, and you must." It is very difficult to overcome this imposed from the outside. Advertising drives into the head the choice of goods, services, even people.
You need to dress like this - it's fashionable.
The car must be expensive - this is the image.
You need to rest in the Maldives - it's prestigious.
Is it necessary for a specific individual? The flow of information is overwhelming. It is worth listening to yourself, understanding your true needs, making your own choice. This is inner freedom.
The smoker is addicted to the cigarette, and while he smokes, he has no choice: to smoke or not. But there is a choice to quit smoking. The fewer the dependencies, the more choices you have. The smoker will smoke during the break, and the non-smoker has different options. The first step to overcoming any addiction is to recognize it. By getting rid of addictions, you expand your space of inner freedom.
Sometimes it seems like there is no smart solution. This is the result of internal "taboos"... Search activity helps a lot here - active behavior in finding a solution in conditions of uncertainty of the result. There is always a choice: to accept the lack of a solution or to continue searching for it. Internal freedom presupposes the presence of a choice, which means that if you accept, then there is no longer freedom.
"Success is a movement from failure to failure.
without losing enthusiasm. "
W. Churchill (Nobel laureate in literature, by the way).
Any great accomplishment includes a failure phase. But search activity sooner or later leads to the achievement of a result. Without it, inner freedom is limited.
Internal freedom, like freedom in general, requires courage, since it implies responsibility for one's life. For many people, this is an unbearable burden. E. Fromm writes about this in his book with the telling title "Escape from Freedom".
Freedom implies responsibility. These concepts are inseparable. It's easy to be irresponsible. You don't have to make decisions if you trust God, ruler, wife or neighbor. Then you can just go with the flow, nothing depends on yourself, you don't have to answer for yourself, and you don't have to talk about any freedom. Yes, and I do not need it - someone will say - and so it is normal. And this is also a choice. To each his own.
Decisions are easy for some, others cannot take a step without evaluating this step from all sides. It seems to them that it is imperative to do this step correctly. However, there is no objectively right or wrong for a person.if we are not talking about moving towards dependencies. He himself is both an object and a subject at the same time. Any external glance is superficial.
From the outside it seems that a successful doctor who suddenly quit a prestigious clinic and began to make and sell dolls, has done a ridiculous act. But if you consider that she dreamed about this all her life, and entered the medical institute at the insistence of her parents, the picture changes. Now she is finally doing what she loves and enjoys it every day.
It is difficult to find and comprehend your constraints, but the process is greatly facilitated and accelerated if you can successfully cope with at least one. There is an experience of success that builds confidence. To go around the globe, you need to take the first step, says Chinese wisdom. Thus, "squeezing out a slave drop by drop," a space of inner freedom is born.
Isn't that why we feel joy when someone overcomes his limitation before our eyes and makes a free choice? A classic example: the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" where the final episode is a symbol of a breakthrough to inner freedom. Such moments give rise to experiences that help to rethink the episodes of one's own life, giving a special, incomparable feeling of flight, inside, a sense of one's own success.
A person who has inner freedom is characterized by a light, maybe a little ironic attitude to life, and also a sense of humor. Remember the phrase of internally free Munchausen:
I understood what your trouble is. You are too serious.
A clever face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen.
All nonsense on Earth is done with this facial expression.
Smile, gentlemen! Smile ...
A free person lives in harmony with himself. He does his favorite job, he goes home with pleasure, because a loved one is waiting for him there, he can change his life if something went wrong. He has a space of choice - inner freedom. There are such? Of course there is, and there is always something to strive for.
In the world, not everything is in the hands of man, life is finite, there are tragic accidents. Sadness and loss cannot be avoided, and the happy also cry. This is an existential reality, it cannot be changed. But within the framework of your life there is always a choice. Inner freedom brings you closer to understanding your purpose, allows you to feel the world in its entirety, this is finding yourself real.
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How to find inner freedom and harmony in the soul?
If you began to ask yourself the question "How to find inner freedom?", This is the first signal that something is bothering you, that something stops you while realizing your thoughts, something slows you down inside, and this affects badly not only on emotions, but also health.
