Keeper of the secrets of Solzhenitsyn. "Baltika" - International magazine of Russian writers. Long Roads from Homeland

Petersburg environs. Life and customs of the early twentieth century Glezerov Sergey Evgenievich

Summer in the estate

The summer season for the vast majority of Petersburg residents has always been associated with going to the country. And many St. Petersburg nobles went from stuffy and dusty St. Petersburg to their family estates located in the St. Petersburg province. By the end of the 19th century, it often happened that the dachas of wealthy Petersburgers, representatives of the new "middle class", with their luxury and wealth left far behind them the modest old estates of poor nobles. Nevertheless, everything in these estates retained the indescribable charm of old times. Sometimes they seemed like real islands of rural idyll ...

It is about such a summer life on a noble estate near St. Petersburg that engineer Georgy Vasilyevich Malkov-Panin tells in his memoirs "At the turn of two eras". His grandfather was a well-known Russian paper manufacturer, one of the country's oldest process engineers, owner of the Krasnoselsk paper stationery factory Konstantin Petrovich Pechatkin. He owned the Vladimirskaya manor, twenty miles from Gatchina, which was also twenty miles from the Krasnoselskaya factory. Pechatkin considered his estate a "fuel reserve" for the factory in case of war in Europe.

“My grandfather and his family always went there in the summer,” said Georgy Malkov-Panin. "Both my mother and my sisters grew up there." For the first time Georgy Malkov-Panin appeared at the Vladimirskaya manor in 1898, at the age of twelve. By this time, Konstantin Pechatkin had already passed away. Since he had no sons, five daughters became heirs to his large fortune and factory. They formed the share "Pechatkina K.P. heirs partnership ", which owned the Krasnoselskaya and Tsarskoselskaya paper factories, as well as the Lukashevsky plant in the Tsarskoselskaya district of the Petersburg province.

A.S. Stepanov. "Homestead in Summer". 1882 year

“At the manor everything remained the way it was once established by my grandfather,” Georgy Vasilyevich shared his first impressions of Vladimirskaya manor. - To begin with, there were no horses or cattle on the manor - the estate was exclusively forest. Grandfather, saving the forest, did not chop it down and planted in a strict checkerboard pattern large plowing trees, which had already grown. The old forest was slender and mighty. "

The Malkov-Panins settled in Gatchina, and the road from the house to the manor ran through the palace estates, two of which housed the royal hunt. A road led directly to the manor from Elizavetino station. “The road from the station to the manor was bad: mud, puddles, bumps and deep ruts ... In the estate, all the roads were highways thanks to his grandfather, who did it at his own expense.”

The old manor house was preserved on the manor. In addition to him, in the manor yard there were the manager's outbuilding, as well as a carriage shed, a stable and a room for a coachman and a gardener. There was also a grain barn for grain and flour, a cellar that was filled with ice before summer, and a deep well with a lifting wheel. On the other side of the manor house there was a second exit from the glazed veranda into a small park, in the middle of which there was a pond with an island. In addition to the above-mentioned wooden buildings on the manor, there were several other buildings made of granite boulders - a half-abandoned round barnyard and a barn where peasants dried and threshed their bread. Since the time of Pechatkin, the riga has been used to stage theatrical performances, and local peasants have become grateful spectators.

S.Yu. Zhukovsky. "Autumn evening". 1905 year

All business at the manor was conducted by the manager - the old man Karl Ivanovich Gupger, who was awarded an award from Pechatkin in the form of a gold watch for the 35th anniversary of his service in the estate. He was a classic example of an economic, pedantic and neat German, a jack of all trades. His wing housed a workshop with carpentry and lathe machines and a small blacksmith's furnace.

In 1899, Malkov-Panin's mother became the full-fledged owner of the Vladimirskaya manor. Being a great lover of gardening and vegetable gardening, she invited a Yaroslavl gardener to the manor. “The gardeners came to St. Petersburg every spring to work, and in the fall they returned to their families,” said Georgy Malkov-Panin. - It was their traditional occupation, and in St. Petersburg they were famous for their experience and skill. The gardener Fyodor, handsome, with a bushy beard, took root from the very first year and appeared with us for almost twenty years every spring, taking up the vegetable garden that had been abandoned in the fall ”.

