You woke up on Sunday morning and, it would seem, you should feel joy and peace because you don't have to go anywhere today. But instead, you feel the tension, your nerves on edge. A familiar state? About 65% of people all over the world feel about the same at least once a month. On Sunday morning, they are unhappy with the fact that tomorrow they will have to go to work, this need depressing and spoils the mood for almost the whole day. Hence the depression of the weekend.
Bad mood turns into malaise.
But this is only half the trouble. Pathological fear of the inevitability of Monday turns into physical symptoms: heart rate increases, breathing accelerates, sweating intensifies, headache begins, diarrhea is possible. Nervousness, irritability, and anxiety increase. Against the background of such a picture, many have insomnia, some fall asleep quite easily, but wake up several times in the middle of the night, remembering that tomorrow they need to do routine tasks - this happens with schoolchildren or students on the night before the exam.
What to do and how to get rid of weekend depression. Instructions for action.
Such a problem must be dealt with. Start doing this on Friday, from the moment when you are still at work, but have already begun to pack up home. Open up your task calendar for next week and get a feel for the fun you’re doing, starting Monday. Prioritize all tasks in your mind, think about how important it is to complete them. If there are any papers, arrange them according to the principle "from simple to difficult." Before leaving, take a look around your workplace and smile, rejoicing in the realization of your own importance.
If all this does not help, is it time to quit your unloved job, since it causes you so much grief? Find something more suitable.
When you get home, think about what you will do this weekend. Go out of town, enjoy watching your favorite movies and reading fiction at home? Or visit your parents? Find pleasure in everything, rest not only physically, but also mentally. To do this, take a time to be in silence. Meditation is a great way to distract yourself from worries and worries.
If you have something planned for the weekend, rest often in between. If you do not have time to complete all of them, it is not scary. When you are busy doing various things and there is no time for yourself personally, dissatisfaction and fear of Monday comes. Therefore, learn to be a happy person.
Many of you have heard of weekend depression. The mood curve for the whole planet "pleases" with its predictable uniformity, even scary. The mood curve of the overwhelming majority of people slowly rises on Thursday evening, peaks on Friday evening, stays at an altitude all Saturday, and falls into a pit on Sunday morning. There, in the pit of depression, many of us sit all Sunday, and our "Monday is a hard day" is just an echo of hellish Sunday. Many people joke: Why does my Monday morning start on Sunday afternoon? This is a bitter joke. Where did we do our Sunday? Who dared to steal this beautiful day from us?
To answer this question, one must turn to the very first Abrahamic religion - to Judaism and its commandment that one must "keep the Sabbath."
"Do your business for six days, and on the seventh day be at rest, so that your bull and your donkey can rest and the son of your slave and a stranger can rest." (Shemot, 23:12)
Later Abrahamic religions have "shifted" the Sabbath. Christians on Sunday, Mohammedans on Friday. But the essence of the commandment does not change much from this. Six days a week - work and hustle. On the seventh day - rest from all things "for yourself" and do not dare to fuss, sit in peace, like Buddha.
Moreover, on this seventh day it was prescribed (again strictly) not just to “do nothing,” but to turn one's gaze to the higher, to the spiritual. Do not have idle conversations, but, for example, read soulful books, go to a sermon in a temple, help the poor.
It was believed that human life is very difficult, he just had no time to "think about the soul." And so all six days in a row. But one single day was a luxurious gift to everyone, everyone, everyone, even the poor and the beggars. On this day - everyone could afford to be an "intellectual", "aristocrat of the spirit", "philosopher", "idle class", a person reflecting on the meaning of life and lofty matters, instead of plowing in slave labor to pay off debts, as usually.
It was a strict gift - a person was obliged to spend Sunday (Saturday) just like that. And the employer, in turn, also had no right to force his employee to violate the "seventh day of rest."
There was no day off at the time of depression. On the contrary, everyone loved Sunday. Even when it was the only day off.
What happened to us? Everything is very simple - it became uninteresting to think about spiritual things. But I wanted to talk not about this, but about what - how to make the seventh day of the once commanded compulsory rest - a psychotherapeutic practice, which, in fact, it has always been?
