In our daily life, we are confronted with various emotions with which we can not always cope. And it significantly reduces the quality of our life. More often, these are negative emotions "prevent us from living", but there are also situations when positive emotions are given us to unwanted life scenarios. This leads to the fact that we are not giving our lives, and we are boring as a sheet in the wind in an incomprehensible direction, and sometimes just in a circle. As a result, we do not implement all our capabilities and live life that we do not like.
In order to take the brazers of the board of their own lives in their hands, we just need to deal with the topic of emotion management. It is based on its emotions and feelings we accept the lion's share of their decisions both in personal life and work. And in this article I will reveal the key points of development and management of your internal states.
Each of these moments this includes a huge burnt of knowledge in which you can dive endlessly. Therefore, in this article, I will designate them, and we will explain them in detail in the following articles and also on my YouTube I have already laid out a series of video on this topic.
Emotion essence
Modern science has long revealed that each object (including a living organism) has its radiation, its field.
Also, we all know that these radiation can strongly affect living organisms (for example, radar radiation can kill flying birds. We can catch these waves and radiation using antennas and disclose in the form of a television picture or sound radio.
The human psyche constantly reads all these waves and itself is a kind of energy field. Modern devices can measure this field, and the ancient teachings call this field aura.
Emotion manifestations: Thoughts, feelings, feelings
Our psyche reads and reveals these fields on three levels.
- This is the level of thoughts. These are pictures, images and sounds that we (also as a body or radio receiver) can accept and disclose with your head. These images can be associated with both with us and with other people. They can reflect our past, present and possible future.
- This is the level of emotions and feelings. Any our thought is always accompanied by any feeling or emotion. We do not always realize her, but it is always there. It may be fear, anger, regret, despondency, grief, joy, happiness, love, etc.
- This is the level of sensations. Our body always feels these emotions. It can heat or cold, tingling, pressure, compressive, pain, pain, etc. Example: "Mountain from the shoulders fell", "com in the throat", "stone on the heart", twisted the belly, etc. At the same time, we can feel it both inside our body and beyond.
The essence of emotions is a kind of energy-information clot in our psyche, which we can 1) consider in the form of images and sounds 2) to feel like emotion or feeling 3) to feel your body as a physical impact on the body.
And all these three levels are present in our psyche at the same time.
Emotion management mechanisms: attention, awareness and accommodation.
If, for example, you are constantly spinning any obsessive thoughts in your head and you do not know how to get rid of them, then you can switch your attention to feelings and determine what kind of feeling is behind these thoughts. This may be the fear in which you do not confess. But as soon as you recognize it, aware and live - he will let you go and obsessive thoughts will leave you forever.
If you are overcome any feelings and you do not know what to do with it, then you can switch attention to your body and answer yourself which part of the body you feel the sensations associated with this feeling. What form are these sensations (most often in the form of a ball). What does this look like this feeling in composition (on something solid, liquid or gaseous).
Sadness, despondency, regret we most often feel like some kind of gray cloud somewhere in the body. Soased pain, humiliation, depression can feel like a compressed solid, black stone. All forms of anger usually like fire in somewhere in the body. Fear as a gray fog. Condemnation and rigid principles can feel like gray metal. Disgusted as something green and most often liquid. And the insult is yellow.
By the way, any color has as a positive so negative emotion. That is, it can be green as disgust and love. Yellow as a resentment, so joy. But they will never confuse, we always know this negative or positive feeling.
The experience of hundreds of consultations showed that almost anyone can perceive all these levels using the concentration of attention. And realizing the situation in all its depths and at all levels the person transforms it.
Awareness is the light that transforms any negative (dark) state. At a certain level of skill, a person can transform l.yube negative condition in a few minutes.
Accommodation
An ordinary person cannot control the emergence of emotions in the psyche. The situation simply occurs and we have a certain emotional charge. And then he has two options:
- suppress inside these emotions;
- throw them.