S.Yu. Zhukovsky. "Manor". 1899 year

Malkov-Panin's father, a general in the Russian army, a member of the State Council, a prominent specialist in fortresses, decided to breathe new life into the estate. He immediately drew attention to the fact that the forest is beginning to fall into desolation, the ponds are overgrown with mud in the park, and that major repairs are required of the buildings on the manor. An artel of Gdov carpenters was engaged in construction work. The manor has become prettier, and the old manor house has grown significantly in size.

Family dacha life here had its own customs and traditions. Three versts from the Vladimirskaya manor lay the village of Vokhonovo, where the women's monastery was located. According to the tradition established at the manor, in the summer we always went to this monastery - to the church. Vokhonovo belonged to the landowner N.A. Platonova, whose ancestors owned it since the time of the favorite of Catherine II - Count Platon Zubov. “This elderly girl, who in her youth amazed my mother with her Amazon, white riding horse and greyhound… was incredibly prim,” said Georgy Malkov-Panin. - In 1917, the peasants shot Platonov; she, however, remained alive, as she fell from fright even before the shots were fired.

S.Yu. Zhukovsky. "Poetry of an old noble house". 1912 year

An indispensable tradition at the Vladimirskaya manor was the celebration on August 2 of the name day of Father Georgy Malkov-Panin, a military engineer. There were many guests who stayed at the estate for several days. Sometimes there was not enough space, and guests slept in all the rooms - on the floor, in the hay, and even in the bathhouse.

“By August 2 we always prepared fireworks, fountains, Roman candles, rockets and sparklers,” recalled Georgy Vasilievich. - Corrected and re-glued paper lanterns. We always prepared rides on the theme of the day. When there was a war between the Boers and the British (the Boers fought in Africa for their independence, against the British colonialists, which earned themselves sympathy in many countries, including Russia. - S.G.),we put up two banners lit by candles. One carried a drill, the other an Englishman. They held Roman candles in their hands. When it got dark, we put them in the park between the pond and the balcony. Lanterns and sparklers were lit. The park was full of the surrounding peasants. Boer fired at the Englishman, who answered him. By chance, a banner with an Englishman began to burn and burned down to loud applause. The sympathies of the Russians were on the side of the Boers. "

Favorite activities in country life on the manor are swimming in the pond, hiking in the forest for berries and mushrooms. The area around the manor was surprisingly rich in berries, especially strawberries, and mushrooms. Since the time of Konstantin Pechatkin, there has been a "confectionery" in the park - a canopy with large tables and benches, where berries were peeled in summer and mushrooms in autumn. “Towards autumn, when the cucumbers ripened and mushrooms appeared, the old elder Foma appeared in the manor yard, who, under the guidance of Karl Ivanovich, learned to cooper,” said Georgy Malkov-Panin. - Barrels and barrels were pulled out of the cellars, all of this was repaired, new bottoms were installed, burst hoops were replaced. Together with Foma, I also knocked on the chisel with a hammer, overtook hoops, scraped boards. "

Hunting was one of the more "adult" activities. In the autumn, when the mountain ash was ripening, the surroundings of the manor were filled with flocks of field thrushes. “They were allowed to shoot them only in the fall,” Georgy Vasilievich recalled. - We bought two "Berdanks", which were converted from old military rifles. They were very cheap and shot great. "

They went to the Malkovy-Panin manor not only in summer, but also during the Christmas holidays. A high mountain was set up in the park for sledding. On Christmas Eve we went to the Vokhonov Monastery ...