To do this, we need to turn to the origins, to the commandments of the Torah and commentaries on the Torah.
Two types of work: avoda and melaha
When the Torah deals with the commandment of keeping the Sabbath, the word “melacha” is taken for the concept of “work”, and not “avoda”.
Although in Hebrew both words, melaha and avoda, mean work. But with nuances.
Due to my ignorance, I have always believed that on Saturday labor for profit, for gaining (avoda) is especially forbidden. Well, for example, you can't take home work from the office in order to get a bonus and a promotion from your boss, they say, I'm smart and hard-working, unlike you.
In general, I believed that Saturday forbids the emphatically - avoda - work for profit, for a salary, for a candy.
But the rabbi explained everything to me. It turns out that no one even thinks to talk about such work as avoda - on Saturday, it is so obvious that "this is impossible"!
Even a fool would not think to clarify that the seventh day off from work prohibits "making money", doing "business". (I'm a fool.)
No! In the Torah, it is written only about the prohibition of labor called melach!
The ban on Melach's work on the seventh day
Melach's work is creative work. Creative work, masterful work, skillful work. Melach is when we ... improve, perfect, put in order, or - create-create something new that did not exist before. And all this is impossible.
That, it turns out, what kind of work is forbidden to us by the progenitor of all Abrahamic religions and European spirituality!
You can scream - how is it? What about my hobbies? Don't I serve God by embroidering an icon or even just - peonies - with a cross? Can't I wash my windows for the glory of God? And make out a song on a guitar? That's how. You can not. That is, you can, but get-sign the depression of the day off.
And now a powerful psychotherapeutic practice begins, an exposition of its essence, and you yourself will understand everything.
What should each of us know, feel, feel on Saturday (on the seventh day)?
Each of us, if he wants to live without depression, must leave his “Human command post” strictly once a week. Do not even pick dry leaves from flowers in a pot. To throw off the shoulders of the "burden of a white man", the shepherd of Nature and more stupid people, and admit his "smallness" in this world.
A person should, as it were, “step aside” and allow this world to live without the intervention of a person and his Mind, for at least one day.
The seventh day is the day of our complete harmony with the world. For this, on the seventh day, we accept the world as a whole and do not change anything in it. As if ... we wave our hand at the uncleaned floor and say: "I surrender to the will of God!"
Torah connoisseurs say that the seventh day is a rehearsal or a demo version of that Other World in which we will all find ourselves after our earthly life ends. This "other world" is called Olam Ha-ba or the World to Come.
And to be honest, this is not a “rehearsal”, as I put it, but a real “wonderful” manifestation, a manifestation of That world in This, ours with you.
That is why when we do not leave the world alone, but continue to “perfect” ourselves and ourselves, we commit a terrible sin and stupidity - we do not give the opportunity for the world to manifest itself in this.
Why once a week does the earthly world need to invite another world - the Coming World Ola A-ba?
How should I put it ... for disinfection, or something ...
Well, since the Other world cannot manifest itself in the earthly world (because of us, who do not rest on the seventh day), then living in our earthly world is getting worse and worse.
Olam a-ba - the perfect world. But if you are blind, deaf and dumb, then you can pass by even the perfect world and not notice it anywhere.
Therefore, on the seventh day, we must learn to feel the world as perfect. Then we will not pass by Olam A-ba, in due time.
We must by an effort of will leave this earthly world without our ingenious improvements - once a week. For this we must repeat as a koan or as an affirmation the mysterious words of the great Rashi: "for you all the work has already been done."
On the seventh day, we learn to experience - gratitude to the Master and gratefully use only what he has in store for us.
Modern readers of the weekly Torah chapters speak about it in general harshly, like this:
"Resting on the seventh day, doing only spiritual activities on this day, we show that we do not consider ourselves the masters of the world. We proclaim the Lord of the world - the Almighty."
You are away, relax
Imagine that you are cordially invited overnight, a table is set for you, a bed is made. You came knowing that the owners were waiting for you and tried.
