How to improve your self-esteem: 17 ways to do it yourself + 5 tips for guys who want to increase their girlfriend's self-esteem.
Self-esteem - the thing is very complex.
If it is overestimated - it is not too good if understated - even worse. So how to achieve harmony? How to evaluate yourself right?
Psychologists argue that it is better to be a higher opinion about himself than it is actually what to consider itself to be completely insignificance and engage in permanent self-vacation. Especially dangerous to have understated self-esteem for fair sex representatives.
So how to increase self-esteem girl, if it is too low? You need to use an integrated approach and work carefully. Banal autotraining or attempts to simply persecute itself will not help.
How to improve self-esteem Girl: external and internal changes
Increase your self-esteem on an even place for a little girl. I really doubt that it could happen so that yesterday you considered yourself a complete insignificance, and today the queen awoke.
No autotrehenings and self-sustaining in this case will help.
The easiest way is to change for the better.
1) To increase their self-esteem, change outwardly.
Come to the mirror and look at yourself.
And what exactly do not like?
No, no, you do not need to be separated by a common phrase: "I'm ugly." Name what you consider shortcomings in your appearance.
For example: Overweight, hair color and haircut, which I do not go, bad teeth, problem skin, long nose, small eyes.
And now let's think about how you can fix it with a girl to enhance your self-esteem:
- Excess weight can be removed if you start to eat and play sports.
If it is very lazy to do it, you can at least pick up clothes to hide the flaws of the shape. Although the first option is still more reliable.
- Hair color and haircut is generally simpler simple: they went to a good hairdresser and he fix everything.
- Bad teeth are the work of the dentist. Are you afraid of dentists, and there is no money?
Well, then stay with your low self-esteem. If you want to raise it, you have to do what you do not like it too much.
- Skin problems can be solved if you visit the cosmetologist and carefully care for your face at home.
- Little eyes and a big nose - these "shortcomings" can be smoothed by the right makeup.
Make up your list of external disadvantages and register in stages as everything can be corrected to increase your own self-esteem.
2) Career and self-development of the girl, as a way to increase their self-esteem.
Very often, girls who could not get due education are suffering from low self-esteem, to be implemented in the profession and become financially independent.
If the money in the family earns a husband if he occupies a leading position, and you are a saleswoman in a stall without education, then not to avoid complexes and understated self-esteem.
The same applies to unmarried girls. Rovenians make a career with might and earn good money? Well, how can this not affect self-esteem?
To enhance your self-esteem, the girl needs:
Get a good education.
If you study at school or university, pay more time to study and get good grades. But not only evaluation, but also the real knowledge that will be useful to you in the future are important.
For older girls, no one bothers to receive higher education - it's never late to learn.
Books give us knowledge. They can find answers to many questions. They increase our erudition.
Read not only artistic, but also specialized literature, books on self-development and psychology - they are indispensable if you want to deal with yourself.
Grow and develop.
This also applies to: and study (if you still study), and the chosen profession (if you have already been learned), and hobbies, and personal growth and other things.
It is possible to grow and develop both independently (for example, reading books, looking at video, participating in cultural events) and under the guidance of experienced mentors (we regularly go on courses and trainings).
If you become a successful, erudite girl who is engaged in a favorite thing and has no material problems, then self-esteem will increase by itself.
3) What other changes are needed by a girl to increase their self-esteem.
- Be socially active, have friends, attend interesting events, and not hide at home with a cat.
- Stop scolding on trifles.
- Learn to rejoice in your victories and with dignity to accept defeats.
- More to communicate with cheerful optimists and smaller with whims and pessimists.
- Make good actions, engage in charity.
- Live your life, and not to adapt to the opinions of others.
- Avoid negativity, do not focus on other people's problems, not to join the stupid quarrels, do not waste time on the TV, which feeds you by horrors, etc.
- Do what brings you pleasure and gives happiness.
- To eliminate from your life those components that negatively affect your perception of ourselves starting from some duties and ending with people.
.
The girls without problems in personal life rarely suffer from complexes - they have them and so normal.
It will not be superfluous for girls who want to improve their self-esteem:
- watch special videos, for example:
- read books on this topic: R. Bach "Seagull named Jonathan Livingston", R. Poletti, B. Dobbss "Self-esteem. The main benefit, "A. Koryagin and other" self-esteem and confident behavior ", D. PRESTON" Enhance self-esteem. How?" and others;
- attend trainings and seminars dedicated to this problem.