Peasant life in the vicinity of Vladimirskaya manor also had its own, long-established traditions. For example, since the time of Konstantin Pechatkin, it was established that the population of both villages located on the border of the estate, Vytti and Luziki, went out to mow the grass on the territory of the manor. The villages were small, ten yards each. (The village of Vyti is also marked today on the map of the Gatchinsky district of the Leningrad region.) The Ingrian Finns lived there, they were usually called “Chukhontsy” without any neglect. For mowing, the inhabitants of these villages received the right to graze their herd throughout the forest territory of the manor, as well as collect deadwood and brushwood there.

“These privileges were highly valued by the peasants and they came to the mowing like a holiday,” said Georgy Malkov-Panin. - The mowing holiday also ended. Large tables and benches were installed in the manor yard. Men sat at one table, women at another. Dinner was served. The manager with the bottle walked around the tables several times. After lunch, there was a tea party, the kids also received treats: nuts, gingerbread cookies, candy canes and so on. Then there were round dances and dances ... We children loved mowing very much and always took an active part in it. Boys had their braids, girls had rakes. "

Relations between the owners of the manor and the surrounding peasants were very friendly, which was especially evident during the years of the first Russian revolution (1905-1907), when a wave of pogroms of landowners' estates swept across Russia: the "Russian rebellion, senseless and merciless" began (we repeat the poet again) ... This was bypassed to the Vladimirskaya grange. “We had no aggravations with the peasants - there were few of them, and they were wealthy enough. Neither my grandfather nor my father never exploited them, but, on the contrary, always helped. There have never been any peasant unrest in our area "...

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Ekaterina (Malkov-Panina) (-), nun, for Christ's sake, holy fool, blessed, locally revered saint of the Pukhtitsa Assumption Monastery

On July 5, Catherine was admitted to the number of novices of the Pukhtitsa monastery. From the first days of her life in the monastery, she began to behave at times strangely, acting like a fool. Soon she was transferred to the Gethsemane skete, which was thirty kilometers from the monastery.

At the beginning of the Great Patriotic War, the Gethsemane skete was liquidated, and its nuns returned to the monastery. In the year Catherine was sent home to look after sick elderly parents who lived in Tallinn. In the same year, she buried her mother and stayed with her father. In Tallinn, Catherine visited the Pyukhtitsa monastery compound and predicted (almost twenty years) its closure.

In the year, Catherine buried her father and returned to the monastery, after which she began to openly play the fool.

The nuns recalled that she sometimes imposed a special fast on herself, explaining that she was going to die, and usually it was to the death of one of the sisters. If she said that she was fasting because she was preparing to tonsure into the mantle, this meant that someone was to be tonsured.

Catherine was widely revered by the Orthodox people as having the gift of clairvoyance and healing. Numerous pilgrims flocked to her for advice and prayer.

In April, she was tonsured into the mantle with the retention of her former name by Archbishop of Tallinn and Estonia Alexy (Ridiger) in her cell, in the abbess chambers of the Pyukhtitsa Monastery.

In the last years of her life, the old woman rarely left the house, she lay more. If she got up and suddenly appeared somewhere, then this was a big event and meant that something significant was going to happen in this house. According to the stories of the nuns, Mother Ekaterina was constantly in illness, but outwardly she did not express her suffering in any way. In one of her last letters, the blessed one wrote: "How easy it is to take on a feat and how difficult it is to finish it ...".

Having given her life to God and people, Mother Catherine was rewarded with a saint, venerable life - God testified about her with signs and miracles both during her lifetime and after her death. At the age of thirty-three, she entered the remote and then little-known Pukhtitsa monastery in Estonia, and until the end of her days she pursued asceticism in this holy monastery. Having abundantly acquired spiritual wisdom, foresight and bold prayer, she served people with these blessed gifts and led many to faith in the difficult years for the Church.

Aspiring to the heavenly world, like a wondrous lamp, she illuminated the path to Christ for all who came into contact with her. Those who knew her loved her personally and throughout their lives carried in their hearts the experience of a personal meeting with the blessed old woman.