In the first case, this happens, for example, when a person has a ban on the manifestation of aggression or unwillingness to show itself weak or the desire to hide fear. This can lead to the fact that, for example, a bowl of patience will be overflowed and anger in the form of a lute, uncontrolled rage will turn into people. Or if a person has strong internal control, he will suppress them once and forever in itself. But this energy-information clush will not disappear anywhere, it will fall somewhere in the body and will destroy it. Those who are engaged in psychosomatics have already proven that anger leads to a reduction in biliary tract, which leads to stir bile and forming stones with all the ensuing consequences.
The second option is more preferred. But here the form of residence of these emotions is very important. They must be accommodated as consciously, without causing harm to other people and themselves. Our emotions are like gasoline in the car's tank. We can start the engine and recycle this fuel. That is, live them. It is meaning if there is anger, then to afford it if the fear is willing, if there is a lot of pain, and throw the stormy joy with a laugh.
To utilize negative emotions in the relationship, very effective technique. Read about it in the article by reference.
Table emotions
This table reflects a list of all possible feelings and emotions.
From myself I will add that, for example, the abundance is a combination of depressed indulgence and pain. Shame is anger on yourself for any of its manifestation. Hate this reluctance to see one or another image of the situation is a rejection of the situation.
In this article, I did not reveal many important aspects of this topic, such as:
- principle here and now
- the logic of the existence of each specific emotion
- stages of development of emotional intelligence
- exchange states between people
- how in certain states there is a separate person and groups of people (family or labor collective)
- scale emotional tones
- examples from the practice of accommodation / study of different states
- why dreams are not implemented
- as love and dream turns into disappointment, regret, then pain, then anger and hatred, and then in fear of repetition.
Some of these are covered in other articles on this site. Another part I have on Yutub Channel.
Video "why dreams are not implemented" in this article, as it directly follows from this topic. And explains how to manage his psyche and life with the help of emotions and images.
And for the work of good skill of transformation and management of emotions, at least three months of collaboration are needed. To do this, sign up for advice and we will make our work plan.
Yours faithfully,
psychologist Borisov Dmitry
We all are well known by experience: when it comes to making decisions and determining the line of behavior, feeling takes into account every little thing no less, and often more than thinking. That is why in the late 90s. Psychologists have increasingly began to say that for the successful implementation of the personality in life and activity, the most important thing is to have the ability to effectively interact with the surrounding people, be able to navigate in various situations, correctly identify personal and emotional features of others, find adequate ways to communicate with them.
Today, so that you take place a one-person personality, you need, in addition to the high intelligence coefficient (IQ), also high emotionality (EQ). These two indicators are inextricably linked. Emotional intelligence (Eng. Emotional Intelligence, EI) is the abilities of a person who participate in the awareness and management of their own emotions and emotions around.
"Invented" emotional intelligence American scientists Peter Salovee and Jack Meyer In 1990. Then together by S. David Caruso The researchers proposed their model of emotional intelligence, a model of new abilities. What? First of all, these are the ability of perception, inspired by emotions contain information about us, about other people and the world around us. Emotions are the type of data, which is why it is so important to determine exactly what we are experiencing and what people experience. Our emotions (mood) determine our mental processes. In a bad mood, we think and behave quite differently, not as in good. Simple manifestations of emotional intelligence are the key to health, the conquest of leadership, as well as raise foresight, ambitiousness, self-esteem and contribute to the best mutual understanding.
American psychologist Daniel Gowman. developed the ideas of his predecessors and proposed an emotional intelligence model that is based on five key competencies. It is not necessary that all five points were explicitly expressed, it will be enough if they will be the emotional knowledge of oneself and the correct self-esteem.
1. Knowledge of yourself
The more we learn about themselves, the better we can control and choose the problem of behavior necessary in one way or another. It is aimed at going to change. Do not be self-knowledge, our emotions could guide us to do what we do not want, turn us at all in those people as we would like to be.
How to develop?
Realize the difference between: "I think" and "I feel". Ask yourself how you feel throughout the day, but just honestly. If the heart beats rapidly, or you suffocate, then this is a common subconscious reaction. Ask a question: "What feeling it causes it?" Name this feeling - fear, excitement, calm, etc. Speak about your feelings with friends and loved ones. Over time, you will become more accurate to determine which feeling / emotion is owned by you at this particular point.
