Dale Carnegie(1888 - 1955) - one of the most successful American teachers of public speaking and popularizers of psychology at the beginning of the last century. De facto, he created practical guides to making the American dream come true, here are the titles of his three most popular works: “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and “How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People.” on people, speaking in public." His books remain popular today.
We selected 10 quotes from them:
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The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past, which you shoulder in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path. "How to stop worrying and start living" |
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Every person I have met is superior to me in some way. And in this sense, I can learn from him. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" |
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Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it attacks his pride, hurts his sense of self-importance and makes him resentful. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" |
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Happiness does not depend on external conditions. It depends on internal conditions. You are not happy or unhappy because of what you have, or because of who you are, where you are, or what you do; your condition is determined by what you think about it all. “How to Build Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” |
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Worry is a habit, and I have already acquired it. "How to stop worrying and start living" |
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I also realized that only a person who knows how to defend his point of view is capable of leading others. "How to stop worrying and start living" |
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To be interesting, be interested. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" |
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A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" |
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Remember that unfair criticism is often a compliment in disguise. Remember that no one ever hits a dead dog. "How to stop worrying and start living" |
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Now I understand that people don’t think about you or me, and they don’t care at all what they say about you and me. They are busy only with themselves, they think only of themselves before breakfast, after breakfast and all the time until ten minutes after midnight. They will be a thousand times more concerned about their own headache than the news of your or my death. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" |
Probably every person whose activities are related to oratory is familiar with the works of Dale Carnegie. If this is the first time you hear this name, we advise you to immediately search the Internet or buy his books, because these are masterpieces that were written more than half a century ago, but remain relevant to this day.
Today we will not consider Carnegie’s biography in detail, or analyze his books, but will pay attention to the best quotes, statements and advice from the American psychologist and writer. Why are Carnegie's quotes interesting? Firstly, they are not unambiguous. After reading this or that phrase, everyone will find something special in it, something that will be suitable specifically for him and his life situations. Secondly, Carnegie is an internationally recognized expert, and his best quotes and advice contain a lot of wisdom and lessons. One small but incredibly precise phrase can make tens of thousands of minds think.
So today we will think a little about the best sayings and quotes of Dale Carnegie, we will try to analyze them, to understand what this great man wanted to tell us.
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1. If you are looking for happiness, then you don’t need to think about gratitude or ingratitude..
Drop duality. Surrender to the inner joy that comes from surrender.
Dale Carnegie understood this world very correctly. We cannot be happy as long as we divide everything that happens into good or bad, into ours and yours, into cold and warm. You need to move away from dualities and perceive everything as it is. Whatever happens in your life, take it for granted, as an experience, as a lesson, as an opportunity to change something, to act differently.
Expectations are another problem that certainly will not make a person happy. Therefore, if you do something, do not expect gratitude or ingratitude. You don’t act in a certain way in order to be praised and told how great you are. Indulge in inner joy and enjoy everything that happens, regardless of the assessment of others.
2. You should never settle scores with your enemies, because in the end this will bring more harm to you than to them.
Although there is such a thing as “blood feud”, and there are people who live by the principle “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”, but is this correct? Believe me, revenge will not make you happy and will not bring joy and peace into your life. Learn to forgive people, learn to understand them and accept all their actions. It is much easier when you say within yourself: “No matter what you do, I forgive you. Go in peace."
Of course, for some this may seem ridiculous, saying that if I or my family were offended, then you need to offend in return, take revenge, do as they do to you. Remember that evil begets even greater evil, and your desire for revenge will bring many problems and disappointments into your life. We do many things out of emotion, and only later, when we assess the situation soberly, do we realize how much stupidity we have done. Don't do anything stupid, learn to forgive and be tolerant.
3. Act like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people who are unpleasant to you.
There are so many wonderful things in life, so many pleasant and positive things, we just often don’t notice these banal things. Don't focus on problems and the people who create those problems. Do not think about those who are unpleasant to you, about those who bring sorrow and disappointment into your life. After all, the law of attraction says: “What you focus your attention on comes into your life at a particular speed.” If you constantly think about problems, then there will be even more of them. Therefore, bring joy, positive thinking, and faith in a bright future into your life. Believe me, life is not so long to waste it thinking about unpleasant things and people.
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4. Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain.
Perhaps the shortest quote from Dale Carnegie, but the deepest in meaning. Many people understand that there is no need to criticize, condemn and complain, but not many people think about why. Let's find out. What is criticism is the awareness that you are higher and better than a person. Who told you this? Your own ego? Well, you don’t need to put yourself above others, because you don’t know all their life situations, and you can’t criticize a person for what they are like at the moment. The only person you have the right to criticize is yourself. Condemnation also comes from criticism. Who are we to judge other people? We often see grains of sand in the eyes of others, while not noticing the logs in our own. We love to savor and condemn our neighbor’s problems, but at the same time we are unable to notice and understand our own troubles.