How to enhance the self-esteem of your girl: 5 options
If you meet a girl and fear that she has too low self-esteem, which would not bother to increase, then you are a wonderful young man.Alas, very often a low assessment of yourself - just the result of the failure of a girl in personal life and communication with the opposite sex.
You can enhance your girl's self-esteem:
Loyalty.
Do not change it with others. Do not admire in her presence by others, do not devour the long legs with a frankly look or elastic ass some kind of young nymph.
Respectful attitude.
It is impossible to humiliate your beloved in no words nor actions. It is impossible to try to hurt her more than in quarrels. It is impossible to mix it with mud, inspiring that it is an empty place, a complete insignificance.
Compliments.
Speak them as much as possible and do it as often as possible. In this case, porridge do not spoil the oil.
Is your girl not worthy of helping you in difficult situations to support when she is bad to try to ease her life? Taking care of your second half, you will definitely improve her opinion about yourself.
Love your girlfriend with all my soul and tell her three cherished words more often: "I love you."
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how to increase your self-esteem and learn to love yourself?
"To raise self-esteem, a girl need to learn yourself to respect"
My regular readers know that I have a psychologist's education. One of the seminars at the university was devoted to the topic of self-esteem.
My teacher, the luxurious and smartest woman, said: "At the twentieth age, I suffered from understated self-esteem." It was simply impossible to believe it. At our surprised hum, she answered with a smile: "True-true."
In the twenty years, I suffered from low self-esteem, considering myself stupid, ugly, unworthy love, good work with a high salary. Understanding the danger of such beliefs, I decided to act.
Having shifted any literature, I found a suitable recipe for myself: to learn yourself to respect. At the same time I realized that I need to respect myself for something.
And so I tried to give myself a real estimate:
- My appearance: overweight, bad hairstyle and inability to dress.
- My education: I have no higher education.
- My job: not prestigious and not paid.
- My manners: Well, so, even with a knife I am working with difficulty with a knife.
- My erudition: very mediocre.
- My advantages: there is, but it could be more.
I understood to start respecting yourself and increase my self-esteem, I must correct:
- change the hairstyle, to lose weight, got a new wardrobe;
- to get higher education;
- after graduating from the university to find a job that I liked, was prestigious, gave the opportunity to increase income and growth;
- improve your manners to resemble the lady;
- more read, interested in art, follow the news to know what is happening in my country and in the world as a whole;
- finding yourself a hobby, will learn how to cook well;
- stop avoiding guys, start walking on dates.
The minimum plan was written, and I began to fulfill. The result you see in front of yourself. I am completely pleased with your present life and perception of myself.
If you still do not understand how to improve a self-esteem girl, you should not be afraid to seek help to a psychologist. He will tell you how to move.
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Women with underestimated self-esteem suffer from uncertainty, fear critics and do not know how to take compliments. The usual role of the victim does not allow to perceive life in all colors and boldly look into the future. We learn not to succumb to manipulation.
As you know, self-esteem is how a person appreciates himself, his personal qualities and opportunities compared to other people, which place he takes itself in society. Self-assessment is not inherited - it is formed in preschool age under the influence of the closest to the child of people - parents. It is from them first of all depends on whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, overestimated or understated. And how will his further life be as far as it is successful if he will be able to set goals and achieve them or will constantly doubt his strength and accepts the loser stigma - it all depends on the level of his self-esteem.
It is not easy to live next to people who have an overestimated self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, they do not see their own flaws and do not recognize their mistakes. They believe that it is entitled to manage others, seek to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone does not agree with them. "You are the best," they told them in childhood. "You are the Queen!", - repeated dad familiar girl. He believed that, feeling the queen, she would make it believe everyone who surrounds her. But those around for some reason did not want to play the role of her subjects, and those who wanted to be friends with her was becoming less and less.
It is not easy for those whose. According to some understandable considerations, parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break it, making obedient, and eventually turn into an infantile inappropriate being, about which the legs wipe all to be lazy.
"The horror that you have done, nothing can be entrusted to you!", "You all spoil - it's better to leave," look at Any, she is a girl like a girl, and you are a slit and sludge, "now you will get me, such a thing. ! " - Criticism, threats, comparing with other children, unwillingness to reckon with the opinion of the child and see the personality in it, talking to him in an ordinary tone reduce his self-esteem and self-esteem. His own life attitudes are not yet formed, and he considers parental beliefs to be an immutable truth. Psychologists call it a direct suggestion, and children at an early age are very suggested.