2. Self-control
While we listen and study our inner feelings, making a step by step to meet self-knowledge, self-control regulates and coordinates these very feelings to obtain a positive, not negative result. Self-control gives the rational side of the time to put the feeling when necessary. He also helps us act deliberately and responsibly, doing what we are talking about.
How to develop?
Make sure that you mentally say yourself. Recognize the fact that you are a person and you can experience any emotions. Be prepared for emotional splashes caused by repeating situations, and learn to manage them. Let an unpleasant and annoying situation turn into an exercise to resolve the problem. When you come across that it requires an unwanted emotional answer, keep anger, concentrating on behavior. Change the situation in such a way that the behavior is problematic, and not the person who is facing your anger. Resort to the humor to see the new facets of the situation.
3. Moiotivation
Atootivation is the direction of the strength of our emotions on what is able to inspire us to various things. It allows you to clearly see the goals and steps necessary for their implementation.
How to develop?
Give yourself aware that you can control and choose what you feel or what you think. Capture more effort and as often as possible, represent the picture of the desired future. Communicate with people who share your values \u200b\u200band principles and go to your dream. Continue to learn, because the desire for knowledge will strengthen the strengths of your character and will give the necessary information that you can come in handy now or in the future.
4. Sympathy
Emotional intelligence helps relate to others worthy, with compassion and sympathy. Well, when a person knows how to separate the emotions of other people from his own. Sympathy begins with the ability to listen, which means establishing a connection with a person. People who do not know how to sympathize are more concentrated on their own needs and pay little attention to the problems of others.
How to develop?
Try to listen more to the interlocutor and "join" in his experiences. Studies show that in communication, the interlocutor perceives only about 7% of words, the intonation accounts for 38%, and 55% - to the share of facial expressions, gestures and visual contact. What you say out loud and what convey others without words should not be different from each other. This serves as proof of your honesty and strengthens confidence. Try to see the situation from the point of view of another person to better understand it.
5. Effective relationship
This competence concerns the establishment of successful contacts and the ability to manage the emotions of others. If a person has a variety of social communication skills, it has the best opportunities to establish cooperation.
How to develop?
Speak with friends and colleagues about your ideas and interests, because it is damn catchily! Organize creative exchange views - it strengthens confidence and contributes to the creation of an atmosphere of interaction. Be prepared to pass the experience and knowledge to others or become a mentor, and be open to someone else's knowledge and experience. This is very important, especially in the working team. Sharing with other own experiences and knowledge, you show your ability to perceive other people's ideas and thoughts, and that you do not consider yourself anger.
Thus, emotional intelligence expands our ideas about what it means to be smart. Often, people with high IQ, but low EQs do not fully use their potential and lose chances of success because they think, interact and communicate unconventional. The ability to create a certain communication atmosphere is one of the most important skills defining communicative competence. Skillful emotion management makes it easier to cope with it in difficult life situations. Emotional intelligence helps to keep faith in itself and determined in achieving the goal, adapt to change.
Emotion management skills allow us to effectively cope with our emotional reactions. Although we cannot always control our feelings, we can control what we do in response to these feelings. The first step to learn how to better control your emotions, begins with learning to recognize emotions and their influence on your life.
Without the ability to notice an emotional reaction, to recognize it and give it due, we will not perceive themselves by the source of actions in their surroundings. This may lead to the fact that other people will affect your emotions without your consent. Thus, you can easily be like a person who found himself in the raging ocean with only one oars in his hands, and experience a feeling of powerlessness.
How do we overcome this illogical belief that other people are able to cause us an emotional reaction? It all begins with learning emotion management. Below are excellent emotion management methods. These methods were reviewed by Dr. Marsham Linekhan, director of the scientific and medical clinic examining the behavior, the author of dialectical behavioral therapy. Starting from the seventh method, all other methods were taken and processed from the textbook on the skills of dialectical behavioral therapy (McKay, Wood, & Brantley, 2007).
1. Detection and designation of emotional reaction
The first step towards managing emotions is learning recognition and designation of current emotions. The complexity inherent in emotional processes makes this step deceptively complicated. The process of identifying emotions requires you to the same extent and the ability to notice their reactions / observe them, and the ability to describe emotional manifestations.