Our contemporary, she was honored at the same time to be the heir of the spiritual experience and gifts of ancient devotees of piety. In the era of people's retreat from the faith, in the period of impoverishment of monastic exploits, when there were not even two dozen out of a thousand monasteries in Russia, she considered it possible for herself to live in a monastery as the ancient ascetics of Palestine lived, who loved God above all, depriving themselves of the most necessary - housing, food, clothing, sleep. Not content with these privations and self-sacrifices, she renounced Christ for the sake of and from the most important gift of God to man - from reason.

Her life is difficult to describe, since it is not an ordinary human life, incomprehensible to the mind - foolishness for the sake of the Lord, the greatest and most difficult feat with complete self-denial and devotion to the will of God. The feat of foolishness can be called voluntary martyrdom - the fool for Christ's sake endured sorrow and humiliation all their lives.

The famous Athonite elder Joseph the Hesychast (+1959), who asceticised at about the same years, wrote about the height of this gift as follows: “When Divine grace enlightens the mind through prayer, then he sees what she will show him, and no distance can prevent it , nor objects (...). However, although this is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, very few receive it, for it requires great selflessness and love for God. Rare souls have enough courage and courage to escape the familiar and well-trodden path of many and live exactly according to the Christian commandments in this confused world in which we all live "(Elder Joseph of Vatopedi. Athos testimony. M. 2009).

The daughter of a lieutenant general of the Russian Imperial Army, who received the best female education at that time, after the coup in Russia, she turned out to be Divine Providence in Estonia, where she spent about 50 years in the Pyukhtitsa women's monastery, most of them in the feat of foolishness, having acquired an abundance of gifts from God grace and leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of the sisters and pilgrims from Pyukhtitsa.

Little information has come down to us about her life, and this little information can little to acquaint with her inner life, hidden in Christ. She was Russian, of noble origin, but she was born and raised up to ten years in Finland, she combined knowledge of European languages, and broad Western education, and Russian spirituality, cordiality, simplicity. The best evidence for the knowledge of her inner world can serve as the memories of people who knew the blessed eldress, who turned to her for advice and help. Wise with the experience of spiritual life, the old woman foresaw the future and with this gift served her neighbors.

Today her grave is visited not only by those who knew her personally, but also by new grateful admirers who received help in everyday needs through her prayers. And now Mother Catherine continues to show her love to those who ask her prayers, believing that she is not dead, but alive in God and can respond to a prayer addressed to her and help. If today her great deeds are unattainable for most of us who are accustomed to walking the beaten path, Mother Catherine remains a bright beacon for all, showing the way to salvation. Looking at her faith and deeds, we realize our weakness and poverty and bring repentance, thereby accomplishing our salvation, since repentance is the path to correction.

The Holy Synod decreed nun Ekaterina (Malkov-Panina) to be canonized for local veneration in the Pyukhtitsky Dormition Stauropegic Convent. The memory of Blessed Catherine, Christ for the sake of the holy fool, is supposed to be celebrated on April 22 (May 5).

The Synod decided to consider the honest remains of Blessed Catherine, if found, as holy relics and to give them due veneration. Icons for worship will be painted for the newly glorified saint, in accordance with the definition of the VII Ecumenical Council.

Ekaterina Malkov-Panina was born on May 15, 1889 in Finland, in the Sveaborg fortress, in the family of the military engineer Vasily Vasilyevich Malkov-Panin. The family had six children. From an early age, the future saint was distinguished by her kindness and responsiveness, she loved to visit the holy monastery located not far from their estate.

Until 1900 the family lived in Helsingfors (Helsinki), then moved to Gatchina. At the beginning of the twentieth century, Catherine studied at the natural faculty of the Bestuzhev courses, after which she worked in the Entomological Society in 1912-1913. In 1914, Catherine entered the nursing courses and at the same time began to work in free city hospitals, later worked in the rear hospital, then transferred to the flying detachment of the Georgievsk community: the sisters of mercy of this detachment provided assistance to wounded soldiers who were taken out of the battlefield.

After a serious illness, Ekaterina got a job as a worker in the village of Bezkabotnoye near St. Petersburg, and in 1919 she came to Estonia with her parents.