And so you start defiantly - wash their plates and forks, ask for a fresher kitchen towel, and then say, “so, I don’t eat this at all, I won’t have it, boil me a couple of eggs, no, I’ll cook it myself, otherwise, you’ll still cook ”... Then you go into the bedroom, take your bedclothes out of your bag and disgustingly make the bed — with your linen.
This is approximately the same from the point of view of the sages of the Torah, the behavior of a person who allows himself on the seventh day - creative work aimed at improving the world - is the work of a Melach.
Ability to relax
The ability to relax, “let go of the situation,” that is what the Sabbath commandment is! This and only this is the purpose of the commandment, and not a ban on working for profitable money, of course.
In yoga, the same relaxation is promoted by the Shavasana pose - the "Dead Man" pose. The same as Saturday, Sabbath in Judaism.
In Zen, this is the practice of non-action - wei wu-wei.
Now you understand how to prevent and treat the depression of the day off, common to all modern earthlings?
Elena Nazarenko
If you wake up groaning on Mondays, and the immersion in the work day is worth a tremendous effort - rest assured, you are prone to Monday depression.
It's no surprise that we hate Mondays. They always seem to sneak up on us as soon as we really relax and start enjoying the weekend. This is the least productive day during the work week. Carla Wood, business coach and founder of All Strategy, believes this should not be the case.
Follow these tips to reduce depression and feel better these days of the week.
1. Start Monday Sunday Night
Wood believes that the reason Mondays are so hard is that it is difficult to switch from the personal rhythm, attitude and lifestyle that we lead on weekends.
« We live in a personal rhythm. The need to accelerate causes a feeling of depression, the same when we see in front of us an insurmountable mountain, which we have to climb at the beginning of the week”She says. While you enjoy every second of freedom on Sunday night, just a couple of minutes of mental preparation for the week ahead will help you overcome Monday depression.
2. Start with priorities
Make a list of tasks for the next day and add them to your calendar. Rather than starting the week with a clean slate, remind yourself of the priorities of the day. This will help you avoid the stupor from the tide of tasks that tend to hit on Monday morning. A scheduled department meeting or project team, which defines the priorities of the week, will help everyone to immerse themselves in work without difficulty.
3. Start your day with something that gives you energy.
Go for a run or gym. This start to the day will make the body move and give a boost of creative energy until the evening. Being depressed on Monday does not mean you hate your job or are depressed.
« Chances are, you just got stuck and didn't catch the momentum of the coming week.Wood explains. Any activity that helps increase energy will put you back on track to be productive.
4. Connect with colleagues
When you arrive at the office, consider chatting with colleagues first. The simple exchange of phrases at the water cooler can sometimes be a powerful incentive to get started. " Therefore, I look forward to Monday and communication with colleagues, instead of sitting at the table and collecting my thoughts for half a day."Says Wood.
5. Find a mentor
If your Monday depression comes too often, it could be a symptom of a deeper problem. Wood recommends that entrepreneurs, especially those who work alone, find a mentor and discuss with them goals and how to achieve them: “ This will allow you to see a different perspective and look at your work more responsibly.».
Severe depression on Mondays can be the result of overwhelm. A mentor will help you establish the true cause.
6. Get enough sleep
Gretchen Rubin, the author of the project "Happiness" is of the opinion that severe stress on Monday caused by lack of sleep.
40% of Americans, according to a sociological survey, sleep much less than the recommended seven hours. The fact is that American workers use weekends to finish routine tasks for which there is not enough time during the week. But such catch-up attempts are not always successful.
7. Don't forget to turn off the TV
Her second piece of advice concerns television viewing. If you have a favorite movie, watch it. But when finished, turn off the TV.If you fall asleep on the couch flipping through channels, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed.
People often claim that they watch TV because they are too tired to do anything else. But then they lie in front of the TV until midnight, instead of falling asleep. “You should just go to bed,” says Rubin.