If mom and dad call the child with a fool and insignificance, then it is so that he will take himself. As they say in the proverb: "Tell a person a hundred times that he is a pig, but he shrinks for a hundred first." In the same way, others will be perceived.
Another test for the child's self-esteem is adolescent age. At this time, he is very angry and painfully perceives criticism. If he can repeat that out of him, nothing is possible and he is one road - in prison or on the panel, then you should not be surprised that it will happen.
Ultimately, people with underestimated self-esteem justify all those nicknames and epithets that they were awarded in childhood. They really become losers, husks, outsiders. They lose, sometimes even having entered into the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. "I am not worthy" - they explain their loss.
Women with low self-esteem - what men choose them?
Women with low self-esteem, as well as men with the same character, do not achieve significant success, because "know their place." However, psychologists noticed that they, in addition, attract men of a particular type - power, authoritarian and selfish. It is profitable for them to have such a woman under sideways, because it is not demanding and simply manage. It is easy to convince that her main task is to create comfortable conditions to her husband, to raise children and she is not entitled to demand more than he can give her.
A woman with a low self-esteem is comfortable and the fact that she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for married her, and no one else looks at anyone. And even even looks, it believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband can relax, because if he is married to a woman with an adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to fit. And so much says goodbye to him - both pettyness, and rudeness, and a slope, because the woman believes that he is not worthy of the best.
A woman with low self-esteem consumer is not only a husband, but also others. Knowing that she could not refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their duties for her. Moreover, women with understated self-esteem are often perfection, seeking to do everything in the best possible way.
Especially easy by them, inspiring them a sense of guilt. In an effort to rod this in reality, the not existing guilt, they are still trying to please to deserve praise.
What are they - Women with understated self-esteem?
Many women do not realize that all their depression and failures are associated with low self-esteem. They think: so life has developed, the unfavorable circumstances were to blame, which were prevented from becoming happy, successful and beloved. "You can't leave destiny!", "They are arguing instead of working on personal installations, with the help of which you can change the attitude towards yourself - to love yourself. Are we not worthy of this love? "I am alone," says psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book under the same name. If we want us to understand, appreciated and loved others, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.
Do we remind someone these women? They are:
1. Understanding
But not because they feel satisfaction from the fulfillment of other people's requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for the fact that they could not refuse, they are angry and annoyed. But not to say "No": Suddenly, the people who come offended or badly think about them, and someone else's opinion is very important for them, and it must certainly be positive;
2. painfully tolerate criticism
Women with adequate self-esteem also adequately perceive and criticism: they accept it or not, not falling into hysterics. If we say that it is not right, a woman with an understated self-esteem, for her it will be almost a tragedy. The insult will follow, tears and indignation, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints on her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want everyone to like and be good for everyone;
3. Overly critical to its appearance
They do not tolerate critics from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their appearance, so they strive not to stand out, be in the shade. They do not like their own figure, nor face, nor body nor hair - nothing. At the same time, they are often engaged in public senses, obviously, subconsciously expecting that those surrounding will begin to dissuade them, assure in the opposite and make compliments;
4. Do not make together compliments
They love them, but do not know how. It is possible that in response to the praise that it looks great today, a woman with a low self-esteem will hang and say something like: "Yes, I washed my head today" or "Oh, it's an old dress, so it's not clear what I see what I became a cow ";
5. Feel the victim
Their wounding psyche is painfully reacting to every oblique look and curve word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people, it seems to them that others only think about how to offend them. They often regret themselves, repeating with failures: "Well, not with my happiness";
6. Refuse their own desires
They have their dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deeply, which is no longer reminded of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live in other people's desires. Waited for a day off to walk with her husband in the park? But he said: "We go to the cottage to clean the garden, shelf the garden." Tired and want to stay? "What a rest! Look, my old mom works, and you will spawn?! " "Tomorrow my friends will come to visit. Do not want? Can not be. Running into the kitchen, to the stove! "
They do not know how to disappoint, because it means to disappoint others, not to justify their hopes, which women with low self-esteem can not be allowed;
7. Are not able to make a choice and take responsibility
They too often utter words: "I can't", "I will not succeed," "I am not entitled to decide." It is not surprising that to make a decision for them - incredible gravity, because it is possible to make a mistake and deserve disapproval, to get a negative assessment. Therefore, they fluctuate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task on others: "What do you advise? I will do how you say ";
8. Unhappy with their surroundings
They often complain to colleagues and girlfriends that her husband suppresses them, mother-in-law quivering, relatives do not appreciate. At home they are crying that the head is not considered from their point of view, and employees are offended. Psychologists say that the subconscious women with a low self-esteem themselves attract people to themselves who do not put them in anything, and thus additionally approve in the opinion that they are worthless losers.
