The middle-aged crisis in women is a conditional concept. When does a woman occur this kind of middle-aged crisis? It can begin at 30, 40 or 50 years. There are no clear boundaries. Yes, and this concept itself refers to the field of psychology, and many authors interpret this concept and the process of crisis itself. Medical diagnosis does not exist. I.V. Dubrovina determines the concept of "critical age" as something fuzzy, which in the first third of the 20th century was still practically studied. And then the studies stopped, but nevertheless the age crisis was considered as something mandatory and immutable. As a fact.
In the concept of Erickson, for example, a crisis is the period of becoming a psychological neoplasm. For example, in a period of 0 to 1 year, a person forms the basic confidence of a person to the world around the world as a whole. That is, in other words, how will the people surround it (first of all, the mother, of course), with sincere warmth, will be reached, then, accordingly, he will also refer to the world. The crisis is also a period of rethinking his life. Therefore, the crisis of middle age both in men and in women is the usual and common phenomenon.
It has long been known, the person's personality develops unevenly, which is particularly clearly visible in childhood. If you analyze all stages, it becomes clear that periods can be relatively calm, stable and critical. The latter are considered the most dangerous, and therefore we suggest considering them in more detail.
What are the crises?
Critical age and personal periods have such characteristic features:
- They are invisible, and it is difficult to clarify when the crisis began, and when it ended. Peak, that is, climax or exacerbation, falls on the middle of the period. But then he becomes noticeable even to others;
- Man for a while becomes asocial. This is manifested in the form of a decrease in its performance, increasing the number of conflict situations, internal experiences and non-informability to educational measures (if it comes to child);
- During difficult periods, the person loses many of what has previously acquired, it becomes characteristic of destroying, and not to create.
All critical periods of life of each person consist of the following steps:
- pre-critic;
- directly culminated or critical;
- postcritical.
Crisis of newborns
The critical period of the newly born of the child would remain unnoticed if there were no ubiquitous Chinese. It was they who set his presence, having studied the changes in the weight of the baby.
To all of the time, thanks to the exact and the latest equipment, it became known that the fruit can smile or grimace, expressing their emotions in the inside maternal womb, expressing his emotions. And if there are emotions, that is, the periods of their formation.
The crisis of the newborn life is a unique and unique phenomenon. The fact is that the child depends entirely on adults, it is not capable of expressing the needs in verbal form, and is forced to start a new stage of existence outside the maternal leave. Moreover, all this is poured on it at one point, namely, at the time of the permission from the burden.
Literally immediately after birth, the new person acquires the so-called auxiliary complex, which manifests itself in the form:
- general motor excitation when an adult appears;
- communication initiatives, which is noticeable for crying, cries and other attempts to attract attention;
- applying votes, especially in the process of communicating with mom;
- smiles.
The deadlines for the occurrence of the infant critical period can tell a lot about how normally the psyche of the newborn is developing.
Crisis of the 1st year
At this time, the child starts talking.
At the same time, there is a kind of regress of its development, which is noticeable by such symptoms:
- disorders arising literally in all biorhythmic processes;
- emotional anomalies;
- dysfunctions to meet standard needs.
Such a difficult period is not considered the most acute, and therefore it is rarely unnoticed by parents.
But the 3-year-old age is the hardest of all children's difficult periods.
The symptoms of the approaching crisis can be considered the following changes in the behavior of a child:
- acute interest in its reflection;
- painfully experienced mistakes;
- interest in the outfits and the opposite sex;
- negativism and desire to do everything on the contrary;
- lumpiness;
- stubbornness;
- self-person;
- bunty and protests against adults;
- despotism, jealousy and depreciation of the significance of relatives and loved ones.
This time can be called the most difficult in family life, since all the guardians of the child need to take a single position, and teach the baby to relate their "want" with the possibilities of relatives and personal "I can".
The most optimal way out is to take the kid playing, give him a field for its own activity: mugs, sections, etc.