8. The same should be done with the news - turn off
There is a type of people addicted to news. They are consumed by the process of keeping track of new details, especially when something dramatic happens. At the same time, the psychosomatic state also deteriorates sharply. The author advises to spend no more than 20 minutes studying the news in order to keep abreast of events, and then disconnect in the literal and figurative sense.
This finding is supported by recent research. People who followed the 2013 Boston Marathon, during which the explosion occurred, were more stressed in the news than those who were on the scene at the time.
9. Don't put off fun for the weekend
Often we are so bogged down in our responsibilities that we cannot and do not want to find time for entertainment on weekdays, hoping to then "come off" on weekends. These postponed positives include meeting friends. But on weekends, their worries come, and it is not easy to accommodate everything put off in two days.
You need to be open to meetings, Rubin said. It is useful to chat with friends in the middle of the week, go to workouts and morning walks. Then neither weekdays nor holidays will leave the feeling of being wasted.
Irina Silacheva , especially for E-xecutive.ru
Bymaterials: BusinessInsider.com, Huffingtonpost.com
In our country, disputes continue over whether long New Year holidays are needed, whether it is advisable to combine the May weekends and, in general, whether we have too many / few holidays. These discussions have economic reasons, but today we will look at the psychological aspects of the issue of exit.
It is interesting to note that some people prefer to rest longer, while others, although not against such an opportunity, complain about the difficulties of returning to a normal work rhythm and, as a result, conclude: “It is better to work and rest in one stable and constant rhythm, but all plans for "capital rest" are attributed to the period of annual leave. " But there are those for whom not only combined weekends and holidays, but even ordinary Saturday and Sunday present a considerable problem - what to devote their free time to, where to put yourself, how to survive these two - and, God forbid, more - non-working days ... The layman here will throw up his hands and quote the classic: "It's boring in this world, gentlemen." asks the question - is there a "weekend neurosis" lurking here?
The development of our civilization can, in particular, be characterized by how, along with scientific, technical and social progress, the ratio of working and free time has changed. It is pertinent to recall that Karl Marx laid in the model of communist society a weighty priority of personal (allocated for free creativity and education) time in relation to that part of the week that a happy and harmonious person of the future was to devote to social production. These and other progressive ideas at one time influenced the state of affairs in the field of human rights to rest, and the work of most people turned out to be somehow balanced with the possibilities not only to restore their strength, but also to expand the space for their own activity. Together with significant changes in the sphere of life support and everyday life, a person received a certain number of hours of the week, regarding which he was completely free - do what you want. Erich Fromm, a prominent psychologist-existentialist, at one time showed well that the situation of freedom is far from comfortable for each of us (see his book "Escape from Freedom"), and another existential, Victor Frankl, became interested in the experiences of those who experience the present before the period when the work week ends. For such people (and their number is very impressive), we have to state a kind of "curse of free time": time unoccupied with work and worries is so difficult to bear that they perceive the approach of such with great alarm and try to avoid it by any means. Frankl described the whole psychological complex of anxious perception of the weekend and gave this complex a name "Weekend".
This is an entirely adequate - if not in a strictly clinical, then in a psychological sense - description of a widespread contemporary problem. It is enough to pay attention to the frequently used phrase "kill time" to be puzzled by the question - did those who utter it receive a voucher for immortality? "Killing" time that you already have limited - how far does that go from literal suicide? This is possible only where this time is perceived not only as previously lost (and, thus, not quite “alive”), but also having a “lethal” potential in relation to itself. And then killing time means killing the enemy (most likely, until the enemy did something similar to you).
In fact, if we consider the experiences of a person subject to “weekend neurosis”, we will see a specific “couple”: 1) a state of panic anxiety (in fact, an experience of impending danger) before the weekend, and 2) a state of desolation, depression of life, internal devastation, boredom, passing into melancholy, and suppression of all vital impulses during a period of relative inactivity and / or solitude. This is, if not death, then a dream - empty, not bringing pleasure, "dead"; and the fear of its coming is quite explainable.