We increase your self-esteem
Women who are tired of being a puppet and the object of manipulations that want to live their lives and do not depend on someone else's opinion, can correct their character. It is easy - you just need to want to change.
1. Minimize or stop communicating with people, next to which self-esteem is reduced
We doubt, incessantly appealing to the council, we show insecurity, show how someone's remark is wound off, all the time we justify and easily take blame for yourself - and in the end we become so myself a boy for whipping, an eternal scapegoat, which no one takes seriously And with which it is not accepted. People are easily calculated to whom can be condescending, down, and begin to manipulate them.
To a greater extent, in the current situation, we are to blame for themselves: they say that we are treated as we allow us to contact them.
But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of things, we must "show your teeth" - of course, not with the help of hysterics. Control their reactions, not giving the reason to consider us in bulk mumps.
Change the attitude towards yourself those who have already got used to our "toothlessness" is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but maybe. However, if the surrounding persistently continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we have such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.
2. Love yourself
About the fact that you need to love yourself, now they say a lot and write. To love yourself - does not mean to do not care on the rest and wear with you, beloved, as with a written Tuba. This means understanding yourself, learn to live in harmony with you and with the world, respect yourself and not engage in self-defense and self-name.
Louise Hay, a well-known American psychologist and the author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests from the morning to approach the mirror and, looking at his reflection, say: "I love you. What can I do today for you to be joyful and happy? ". First, this phrase will interfere with some inner protest, but soon it will sound naturally and freely.
According to the same Louise Hay, "I'm not trying to correct the problem. I correct my thoughts. And then the problem corrects itself. "
3. We ask yourself positive installations
We do it with the help of and visualizations. The above-mentioned phrase Louise Hay about love for himself is one of the possible affirmations. Some complain that they do not work affirmations. "I repeat ten times a day, I repeat the same thing, and nothing changes," they say.
Louise Haye compares affirmations with a grain or seed - it is small enough, it must be watered, you need to care for it. Posted, for example, tomato, we do not expect that tomorrow we get fruit? The same can be said about affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and do not allow to forget about the goal, but that they earn, we must take real steps.
4. Meditate
For example: we relax, close your eyes and mentally transferred to some kind of wonderful place where we were once and where we were fine. Very clearly feel it - sounds, smells. Then imagine the wizard-wanderer who tells us: "My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you can not know something or mistaken. You can judge yourself, which is good and that bad, and take responsibility when you wish. You have the right to decide what and when to do you. You have the right to be like you are! You came to this world, for this planet for yourself myself! ".
The wizard smiles us and says goodbye to us, and we do inhale, open your eyes and return to reality.
5. Do not save on yourself
Remarik wrote that "a woman who saves on himself causes a man's only desire to save on it."
Nothing raises the self-esteem of a woman, as confidence that she is good and welcome. (Obviously, so some men are satisfied with the unassicious and undemanding wife, next to which you can not strain yourself, without fear that she will leave or take it away.)
Gym, swimming pool, beauty salon, SPA-salon, etc. - This is not only external beauty, but also health, and first of all soulful.
Every woman wants to be beloved, valuable and happy. But for some reason, one reaches it, while the other all the time are in problems, they are related to them without respect and they are increasingly falling into depression, and sometimes in various dependencies. How to be if you do not get what you want with all your heart? Change your attitude towards yourself, take yourself and realize that you are worthy of all the best. So let's understand how a woman with low self-esteem behaves.
It happens that in different spheres we feel not equally. For example, a woman needs to be easily confident in itself as in a specialist, and then the professional part of her self-esteem will be high. But this does not mean that she will be confident as a woman.
Women's self-esteem is an inner feeling of its value and attractiveness for the opposite sex. A woman with adequate self-esteem is not afraid of male attention, feels worthy of love and respect. Another attitude towards herself as a woman is strongly influenced by the installations relating to love, relations, female and male. For example, many have a conviction that "love - means suffering and sacrificing." Is it possible with such an installation to treat yourself with respect?