Try to focus on observation and description:
1) events that gave rise to emotion;
2) the values \u200b\u200bthat attes to this event;
3) sensations from this emotion - bodily sensations, etc;
4) pronounced in the movements of the behavior that arose due to this emotion;
5) the influence of this emotion on your personal functional status.
2. Detection of barriers that interfere with changing emotions
Change our deeply rooted emotional reactions can be very difficult, since we used to respond to certain events with a certain predictable way. It is especially difficult to change emotional reactions that do not bring benefit us, but for the justification of which there are always arguments (for example, "I know that I should not be taking sedative pills, but when I accept them, I feel better").
Usually, emotions have two functions: notification of the surrounding and justification of their own behavior. We often use emotional reactions, trying (even unconsciously) influence the behavior of other people or manage their behavior, as well as to explain our perception / interpretation of some events. To manage emotions, it is extremely important for the ability to recognize the function of one or another emotional reaction and an understanding of what you express these emotions.
3. Reducing sensitivity to the level of "emotional intelligence"
If we have stress from physical activity or stress under the influence of external factors, therefore, on such days we are more vulnerable to emotional reactivity. The key to the regulation of emotions is to preserve a healthy balance in various areas of daily activities. Thus, we warn our physical, mental and emotional overvoltage.
To reduce emotional sensitivity, it is necessary to work out the habit of balanced to eat, sleep enough time to do a suitable charging for you, refrain from psychotropic substances, if they were not attributed to you by a doctor, and increase confidence in your abilities that arises in action when you see your performance And you begin to realize our competence.
4. Increase the number of events that bring positive emotions
Dialectic behavioral therapy is based on the assumption that people "feel bad due to valid reasons." The perception of events that cause strong emotions can be changed, but the emotions still remain. An important way to manage emotions is to train control over events that cause these emotions.
What can be done immediately is to increase the number of positive events in your life. The long-term perspective is a fundamental change in lifestyle, which will increase the frequency of positive events. In this case, it is important to remember that you need to pay attention to the positive events taking place in your life.
5. Increase in psychological involvement in the currently available emotions
Dr. Linekhan (1993) explains that "showing his pain and flour, but does not have this demonstration for negative emotions, a person ceases to encourage secondary negative emotions." Actively arguing that the one or another emotion is "bad", as a result of this we fall into the "bad" emotional state and feel guilty, longing, sadness or anger. By adding these harmful feelings to an already negative situation, we only enhance harm and make and complicate the situation that a negative event caused.
Having learned to understand your emotional state (for example, not trying to change your emotions or prevent them), you can transfer the stressful situation without adding oil into the fire (that is, without increasing the number of negative emotions). This does not mean that you should not perceive the event as such that causes pain and treat it accordingly, it just means that you should remember that you can not allow the emotions that you express, interfere with your ability to respond to the world around .
Think about how you can apply these emotion management methods in your daily life. The learning process of emotion management requires practice. This new skill must be realized, it needs to be learned to apply and practicing all the time. Each time you encounter a situation that, as you know, will be a source of strong emotions, try to perceive it as an opportunity for practicing these emotion management methods. Have you noticed that when you are attentively treat your emotions and give yourself a report in them, your feelings change?
6. Using the opposite action
An important method of dialectical behavioral therapy to change or manage strong emotions is the change in the "behavioral-expressing component with actions that contradict emotions" (Linekhan, 1993, p. 151). The use of the opposite effect implies not a braking expression of emotion, but rather, just an expression of another emotion.
An example may be a subjective feeling of depression, when a person does not want to get up in bed and communicate with other people, and the opposite decision to get up and stroll through the area, which does not prohibit the existence of the first sensation, but opposed to him. Most likely, it is impossible to immediately get rid of the state of depression, but this state can be opposed to positive changes in your feelings.
7. Application of admission methods
When you feel angry, sadness or anxiety, it seems to you that you need to urgently do something that will stop or get these unbearable negative emotions. In fact, states with strong negative emotions can be transferred. By taking impulsive actions, from overwhelming you negative emotions, you only worsen the situation.