Such sufferings are characteristic of depressive patients, with the difference that with "weekend neurosis" there is some activity that can, at least for a while, distract from the experience of total depression and anxiety in front of unemployment. This is how both systematic employment and the willingness to go to work on weekends are motivated, to undertake not very necessary repairs, to go around shopping centers for hours in order to “find something interesting” and, in spite of fatigue, go to night discos. But the moment comes to return home, and what they tried to avoid meets with inexorable cruelty - emptiness, despondency,. It doesn't matter if it lasts three days or only a couple of hours before bedtime (which is often disturbed with such a neurosis), even in one instant of collision with this reality a big and sad truth about your life is revealed.
It would be a mistake to think that "weekend neurosis" occurs only in single people. Whole families sometimes find themselves in such trouble! This can be understood by the chaotic and unproductive activity in which other families are involved - they are also helplessly and vainly trying to fill the void that appears on weekends, and the situation is noticeably aggravated where the relationship is superficial, or even openly antagonistic. Being surrounded by family members does not always create an atmosphere of emotional closeness, and where there is no warmth and sincerity, longing for deep, genuine relationships can develop even more acutely than in a situation of complete solitude.
A special test in this regard falls when it comes time to celebrate holidays that are uniquely linked to family comfort - for example, New Year. The tradition of gathering at a common table, giving each other gifts, congratulating and exchanging wishes is so ingrained in our minds that it is extremely difficult to accept a situation in which you - albeit for good reasons - found yourself on such a night alone or in a mediocre company. Against the background of the colors and sounds of the holiday, personal isolation and lack of warmth, sincere participation and genuine human understanding so necessary for each of us becomes piercingly obvious. It is not surprising that such a "holiday" can bring a real one.
What is the reason for the possibility of such destructiveness and gloom of weekends and holidays?
Obviously, on such days it becomes extremely difficult not to notice that during the busy period there is simply no time to look. Moreover, if you don't really want to deal with this! Unpleasant emotions, deep, feeling of helplessness - these and other problematic experiences are the more willingly postponed "for later", the less skill and / or strength we have to do something with them. Everyday whirlwind can relatively successfully help "sweep under the carpet" our own mental conflicts, but free time, like a litmus test, shows the very dissatisfaction with our own life, which we do not always have the courage to admit. In such circumstances, any sudden business trip, global corporate event or occasion to study an exotic language are picked up with a bang. Alas, the state of one's own health can be taken into account in the last place, and the real meaning of this burdensome activity is covered by rationalizations on the topic of personal growth and professional development. The syndrome of total involvement in work, unfortunately, does not always indicate a successful professional self-determination - it is often caused by the same anxiety in front of "untamed" free time.
Free time is a dream come true for humanity. The need to earn their daily bread by hard work for many is irrevocably a thing of the past. But it seems that in the pursuit of this dream, people have lost something important, something without which free time turns into a curse. Agree, the paradoxical outcome of centuries of efforts to free a person from the need to engage in exhausting survival every minute of his life. It often happens - “what we fought for, we ran into it”. However, it is no less obvious that a return to the past - a difficult life arrangement in which there was no time for the holidays - will not give the desired relief.
The way out is not to return something previously lost, but to achieve something that, perhaps, we did not have yet - the ability to do what we really want, to live the life that we really yearn for, see what's really going on. Weekend neurosis is a painful phenomenon, but, like any symptom of unhappiness, it contains an indication of potential. And in dealing with conflict, there is nothing more harmful than trying to get rid of it as soon as possible. Much wiser and more promising is such an approach in which there is sincere attention to what is happening, the willingness to make the necessary efforts to truly correct the situation and, of course, the courage to admit the truth.
It may not be possible to carry out such work alone, and the help of a professional psychologist will be most effective here. In a reference book on psychiatry, you will not find such a disease - "weekend neurosis", this is a conditional, one might say, the author's psychological syndrome. But its development also contains such painful features and patterns that it is very difficult to overcome without special knowledge and methods. And in a situation where the symptoms of this disorder are very pronounced, getting rid of them on their own inevitably involves unconscious psychological defenses, which greatly aggravates and confuses the matter.