If we do not believe that you are worthy of male attention that a woman is not "not very", then we will behave accordingly.
1. A woman with low self-esteem can not and can not take help, gifts and just male attention. Somewhere inside itself she does not believe that it is worthy to be beloved just like that. Therefore, it is lost or looking for a trick when they say compliments or try to meet.
2. Low self-esteem all the time is found to the woman that she is "not very", What you need to agree on the relationship that she is offered. Who knows, suddenly she will not be able to attract anyone? In the meantime she thinks, this is exactly what will receive: few people attract an insecure woman. As a result, she does not consider himself in the right to choose a man and often turns out to be in relationships from whom it is better to stay away from whom.
3. Another low self-esteem - inability to speak out directly and aloud about their desires. And this applies not only to help or gifts. Even if a man honestly tries to make her good, asks what she wants, then such a woman tells riddles or leaves the answer. Each time a partner has to pull out her desire from her from her, and sooner or later such games are tired of any adequate man. But this state of things is completely satisfied with the one who is not interested in her desires.
A woman with a low self-esteem is afraid of "sagge" a man, it seems to her that she will love it, only if she will adapt to other wishes if she is comfortable and will not want to want something for himself. Unconsciously, she believes that love must be earned, and if it is, it will refuse it. In relations, these installations force women to go to any concessions, if only a man was near, if only we were not thrown. And this is the best way to be where we are not appreciated and do not respect.
4. From here it follows and another sign of low female self-esteem: she does not respect those who are near.
The surrounding reflects our self-esteem. As you appreciate yourself - it will react others to you. Remember your feelings from different people: there are those who need to be nailed - well, the language does not turn. And there are those whom and pulls to kick. What does it depend on? From self-esteem. If there is an inner dignity in man, if he loves himself and respects, he will not allow himself to rude. It will not support communication with those who relate disrespectful, will not suffer this.
5. Our self-esteem is reflected on as we treat other women. A woman with low self-esteem compares himself with others and often sees around solid competitors. If in the depths of the soul you know that such a set of qualities, like yours, no one else, then you will not compete. You have our advantages, another lady has their own. And each will be attractive for those who appreciate its features. If you, for example, high, then you will be attracted those men who love high. That's all.
But if a woman sees a rival in every other lady, it says that in the depths of the soul she feels not unique and not valuable. She compares himself all the time. And it does not matter, it loses in comparison or wins. Indeed, in this case, its attitude towards itself constantly depends on those who ended up.
What prevents how to increase self-esteem?
The fear of being bad, the fear seem egoist, the fear of being abandoned. We feel that if we love and respect yourself, then someone may not like it, what we are talking about. I will not lie and say that everything will be fine. Yes, indeed, there will be people who will not suit. After all, what does "egoist" mean? This is a person who is uncomfortable to others. The one who thinks his head, who is impossible to manage. And some people such a state of affairs will seem very disadvantageous. Do you need such people next to you?
Many of us have a fear that if we begin to demand a respectful relationship, if we begin to love and defend themselves, then become bad. As one wonderful psychotherapist said: "Protecting your borders, you do not become a bad person. You become an adult. "
Opinions are high, yes, things are low.
Russian proverb
The overestimated self-assessment as the quality of personality is a tendency to have overestimated ideas about the importance of their personal activity among other people, their own qualities and feelings, advantages and disadvantages.
Chatting two buddies. One asks: - Listen, and with your self-esteem, how are things? He answered: - Yes, not particularly ... We are the gods people simple ...
Heavy self-esteem is when a person is too good an opinion about its capabilities. Being influenced by the energy of passion, he overestimates his abilities, personal potential, his advantages. Daniel Harms is joking: "Listen, friends! It is impossible in front of me so bow. I am the same as you are all, only better. "
There are three types of self-esteem: overestimated, lowered and adequate. The overestimated self-esteem is when, according to authoritative, competent people, it is higher than adequate. For example, ignorant, unacceptable with a scientist, the view of the connoisseur starts to build and teach. It is tactlessness, uncompatory and overestimated self-esteem.
Heavy self-esteem - measured personality inadequacy. A man inadequately represents his image and, accordingly, inadequately sees what this image can achieve. For example, Mumen imagines himself confident and decisive. People quickly scan the inconsistency between the real person and its ideas about themselves. Inadequate, overestimated self-esteem hampered to find a common language with people. How to find a common language if you are talking to you, as with mummy, did you imagine yourself with a strong marshal Zhukov? Achieve a goal with such a break is extremely difficult.