Each person has some kind of attitudes inherent in us since childhood. Growing up, we do not notice that we often think not with our thoughts, speak not with our words, do what we are used to. We are losing inner freedom, and, therefore, we are losing ourselves.
A small number of people have inner freedom. And this, of course, does not mean that they do not have any boundaries and limitations, they just are much less than everyone else.
By setting barriers to ourselves, we make life difficult for ourselves and create unnecessary problems, and then we grab our heads and try to solve them. We even begin to see the world around us through the prism of our own framework.
Without inner freedom, we become dissatisfied with the world around us. We are not satisfied with the man next to us, but the habit wins, and we don’t want to be alone. Or you can love your partner, give him your warmth, share your joy, meet the sunrises and talk about nothing.
If we are tired of work, but it brings money, then we work. True, there is only enough money to survive. And you can do what you love, bring help to people and receive gratitude in return. AND .
Don't like the area or city you live in? A person with inner freedom will definitely move, and will not scold his country and home.
But it's never too late to change everything. We alone are responsible for our lives. And we make the right or wrong choice within the framework of our attitudes. Then we realize everything, only a little late, life passes. And it becomes a pity for the missed opportunities. Yes, and because of our framework, we forget who we really are. But we have a chance to change everything, because there are no right or wrong actions, but there are actions that make us better.
What to do to find inner freedom?
Trust the Universe. She knows what's best for us and will give us happy opportunities.
You yourself are responsible for your life. It depends on you what decision to make.
Be yourself, do not follow the lead of others.
The concept of right or wrong is conditional. There are only life lessons and invaluable experience in the world.
You can change your life for the better at any moment, because you are the master of your destiny.
Love yourself and embrace all your sides.
Reduce control over the surrounding reality.
To find inner freedom, you need to work on yourself: to deal with your fears and attitudes. This will not be easy to do as it is difficult to think differently and not the way we are used to.
Reviews (3) on How to find inner freedom and harmony in the soul?
Work on yourself must necessarily be carried out, but who wants to become what, that is the question. More and more often I come across the statement that any activity (be it work, hobby, study) should be carried out with love and for people, then it is provided, but it will not come overnight. Everything takes time. For me, the main thing in life: do not cultivate selfishness and selfishness, greed, cynicism. Do not harm others while you are moving towards your goal
Spasibo za interesnuju statju- est nad them podumat .. Menja na protazenii wsei zizni inogda muthal etot wopros: "Pothemu mi segda prisluschiwaemsa k thuzomu mneniju po rescheniju woprosa?" I ne sekret, wed inogda, thtobi ne obidet theloweka. ostawlaem prawo reschenija za nim .. i otxodim w storonu .. a potom nosim w sebe tazest neudowletworennosti konethnim rezultatom i obidu na sebja, thto wse realizowalos ne tak, kak ti etogo xotela. Prithini zdes opat taki iz dalekogo proschlogo; Nas s detstwa uthili ogladiwatsa po storonam. “Athto skazut drugie? Torgowat ne poidem- spekulantom nazowut .. broskuju odezdu ne odewai- skazut wiradilas .. rabotu na bolee oplathewaemuju ne pomenaju- ludi skazut- pognalas za bolschim karmanom .. Mnogoe w zizni rana zawisit odewai- xotim .. ludi obsmotrat i kritiki ne obereschsa. A NA TANZ PLOSCHADKAX 70 godow- kakaja wnutrennaja swoboda? Tanzewat tolko tak, kak dozwoleno .. i w protiwnom sluthae srazu tebja DND pod ruthki .. i k wixodu .. Seithas w eto wremja ludi stali namnogo swobodnee- sami mogut reschat wse woprosi., Thto i rasduet., Wproschlom ludi inogda ne mogli pomenat nelubimuju rabotu tolko po tomu .., thto stojali w otheredi na poluthenie kwartiri ili mesta w sadike. DA- ETO BESKONETHNAJA TEMA RAZGOWORA: No esli budesch obretat wnutrennuju swobodu tolko tak, thtobi tebe bilo xoroscho, toze smotra thto .. wsegda radom est ludi, kotorie dorogi nam i ix maznen- mi zwe toze. SPASIBO !!