On July 5, 1922, Catherine was admitted to the number of novices of the Pyukhtitsa monastery. From the first days of her life in the monastery, she began to behave at times strangely, acting like a fool. Soon she was transferred to the Gethsemane skete, which was thirty kilometers from the monastery.

At the beginning of World War II, the Gethsemane skete was liquidated, and its nuns returned to the monastery. In 1942, Ekaterina was allowed to go home to look after her sick elderly parents who lived in Tallinn. In the same year, she buried her mother and stayed with her father. In Tallinn, Catherine visited the Pyukhtitsa monastery compound and predicted (almost twenty years) its closure.

In 1947, Catherine buried her father and returned to the monastery, after which she began to openly behave like a fool.

Catherine was widely revered by the Orthodox people as having the gift of clairvoyance and healing. Numerous pilgrims flocked to her for advice and prayer.

In April 1966, Archbishop Aleksy of Tallinn and Estonia, in his cell, in the hegumen's chambers of the Pukhtitsa monastery, tonsured the novice of Catherine's monastery into the mantle, leaving the former name.

In the last years of her life, the old woman rarely left the house, she lay more. If she got up and suddenly appeared somewhere, then this was a big event and meant that something significant should happen in this house. According to the stories of the nuns, Mother Ekaterina was constantly in illness, but outwardly she did not express her suffering in any way. In one of her last letters, the blessed one wrote: "How easy it is to take upon yourself a feat and how difficult it is to finish it ...".

On May 5, 1968, for the celebration of the Myrrh-Bearing Women, Mother Catherine peacefully departed to the Lord.

There are many convincing testimonies about the holiness of the ascetic and the abundant gifts of grace, manifested during her life and after death in obvious miracles, including healings (some of them are confirmed by medical documents).

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30.11.2012 Through the labor of the brethren of the monastery 15 136

A meal in a monastery is a sacred action, lunch is a continuation of the service. Before the beginning of the meal and at the end of it, all the brethren pray, thank the Lord for His good deeds, prayerfully remembering the living and deceased fathers and brothers. All food is blessed by the priest. There is a very noticeable difference between dining with all the brethren and eating the same dishes separately (due to illness or obedience). And if the heart of the temple is the altar with the Holy See, then the heart of the kelar service, which is responsible for feeding the brethren, is, of course, the kitchen.

The kelar service occupies a separate (northern) wing of the inner monastic square. A large bright refectory that can accommodate about 200 people, a kitchen, two dishwashers, warehouses, a dairy, confectionery and vegetable shop, a refectory room, offices and workshops, a small laundry room - everything is under one roof. In the kelar service, only brothers, mostly laborers, will obey.

The kitchen is a bright room with high ceilings with an area of \u200b\u200babout 40 sq. M. Food is prepared on an electric stove (there is always a full-fledged wood-burning stove in reserve) and in a miracle machine that can bake, fry, cook, steam. There is also an industrial meat grinder in the kitchen, comfortable steel cutting tables, its own small sink and a wide variety of kitchen utensils. In the kitchen, as in most rooms of the kelar service, there was a broadcast from the temple. Therefore, the brethren who are busy preparing food during the service do not feel cut off from the general prayer meeting.

Until recently, 2 meals were established for the monastic brethren: lunch (on weekdays at 13:00, on vigil holidays - immediately after the end of the service) and dinner (immediately after the end of the evening service, at about 19:30). About a month ago, by 8:00 am, they began to serve breakfasts, mainly for those who, due to obedience, carry significant physical activity.

Two "teams" of cooks are engaged in cooking in shifts. Each consists of a cook and two assistants. The cooks are engaged only in preparing ready-made meals. The vegetables they need are cleaned in the vegetable shop, and the cooks take dirty kitchen utensils to the sink. Tables are laid, bread is cut and fruits are laid out - refectory.

The personality of the cook, his inner state, his attitude to other brothers play a key role in the whole process. One of the cooks, novice Igor, tells about his attitude to this difficult and responsible obedience.