Illuminated self-esteem - sister of Majuity. Often it asserts themselves at the expense of other people's mistakes, miscalculations and failures. The overseas considers himself better than others, thinks that everyone should obey him and obey.
- Do not you think that you have an overestimated self-esteem? - You say so, as if I am guilty, I'd rather!
By putting high demands, he often puts ambitious, unattainable targets. When a bummer happens with the achievement of goals, it can even get sick. The overseas attributes to itself non-existent virtues or overestims them in terms of development. It always turns out either over the norm, or above a really existing level.
The overseas demonstrates a distorted development of self-consciousness, manifested in the absence of rigor to himself, self-addiction and self-consistency. Being a commitment to the overestimated self-esteem, he intersects egoism in himself, excessive self-confidence and unhealthy selflessness. Natalia Andreeva in Niti Ariadna writes: "Another oddity that is striking me in people. It seems that before seeing in the mirror, they stick on it a picture from the glossy magazine and are not reflected on their reflection, but on the Masterpiece Photoshop. The girl full of ordinary appearance every time sees a fashion model and wures: - Why am I not a star? "
It would seem that the bad thing is that a person thinks about himself better than he really is? As a rule, overestimated self-esteem is usually compensated by the feeling of insecurity. In other words, a platform of overpriced self-esteem is usually served by a low self-esteem, which a person tries to overcome by how much his merit. Like any compensation, inadequate self-esteem provokes constant efforts to maintain the illusion of success at home and other people. Pumping your self-esteem, a person temporarily receives competitive advantages, for example, when casting, a job acceptance. Here wins, confidence, ambitiousness, success.
But soon the fake is detected. It turns out that counterfeit confidence and initiative to work. After a shameful exile from work, depression comes, despondency. Self-esteem falls. A person feels like a loser.
There is another phenomenon described by Irwin Yalom in the book "When Nietzsche Placked": "I know many people who do not like themselves and try to correct the situation, seeking good attitude towards others. Having achieved this, they themselves begin to treat well to themselves. But this does not solve the problem, it is submission to the authority of the other. You must accept yourself - and not to look for ways to achieve my recognition. "
Here, according to psychologists, several signs of hairy self-esteem in humans:
Full confidence in your infallibility and right in any situation.
The non-recognition of authorities - if someone's opinion is contrary to the opinion of such a person, then this opinion is erroneous for him.
The desire to argue and all prove their right.
Absolute certainty is that the cause of his problems and failures is someone or something - some circumstances, but in no way he himself. Such a person never seeks the cause of the problem in itself.
The desire to be better than others, the desire to gain recognition of others, be in the first roles.
"Phone" - he constantly uses the pronoun "I" in my speech. (By the way, one of my acquaintances with an overestimated self-esteem in the letters pronoun "I" always wrote from the capital letter)
Refusal to help. A request for help from such a person suggests that he himself cannot cope with something, and this is humiliating for him.
Self-criticism is sharply reduced, and any criticism of another person is perceived aggressively.
Fear to make a mistake, the desire to always do better than others.
Painful experience about failures, which, if possible, carefully hidden from others.
The material world is filled with false self-esteem. We estimate themselves at the level of the physical body in the context of strength, beauty, health, youth. But try to evaluate yourself at the level of the soul, and immediately discouraging the result. The souls are all equal, only in different ways are due to any qualities of personality. One of the energy of the soul is refracted by meanness, envy, greed. Others - benevolence, compassion and care.
Psychologist Vasily Tushkin writes: "And it may be so possible that people are so accustomed to their estimates, self-esteem at the level of the physical, subtle body, that when spiritual knowledge comes to them, this is a little discouraging. Imagine that a person at the level of physical self-esteem is big, beautiful, young, prominent, wonderful, here, and a thin body, in principle, normal - higher education, there may be several higher education, and in general he will hear a smart person, Not stupid, and then suddenly he learns that he is a spiritual being, which is excellent and from a thin body and physical body. This means that immediately, instantly, all these advantages at the external level, physically, they are almost nothing - everything. Because, we say: "I'm not a body. I'm not a body, I'm not ... I have a personal soul. " And before God, all these are my advantages on the physical and thin level can be simply ridiculous, because they, as it were, are not a lot of things in the spiritual life. "
Peter Kovalev