Youth crisis
The age categories of this stage of the formation of a person are swaying into the framework of 16 to 18 years. Young creature must be stopped being a child, and almost one moment to grow to an adult. He will understand his mortality, begin to actively seek the meaning of existence and learn how to regulate his actions in accordance with generally accepted norms and laws.
The crisis of the middle-aged
At this time, the man who lived to 35-40 years old begins to understand, then all his hopes suffered collapse. What can this be noted? For example, a woman does not suit her reflection in the mirror, she realizes that he has not done a lot, and will no longer do, it will not be much at all, because not 20 years old, indeed.
And if a representative of a weak floor is transferred to its crisis not radically, then men come off to the full coil. Critical periods in their family life are solved by caring for mistresses, changing work, citizenship, country of residence and all in such a large-scale spirit.
Such critical periods in family relationships can flow in several formats, namely:
- in acute form, when a person in a few weeks or a couple of months completely changes his life;
- a subacute form in which the personality slowly experiments with changes, and it can last for several years in a row;
- the sluggish form, which at all is not manifested.
The crisis of the elderly
He comes after 60 years, and the reason to enter it is the same reflection in the mirror.
Beautiful sex representatives react differently to life problems. Someone goes into Himself, climbing from the surrounding reality, someone is trying to change the circle of communication, well, and someone is started in all the grave. Life is not cloudless and timing. In the life of each person there are happy and heavy periods, lifts and falls. But what should I do if a black band has come in life, how to survive it?
Here are some tips from psychologists who will help to cope with the difficult period of your life.
You need to give yourself time.
Not always life is perfect. But the girl should understand that if she follows his dream, it is sooner or later she to realize and all get better. Perhaps it just takes a little longer than she planned before. This rule concerns absolutely all spheres of life. It does not matter what it is: studies, professional achievements or personal life.
No need to constantly plan the future.
It happens that the woman just divorced or recently resigned from a permanent job, while the surrounding people already demand that the person began to think about the future and planned him. Sometimes it is worth a little walking in place, get used to your current state, think about what you want to study in the future. If a woman does not figure it out in himself, will not analyze all the events and will not decompose everything around the shelves, there is a very big risk to allow exactly the same mistakes in the future or make the wrong choice again.
When should I start moving forward?
The only right decision to start going forward when you fully accept the events that occurred. How to understand what happened? You will cease to give the events to emotional coloring. You will no longer consider these events terrible, they will become simply neutral for you and you will have a desire to scroll the events in your head many times in a row or talk about them in detail each oncoming. In addition, you will gradually begin to assume that the events that occurred can lead to something very good in the future.
The concept of normal life.
It seems to you that before you lived a normal life, such as everything, and now forced changes can lead to what you may have to look for your way, which will be very different from the traditional and can be negatively perceived by society. For example, society does not complain of divorced women who have not done everything possible to preserve the family. Also, society considers all people who do not work from call to call and chose a more flexible schedule, just loafers.
Rules.
Do not try to violate all the rules, it is better to go on the ongoing tracks, then much more likely the likelihood that you can quickly find your favorite job or a new dear person. Still, sending a resume or regularly visiting the place of a large cluster of people, you can quickly succeed in all areas. Believe me, not all rules should be broken, but sometimes you should not be afraid to break them.
The wrong, but nevertheless, the most common advice is advice to help others when it is bad to you. In fact, you will not have enough strength, energy and other resources to truly help another person and pull it out of the bunch of troubles. At the same time, heap of other people's problems can drag you to the very bottom. Then you may not have enough time and effort to help yourself, and that the black stripe in your life finally ended.
Weak sides.
Think about your weaknesses and bad habits. When a person is really bad, there is a risk Go back to all your bad habits that you could control at a more quiet time or from which you could refuse earlier.
The life of a woman, as they grow up, there are various stages. Change of life circumstances, achieving a certain age and other events are often associated with scary at first glance the word crisis. Terms such as "adolescent crisis", the "middle-aged crisis" are now known to almost everyone and are practically synonymous with problems arising during certain periods of life. Let's try to figure out what crises most often have to face women.