Igor, how long have you been in the monastery and how did you get into the fraternal kitchen?

Fourth year. For a long time I combined the obedience of a stoker in the "Igumenskaya" hotel and an assistant librarian, then I was a milkman on a farm, and after health problems arose, I was returned to the Central Estate and was appointed assistant cook. Several times I had to replace the cook, and after two months I myself had to lead one of the shifts.

Before the monastery, did you have any cooking experience?

There is no professional one. I could cook something in "home" volumes, but not for one hundred or two hundred people. Therefore, at first, the most difficult thing was to calculate the amount of food needed to prepare the right number of servings. But over time, he got his hands on it.

What is the obedience regime?

We start obedience in the evening: we prepare dinner, some dishes for breakfast, we make preparations for lunch. The starting time of the evening shift depends on the volume and complexity of the meals. Therefore, in the evening, obedience begins in the interval from three to four hours. Recently, we have been steaming or baking almost all main courses in a hot oven. Kelare strives to make the brethren's food as healthy as possible we fry almost nothing, we use mainly olive oil. And this wonderful cabinet holds a limited amount of food, so it takes more time to cook. The morning shift starts at nine. The difficulty lies in the fact that few of the assistants stay in the kitchen for a long time. As a rule, recruits are assigned to this obedience. Only such a young brother, who never cooked anything at home, will master our specifics a little, as the term of his obedience in the monastery ends, and the next one must be taught. Therefore, you constantly have to monitor everything. Of course, among the recruits there are also smart guys who really like this obedience. They quickly learn everything, and then I can purposefully deal with one dish while preparing dinner and observe the general process. The evening shift ends in time for dinner, unless you need to cut fish for tomorrow (this is another hour or two), the day shift lasts until about two.

What are the busiest times of the year for the kitchen?

The most stressful work is when the full range of ingredients is used - fish, eggs, dairy products. And this happens during continuous weeks (Bright week, Shrovetide, from Christmas to Epiphany). On the contrary, it is easiest during Lent, especially in the first week, when only lunch is being prepared, and even then starting from Wednesday.

How tightly are your activities regulated by Kelarem?

There is no great freedom. There is a menu and recipe. The cook cannot invent and prepare new dishes without the blessing of the cellarer. The recipe is passed by word of mouth, so there are records. There is some freedom in the choice of spices and sauces. But in general, I have to cook exactly what is written in the menu and recipe, what was cooked before me, what the kelare said. I cannot go against obedience. Each cook, of course, has his own style: chop vegetables coarsely or finely, how much salt to add (I try to put less), but these are details.

Have you ever cooked a dish that you personally don't like at all?

- I somehow did not think about it. The process is more important to me. There are dishes that are more difficult for me - those that I have not cooked before. And I always get excited when I take a dish for the first time.

Is the reaction of the brothers important to you?

- Of course it is important. After all, everything is done with prayer and love. As the brother eats, so he will obey. With what mood he leaves the refectory, with such and will spend the rest of the day. Therefore, you try to cook both tastier and more delicious, because the brothers are different in build and appetite.

Have you ever come up with an initiative to cook some new dish?

- It happened to offer the kelare something new. He listens and accepts or does not accept my proposals.

You have two replacement assistants. How do you manage to get them to fulfill your requirements? After all, there are adults and independent people who believe that in their lives they have already learned "how to cut potatoes" and do not need additional instructions.

- Only patience. People did not come here to work, but to pray and learn to love their neighbor. In obedience I am an example for them. Up to fifteen times sometimes you have to say the same thing, to the point that you take the hand and say: "Let me show you how to cut." You cut out samples of vegetable preparations for him. If the brother is completely unbearable, then you simply entrust him with another matter. But I don't want to communicate sharply, to raise my voice. Maybe this is my personal opinion, but with what inner state a person leaves obedience (usually they are here for a short time), such will be his experience of communicating with people in the monastery. The calmer and more patient you treat a person, the more patient he becomes, learns not to notice any human shortcomings and look more in himself and behind himself. It is also very important to establish relationships within the team, and if a person does not like something categorically, there is no need to force him. It is better to send him to pray once more than to achieve the task at any cost. We are not in production, not at work, we are in a monastery, here the main tasks are completely different.