Complaining is another negative aspect of our lives that you should eliminate. Complaining and making yourself a victim will not change anything. As mentioned above, what you concentrate your thoughts on comes into your life. If you constantly think about problems, complain about a bad life, then it will become even worse.
5. Remember, your interlocutor may be completely wrong. But he doesn't think so. There is no need to judge him.
Each of us has our own point of view, our own thoughts and vision of certain situations. Let your thoughts not always coincide with the views of your interlocutors. But this is natural. We are all individuals, we all have the right to freedom of worldview. Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where your friend talks about something with which you do not agree, then it is better to simply accept him, accept his point of view. We are not saying that you should change yourself and your vision, you just have to learn to accept other people for who they are. The desire to argue and change them will lead to conflict. You need it?
6. Know how to take the position of another person and understand what he needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.
Don’t look at the world only from the position of “I” and “I need.” From the pages of fashion magazines, from TV screens, we are told that selfishness is normal, that you need to live for yourself and not notice anyone else, and that’s the only way you can achieve success. But few people compare the concepts of success and happiness. Will you be happy if you don’t have true friends, good acquaintances, if you are valued only for your bank account? Steve Jobs once said: “Money is not the most important thing. I don’t want to be the richest dead person in the cemetery.”
Learn to understand other people, see their needs and desires. You should never put yourself higher, think that because you have more money, you have the right to control the lives of other people. Learn to live in harmony with this world and with all people.
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7. If a person tries to use you for his own purposes, cross him out from among your acquaintances.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Yes, you can understand a person, understand his motives, you can even accept such behavior, but this does not mean that you should allow him to use you for selfish purposes. If you see that they are smiling falsely at you and “pouring pink syrups” just for the sake of profit, then try to say goodbye to such a person. Believe me, it is better to do this right away and separate your life paths, rather than get into a very difficult and unpleasant situation in the future.
8. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.
A very successful quote from Dale Carnegie, which says that you can find a way out of any situation. Everything that you consider to be problems and failures is actually not such. What makes a situation problematic? That's right, our attitude towards it. Some, when faced with problems, become discouraged, begin to worry and fear that they will not be able to find the right way out. Others, when faced with a similar situation in their lives, think completely differently. They understand that a problem is not a problem at all, but an opportunity to analyze their actions, understand what was done wrong, realize certain points and do everything again, only taking into account the experience and knowledge gained.
Someone who receives a lemon may grimace and say, “Ugh, what disgusting,” while someone else will make lemonade and enjoy it on a hot summer day.
9. Stay busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.
I don’t even know what to add here. In essence, this phrase says it all. Always find something to do: work, write, study, draw, sing, learn, actively look at nature outside the window. When you are busy, then no problems are significant; when you are busy, then all difficulties disappear. The main thing is that this activity brings pleasure, that you really enjoy what you are doing.
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Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) - American psychologist and writer, author of books on self-improvement, successful communication skills and public speaking; son of a poor farmer.
What makes you happy or unhappy is not what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing. What you think about makes you happy or unhappy.
We come into contact with the world around us through four, and only four, points. We are judged and categorized by these four points of contact: what we do, what we look like, what we say, and how we say it.
The noblest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what is most dear to him.
Finding naturalness in manners is the simplest thing. You just need to forget about yourself - about the impression you are trying to make.
Inaction creates doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to overcome fear, then don’t sit around thinking fruitlessly. Go ahead and get busy.
Self-pity and worries about current circumstances are not only a waste of energy, but also the most dangerous of bad habits.
Take advantage of this opportunity! All life is an accident. The greatest success is usually achieved by those who are willing to take action and take risks.
Most of the most important achievements in this world were achieved by people who did not give up trying even when it seemed that there was no longer any hope of success.
Cultivate success from failure. Disappointment and failure are the two most reliable steps to success.
A person learns from mistakes and tries again, acting in a new way.
Ardent enthusiasm, backed by common sense and perseverance, is the quality that most often ensures success.
When entering into relationships with people, remember that you are dealing with emotional, not logical creatures.
It is impossible to achieve success by doing what you don't like.
The essence of everything is to give pleasure and receive pleasure.
Fear not those who argue, but those who deceive.
If you want to collect honey, don’t ruin the hive.
To flatter means to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.
Each of us, whether a butcher, a baker or a king on the throne, likes people who admire us.
A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.
Remember that the person talking to you is hundreds of times more interested in himself, his desires and problems, than in you and your affairs.
If you want to be a good communicator, become a good listener first.
Criticism is like a carrier pigeon: it always comes back.