8. Reducing physical sensitivity as a way to combat emotions
This method is similar to the method of reduced sensitivity to the level of "emotional intelligence". To combat unwanted emotions as well as the definition, and understanding of how thoughts and behavior affect your emotions, the recognition of a physical condition that makes you more or less subject to these emotions.
You can determine to what extent your physical condition affects your emotions, asking yourself the following questions:
- How does my nutrition affect my well-being?
- How does the overeating or malnutrition affect me, and what are the long-term consequences from these actions?
- How does I immediately affect the adoption of alcohol and tablets and what are the long-term consequences of their adoption?
- How is my sleep (or his absence) affect my well-being?
9. Detection of emotions
The main goal of dialectical behavioral therapy is to learn to see their emotions, and not avoid them. When we are aware of our emotional state, we have a choice as we react to the situation and what we will feel. The identification of emotions begins with the maintenance of events that influence your emotions and with the extraction of specific emotions for the subsequent management of these emotions or their elimination. Recalling events that influence your emotional state, you will learn to identify a typical reaction for you to certain emotions.
If you know that you, for example, to repay the attack of anger, you need to make great efforts, you must learn (first gradually) to observe this negative emotion, as the body responds to it and behind the emerging impulses and try to avoid judgments, which may arise in connection with this emotion. This process of gradual identification of emotions must be accompanied by a attentive attitude towards everything you experience.
10. Attentiveness to your emotions without judgment
If you are attentive to your emotions, but do not take a judgment about them, by this you reduce the likelihood of increasing their intensity. Such attentive recognition particularly helps you cope with unwanted emotions. Concentrate on your breath, watch the emotions that you are currently experiencing.
Try to look at your emotional state through the eyes of a third-party observer. Just notice everything that happens - do not share what is happening on "bad" or "good." Take control of the emotions overwhelming you can be very difficult. Pay attention to all your thoughts and judgments about the emotions that you experience (or even your intentions arising from emotions) let them go their own toeh. What do you get in the end, if you do all this?
Try to find ways to apply these emotion management techniques in everyday life. How you work to better learn your ability to observe your emotions and how you express these emotions.
- Psychology: Personality and Business
It is necessary to move to the next step in the transformation of internal qualities, to managing its feelings.
Many people are now trying to engage in personal and spiritual growth, begin to go to trainings, attend yoga classes, get acquainted with many spiritual schools, seek to clear the aura, karma, chakras, but they miss the main thing from which the development of a person begins to transformation.
To change personal qualities you need to become the owner of your mind and feelings, learn how to manage feelings and control them. After all, it is no longer a secret that negative emotions suck the human energy, leading to depression, disbelief, to the manifestation of even more bad qualities and makes it difficult for its development.
The great sages lead such an analogy that the material body is a chariot, on which the soul resets. And manages this chariot of the reminiscent. In the hands of the venge, as the entrance is the mind. And feelings are horses. And a living being under the influence of feelings and mind can be rejected, then suffer.
Wise men of antiquity say it is very important to control their emotions, otherwise a person loses its mind. This is similar to a cracked vessel, from which water slowly flows. The wise men understood from where many negative feelings begin and advised to begin first of all with the control of their mind, speech and anger, which arises from excessive attachment and disappointment. And then you need to learn to control the motives of the language, stomach and sex instincts.
Manage emotions is not to suppress them. It has been proven that the tough ban on the expression of their feelings can affect the physical and mental well-being of a person, expressing in psychosomatic diseases. Emotions need to be managed reasonably. You can find the skill of the redirection of energy. If you often experience unpleasant and uncontrolled feelings: anger, guilt, offense, irritation, anxiety and want to get rid of it, then I advise you to learn easy skills to restore internal equilibrium. It is useful in personal and business relationships to achieve mutual understanding. But the most interesting thing is the entrance to the world of understanding itself, its feelings and actions. As a result, this is an internal transformation of qualities and personal growth.