Did your assistants ever fail?

Everything happens to everyone. Especially at first, every beginner makes a lot of mistakes, you have to constantly watch, show and tell. If the assistant did something wrong, then you have to redo it for him, bring the dish to an "edible" state so as not to throw away the food. We are not professionals, and we came here not to learn to "cut vegetables". If the assistant is wrong, you start showing him several times, asking if he understood. Sometimes my brother gets nervous - yes, I understand, I understand - and then again he makes the same mistake. Obedience to cooking is very responsible. Although it is not visible to everyone. You do this not for one particular person, but for everyone. To make everyone like it. You don't expect praise, of course, this is not a monastery. But I really want everything to be always on the level.

Have you had any personal food problems? After all, you can eat as much as you like, choose the best piece for yourself. Do you eat with the brothers in the refectory or in the kitchen?

Personally, you cannot cook anything for yourself without the blessing of the cellarer, neither for me nor for the assistants. If there is no time, then you can eat in the kitchen, but only what is prepared for everyone. At the same time, the best is put on the table so that it looks beautiful and is pleasant, so that it is both appetizing and tasty. You take the leftovers for yourself, substandard. I did not think about a tidbit for myself. Food is food.

But what if other "workers" of the kelar service ask you to eat: dishwashers, milkmen ...

- You give without refusal, however you remind: take it, but there is a common meal. Lunch at the monastery - continuation of the service. We should all go to lunch. The washers and refectory do not have time to eat properly, so you leave them. I cannot refuse. For those who are attracted by delicious smells - I give it a try, but I definitely ask you to go to a brotherly dinner.

What gives you the greatest joy in this obedience?

- When the brothers come out of the refectory and smile. Unfortunately, we do not lie crosswise at the exit from the refectory, as they write about it in the patericons. I would like to look brothers in the eyes: did you like it? When the brothers are happy after the meal, it is a sign to me that obedience is well done.

What's the biggest burden?

- At first, when I myself became a cook, there was constant dissatisfaction with myself: I do not know how to do this, it would be better for me to do what is well given, and to bring all the more benefit to the monastery. When you come to the kitchen and do not know elementary things, an internal murmur arises, a desire to go to the confessor with the thought of changing obedience. Then, after praying, you say to yourself: “Who should do this? If I don't cook dinner today, then a hundred or two hundred people will go hungry. " From such thoughts it becomes very uncomfortable. After all, many of the brothers are tired, they are physically demanding ... Therefore, the most oppressive situation is the situation of uncertainty, fear due to inexperience to cause trouble to the brothers. Now the kelare is introducing new recipes. So I look at the menu for the week and see a new dish. How to cook it? Sometimes even familiar dishes may not work out due to the quality of the products. Again, the inner murmur and excitement rises. Having prayed to the Mother of God, you take yourself in hand and do not relax. Obedience is very responsible. At first I even thought that it was one of the most difficult. Now, of course, it's easier. And at first it was very hard both physically and mentally, I had to constantly be on my toes. After all, assistants watch how you behave in stressful situations. You can't answer rudely, look unfriendly. You try to do everything with a joke, with a smile: “It didn’t work out - don’t worry, it will work out next time, but remember that you have to do it this way, in this proportion”. When you do everything with prayer and do not give free rein to negative emotions, everything eventually falls into place.

Considering all the difficulties you mentioned, did you have a desire to ask for another obedience?

This should be treated as obedience, not as an optional job.

Imagine that you will meet your monastic old age in this kitchen. Not sad from such thoughts?

Somehow I didn't think about it. If you take a responsible attitude even to an unloved business, then over time it becomes a favorite. There is also handicraft, so it’s not boring or sad.

Valaam monastery