The expression on a woman's face is much more important than her clothes.
Tackle the hard tasks first. Easy problems will solve themselves.
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is desiring what you have received.
It is human nature to blame anyone but yourself.
In your relationships with people, do not forget that you are not dealing with logical creatures, but with emotional creatures, full of prejudices and driven in their actions by pride and vanity.
There is only one way in the world to get someone to do something... And that is to make the other person want to do it. Remember - there is no other way.
By being genuinely interested in other people, you can make more friends in two months than you can make in two years by trying to interest other people in your special someone.
The surest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what he values above all else.
Every nation considers itself superior to other nations. This gives rise to patriotism and... wars.
The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
Of all the sure-fire devices that the devils of hell have ever invented to destroy love, the most deadly are nagging. This technique never fails. Like the bite of a king cobra, it always poisons, always kills.
An ordinary person who is married is much happier than a genius who lives alone.
Remember that unfair criticism is often a compliment in disguise. Remember that no one ever hits a dead dog.
Of course, your husband has his faults! If he were a saint, he would never have married you.
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie is an American teacher, psychologist, and writer. He stood at the origins of the creation of the theory of communication, translating the scientific developments of psychologists of that time into the practical field, developing his own concept of conflict-free communication. Founded courses on self-improvement, effective communication skills, speaking and others...
Act as if you are already happy and you will actually become happier.
Keep busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.
Never try to settle scores with your enemies, because by doing so you will do yourself much more harm than them. Do like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people you don't like.
There is only one way to earn love in this world - stop demanding it and start giving love without hoping for gratitude.
How many of you have ever sawed sawdust in your life? Of course, no one can saw sawdust. They are already sawed. It's the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that have already passed, you are sawing sawdust.
If you want to change people, start with yourself - it’s both more useful and safer.
The expression on a woman's face is much more important than her clothes.
Three quarters of the people you meet tomorrow crave sympathy. Show it and they will understand you!
Do not allow yourself to be upset over trifles that should be despised and forgotten. Remember that life is too short to waste it on trifles.
Remember, happiness does not depend on who you are or what you have. It depends entirely on what you think about.
The surest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what he values above all else.
If a person is trying to use you for his own purposes, remove him from your list of friends.
“A smile costs nothing, but it is highly valued...”
Don't imitate others. Find yourself and be yourself.
Know how to take the position of another person and understand what HE needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.
Three subjects are the most interesting in the world... Sex, property and religion. With the help of the first we can create life, with the help of the second we maintain it, and with the help of the third we hope to continue it in another world.
“Every person is a complete fool for at least five minutes a day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding this limit."
You are not happy or unhappy because of what you have, or because of who you are, where you are, or what you do; your condition is determined by what you think about it all.
It's human nature to blame anyone but yourself...
The expression you wear on your face is much more important than the clothes you put on yourself.
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Writer, publicist, psychologist and teacher Dale Carnegie thought and lived by the principle “there are no bad people in the world.” But there are unpleasant circumstances that can be dealt with, and it’s not worth spoiling the lives and mood of others because of them. In general, this is what he wrote about in his books and talked about at his lectures.
You can relate to Carnegie in different ways, just as you can read or not read, act or inaction - everyone has their own choice. website I collected 25 quotes from Dale Carnegie, for which I can definitely thank the psychologist.
- Every person is a fool for at least five minutes a day. The real wisdom is not to exceed this time limit.
- If you want to collect honey, don’t ruin the hive.
- The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past, which you shoulder in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path.
- A smile costs nothing, but it is highly appreciated...
- If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.
- When a person starts a war with himself, he is already worth something.
- Of course, your husband has his faults! If he were a saint, he would never have married you.
- Keep busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.
- The expression you wear on your face is much more important than the clothes you put on yourself.
- If you want to change people, start with yourself. This is both healthier and safer.
- Imagine the worst consequences that your action could entail, accept them in advance and act!
- Remember that a person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.
- The secret of our unhappiness is that we have too much leisure to think about whether we are happy or not.
- For a wise person, a new life begins every day.
- Many people call a doctor when they only need an audience.
- Always remember that children love to listen to adults talk - and be on your guard.
- People are not interested in me or you. In the morning, at noon and after lunch, they are busy only with themselves.
- No tomorrow. The day of man's salvation is today.
- Do not be afraid of enemies who attack you, fear friends who flatter you.
- This is human nature in action: the guilty will blame anyone but himself.
- Fear exists nowhere else except in your mind.
- Know how to take the position of another person and understand what he needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.
- A strong desire to learn something is already 50% of success.
- Act as if you are already happy and you will actually become happier.
- There is only one way to earn love in this world - stop demanding it and start giving love, without expecting gratitude.