Steps to the control of feelings:
1. Consider emotions. What you notice is easier to manage. It is important to realize your condition, your feeling.
2. Considantly reject low motives to which feelings and mind are striving.
3. Transform emotion to a more appropriate and structural in this situation. Or at least change the intensity of the feeling.
four. . In the moments of depressed mood, try to think about those who now would not prevent your help and support. The translation of focus of attention from its experiences to the needs of another person will change your way of thinking and eliminate mental instability.
5. Physical exertion from light walk to sports contribute to the development of endartrophins - hormones satisfaction.
6. The heat exercises are an simple and efficient way to remove emotional stress. This will help take control of feelings and start controlling them.
7. The study of the scriptures, spiritual practice, meditation and prayer is the most depth methods that will allow you to manage your feelings and mind.
As well as it is noticed that the overall trait of all long-livers is the ability to positively think and rejoice in every day and not to perceive the world around him.
Watch and monitor your feelings. Let only positive qualities and emotions prevail in your life. It will make your life saturated, joyful and interesting.
The criterion of maturity (development) of a person is his ability to control themselves: its perception, internal processes, personal resources, energy and etc. This also gives a stable "bonus" of sustainability to various kinds of external redirers and adverse circumstances.
Unpleasant truth about the world number 1
An ordinary person is committed to two things.
Testing as much as possible as much as possible pleasant feelings (love, joy, happiness, pleasure, etc.).
And never experience (preferably) feelings of unpleasant (suffering, disgust, offense, unnecessariness, grief, longing, jealousy, shame, etc. etc.).
The desires are quite understandable and natural. For a child 5-6 years, but not for an adult.
The truth is (which is the eyes of the roller) is that in order to get rid of negative feelings and start enjoying the feelings positive need to work on themselves. But the ordinary person, unfortunately, does not like to work on himself. An ordinary person loves when everything turns out quickly and, preferably, of course: I pressed the button and opa! All right in your pocket.
The world, however, is arranged at other principles than the usual person would like it. For everything in this world you have to pay. And for the ability to manage your feelings, among other things.
Be ready for it!
"Do not think about seconds down ..«
The feelings have one interesting feature - they can completely discourage the ability to rationally think and make deliberate decisions. On the wave of the overwhelming feelings, a person is able to embed such that then puts the fat cross on all his future life. Do you understand? There was a whole life with hopes and plan, but some couple of minutes or seconds (launching even hours) and everything is no longer any life and never will be!
Example 1. A pretty girl suits the lover scene and yielding to immature feelings. A man decides to leave the family. Little children stay without a father. But the girl's relationship and men do not add up - the feelings turned out to be unreal. They turn out to be a broken trough. No one won - everyone lost.
Example 2. A man (being 100% sober), fastened in a rustling of jealousy kills his wife, two young children and aims. Four people are dead, one until the end of days will live in a concrete baked box.
Example 3. Porny and childish trusting woman sheltered "refugees". By exploiting her immature feelings, enterprising guys pushed her to a property crime, but in addition, deceit deceived apartments. Now the unfortunate is forced to deal with his feelings in the colony.
Example 4. The young man was angry with his friend because of the last position expressed on one issue and was deadly insulted. Perennial friendship gave the crack, and then broke up. And when a young man got into a serious shot, a friend refused to help him.
There are millions of such stories - they were, there will be more.
All the troubles that occur in our lives occur in our fault. We ourselves, with our own hands we give feelings from the unconscious to seize the absolute power over us and make us act "exactly that, and not otherwise."
Obviously, for any person it is critical to learn how to manage their feelings, because the inability to manage them is a direct path to the destruction of yourself and life around, a direct path to Satan (I use this term as the most understandable cultural symbol of life and being for our person).
Why Pushkin masterfully ruled out other people's feelings
It is good to have a "hot heart" when "cold head" is attached to it. Feelings are the element that in skillful hands turns into an infinite source of the inner strength, and in the holes, it becomes a destructive chaos and striving for the death of entropy (that is, the manifestation of all the same Satan).
Let's see how you can manage your feelings and always be the owner yourself.
To begin with, it should be understood that while the person is under the authority of his limited egoistic mind (which divides the world on me and not-I), he is not the owner himself - he is under the fifth of his insane servant.