From the point of view of psychologists, age crises - These are special and relatively short periods of life. This is the time of transition to a qualitatively new stage, which is accompanied by strong personality changes. Causes of crisis, First of all, it is related to the fact that somehow the destruction of the usual gelady occurs. Another comes to his place, which more corresponds to a new level of human psychological development.
The very first crisis with whom you have to face - this crisis of birth. With this crisis, we meet when the usual world inside the maternal womb is replaced by radically new conditions for existence. A completely small and defenseless person passes the first stage of his formation and begins to master something completely new for himself, starting with the first sigh.
The following crises come in 3 years and 7 yearsWhen kids go to kindergarten and school. At both stages, the medium and the necessary skills for existence in it are changed again.
I'll get a little forward and denote another crisis - retirement crisis. This period is associated with some decline in social status, the loss of the life rhythm lasted by the decades, the search for new forms of realizing itself, aging and losing close people. It is often complicated by the fact that at about the same time they usually grow and begin with independent life and grandchildren. This is especially painful for women who are accustomed to constantly take care of their family and be supporting younger generations.
Special place in the life of each woman occupy crisis of growing (or adolescence) and middle-aged crisis.
Being a teenager, the girl begins a gradual transition to adulthood, in which she has to face such concepts as independence, responsibility for itself and their actions. A young woman takes many emotionally complex decisions that it is important for her and valuable, what she, to what purposes she seeks and what is the meaning of her life.
The period of youth self-determination and dreams once ends up, and after some time the "the most" crisis of middle-aged, the crisis of the mid life occurs. In reality, some of these crisis falls for 30 years, and someone has much later. The main sign of the onset of such a period is the feeling of lost meaning of life and emptiness, misunderstanding of its future goals. As a result of this review, conclusions may arise, for example, that all the desired achieved and continue to strive. Or, on the contrary, it turned out to be implemented only a part of the conceived one, one of the peers achieved much more - and then the conclusion about in vain spent time and its own insolvency. Sometimes it happens that the mid-life crisis comes after complex stressful situations, such as loss of work or a loss of a loved one.
The crisis is a natural transition process from one age and state to others.
So scary women's crises and how to avoid them or at least alleviate?
Translated from Greek Krisis denotes a "solution". In Chinese, there is a word "crisis", consisting of two hieroglyphs: one of these hieroglyphs is translated as "danger", and the second as "the possibility, a turning point." The crisis is a natural process of transition from one age and state to others, and you can use it so as to extract maximum benefit.
Each of us faces the need to rethink your life, designate new benchmarks. Passing the crisis period, we get the opportunity to reflect about ourselves and your life, bring some intermediate results and - apply all this knowledge to change a lot for the better.
In which age, under what circumstances, you may encounter an age crisis, as well as how you pass it - depends on many individual characteristics. This is the character, and social conditions, the features of education, so universal for all anti-crisis recipes practically does not exist. However, we can still offer several general councils.
How to cope with the crisis:
The first is not hurry. Allow yourself to yourself calmly understand the situation. But it is not necessary to stick in negative experiences and the search for causal relationships.
Second - look at the crisis as the ability to change your life for the better.
Third - get rid of the ballast. Move the results of all your cases: You may have been going to clean up the balcony for several years or call the old school girlfriend. Try, starting with the little things, finish all unfinished affairs and projects - and it will help you significantly. The same revision makes sense to do for its surroundings - perhaps in your environment there are people with whom it has long been to stop chatting, and someone on the contrary is deprived of your attention, while this is exactly what communication brings you mutual joy and benefits.
It should be remembered that the word "crisis" is not something terrible. In fact, the crisis is a transition from the old to a new one, from one stage of life to a new one, most likely an unusual stage. It comes out, crises may be as much as serious change in life is experienced by a person. Creating your family, the birth of a child, the appearance of grandchildren, divorce, quarrel - all this, in fact, the crises of women's age. Of course, everything unknown is anxious, and not always new to master and take into your life, but not in vain the eastern wise men say that the darkest day is happening before dawn - in your power to make crises on the beginning of their next personal dawn.