When a person (after many years of meditation or as a result), he learned to realize his outside of a limited egoistic mind he gets unprecedented power over himself and his feelings. Now he is enough to look at the reactive feeling and immediately take it under control.
Remember - without the "pumping" ability to occupy an external position (external point of view) All conversations about the management of feelings are the Brehnya "Tip Piopeshiholokhov". You can only manage what you realize. And to realize anything you can only "rising above this."
Second moment It is that with the "line and circulation" you will not suit the feelings. With words, we can express only what decomposes on the elements. Feelings are not decomposed on the elements, so the logical rationalization here, as they say, "not channels". The only effective tool for managing feelings is working with them as with metaphors. This, by the way, knew poets perfectly well and songwrites "since the time of the king of pea" - they have all the sensual lyrics built exclusively on metaphors.
for example
And the heart again burns and loves because it can not unopt it. (A.S. Pushkin)
Burning heart is a metaphor
And to control the metaphors is already a fairly simple technology.
Plus, the basic things, without which the guidelines will remind an attempt to an illiterate and incompetent chief (koi in Russia you can meet at every step) to fulfill a complex project in record time (i.e. it will be made "through the ass" on the principle "Want as better , and it turned out as always. ").
We are talking about acceptance and responsibility. Things are different, but interrelated.
So, all you have is an integral part of you. Your own "property" so to speak. And any property involves some responsibility for it.
Get ready to take.
Unpleasant truth about the world number 2
What else needs to be aware of how to manage your feelings?
Any governance aims to influence the management object to achieve some important and necessary results. As if different people did not imagine the ultimate goal of managing feelings, it will always be the same (just with varying degrees of purity) is the achievement of inner harmony. There is no other goal. It simply cannot be, as can not be two Tao.
For an ordinary person, it is difficult to recognize that there is something more important than harmony, an ordinary person wants wealth and pleasures from life. But the next unpleasant truth about the world is that it becomes rich and getting access to the sophisticated pleasures such a person does not become happier (and the more harmonious).
Characteristic example
Here is a collective description of a typical American tragedy:
"He is a multimillionaire, which owns a network of 73 retail stores selling electronics. The level of cholesterol in its blood is highly overestimated, its weight exceeds the rate of 60 pounds. He did not even have time to even talk to his children for the past five years, and the children themselves take drugs and perceive it as a kind of ghostly figure, which really does not have any idea. He sleeps in separate rooms with his wife, and love and romance in his life - no more than erased from memory memories ... "
And you know what the most "winner" thinks about? Everything is very simple. He has only one in his head ...
How to open the 74th store
In your trading network!
(Gary Halbert.)
Wealth, fame, recognition, honor, etc. - these are the goals that you can achieve much easier, being in the state of internal harmony. If, of course, decide what you need them. Either get them as related "bonuses" to what you do or deal with.
And here is an important point - you must achieve harmony among themselves and the ultimate goal of your activities (and your actions as such) in order to achieve serious creative success in this activity and in order not to experience unnecessary stresses in the process.
Therefore, striving is always solely to harmony, this is the right direction.
Three ways to learn how to manage your feelings
I know several ways to learn how to manage feelings. One of the most common and popular - It is to read a couple of centners books and other educational materials on psychology, philosophy, esoteric, listen and view the terabytes of audio and video on this topic, to grunt from there all possible exercises / techniques and carefully fulfill them. It is likely that by the time you finish, you will be quite many years, "but" ... you don't have to spend money!
Another way Much more practical - you can invent the time machine and periodically postpone, continuing to learn everything that you need to study and practice what you need to practice. What will happen in the end? And it turns out that in fact you will spend quite a bit, just some years of self-education, and judging by the clock, passed only three hours from the moment you read this article.
But if you do not want to spend the precious years of my own life, but to invent the time car you are not under power, the only thing I can advise you is a personal work with a coach that builds a systematic work for you and help you reach the result much more faster.
And the first thing I would attach to overcome the most difficult barriers to control our own feelings, which are hidden in the depths of your unconscious. It is quite simple to do it - it is enough to go (and it is possible to do it during a couple of weeks) several specialized sessions -, Gnostic intensive and the complex "Shunyata". This can be done within